Helicopter parenting

[Anonymous]

My husbands sister was an oopsie baby. His parents were in their mid 40s when she was born twelve years after him. Needless to say, mid-twenties year old SIL is so spoiled. Parents just told us that they read and edit her grad school papers. She is in her mid/late twenties and in a masters program and mommy and daddy still check her homework. What the hell??

[Anonymous]

I know kids (grown adults in their 40's) who are spoiled. It's annoying, I get it, but not your problem.

[Anonymous]

It is my problem when my ILs favor their daughter over their son and grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is my problem when my ILs favor their daughter over their son and grandchild.

Not really. Your DH is an adult and he now has his own family. It is his job to make sure that his children are raised correctly. It sucks, but I would just accept it and move on. You will be much happier in the future.

[Anonymous]

How do I make sure that he doesn't think it is acceptable to raise our child the way they've raised their daughter if that is the only example he has had? I was raised to be pretty independent. My parents helped when I asked, but I didn't ask for much and I'd like to raise my child to be independent and not think mommy and daddy will fix all problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I make sure that he doesn't think it is acceptable to raise our child the way they've raised their daughter if that is the only example he has had? I was raised to be pretty independent. My parents helped when I asked, but I didn't ask for much and I'd like to raise my child to be independent and not think mommy and daddy will fix all problems.

Your husband is an individual, not an extension of his parents. I am sure he has seen many other examples of adults and how they act other than this parents. Many people choose to make different decisions than their parents did, he can too.

[Anonymous]

Kick them out of your family and write them out of your will. They will only come mooching later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is my problem when my ILs favor their daughter over their son and grandchild.

He has his own family, she doesn't. She also had her parents much shorter than he did. They are not going to treat them the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husbands sister was an oopsie baby. His parents were in their mid 40s when she was born twelve years after him. Needless to say, mid-twenties year old SIL is so spoiled. Parents just told us that they read and edit her grad school papers. She is in her mid/late twenties and in a masters program and mommy and daddy still check her homework. What the hell??

The spoiled little sis stays that way forever.

[Anonymous]

I heard a new word at a PTA coffee the other day. Lawnmower parent: A parent that removes all obstacles from their child's path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husbands sister was an oopsie baby. His parents were in their mid 40s when she was born twelve years after him. Needless to say, mid-twenties year old SIL is so spoiled. Parents just told us that they read and edit her grad school papers. She is in her mid/late twenties and in a masters program and mommy and daddy still check her homework. What the hell??

That's not spoiled. It's common sense. Do you have any post-bachelors' education? It is a good idea to hand your grad school papers to others for editing and proof-reading. I have two grad degrees and my husband has 3. We ask each other to help with beta reading all the time. If my kids are in grad school, I'd be happy to do the same for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I make sure that he doesn't think it is acceptable to raise our child the way they've raised their daughter if that is the only example he has had? I was raised to be pretty independent. My parents helped when I asked, but I didn't ask for much and I'd like to raise my child to be independent and not think mommy and daddy will fix all problems.

OP this is ridiculous. Isn't your husband able to think? Some of the things my parents did were great. Some of the things they did were awful. I pick and choose what I want to emulate. It's very simple.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are looking for a fight, OP.
Their family is the way it is. Didn't you know them before your wedding day?
What would make you happy here? You are starting to sound high maintenance too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husbands sister was an oopsie baby. His parents were in their mid 40s when she was born twelve years after him. Needless to say, mid-twenties year old SIL is so spoiled. Parents just told us that they read and edit her grad school papers. She is in her mid/late twenties and in a masters program and mommy and daddy still check her homework. What the hell??

The spoiled little sis stays that way forever.

You'd better believe it. And she can become a real PITA as a sister-in-law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are looking for a fight, OP.
Their family is the way it is. Didn't you know them before your wedding day?
What would make you happy here? You are starting to sound high maintenance too.

This. Can't your husband think for himself?