Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I hear a lot of info to be sympathetic to (nothing I didn’t already know though), some glossing over some details that would paint him in a worse light (who he cheated with, how bad the financial mistakes really were), and also some very subtle excuse making while saying he owns his mistakes. He’s a good salesman, he’s legit been thru a lot, and he put some people who cared about him thru hell. It can all be true at the same time. Just like Jen could be frickin annoying with her shilling post-Brandon career, but also have been legit pretty badly devastated both emotionally and financially by his actions. It’s weird people think it’s an either-or. Nothing either person has said really invalidates the other persons experience…

Before you all all gooey for what Brandon is pitching, remember this (above), he fooled a lot of people for long period of time. Because he is a salesman. There are details he is simply NOT going to share because they are too icky. The ally? Who was she? Where did he meet her? What "couldn't be unseen"? One time physical thing? Really? The money? Financial devastation? Why? How much? There were warning signs and only the closest to him were able to pick up on it. I've still got a soft spot for Jen, shilling or not. She has been the major bread winner in their family for long time and he was basically unemployed for those 3+ years. Out flaunting his money and buying all the toys and probably courting his "ally" with Jen's money.

Agree with this. I don't like Jen's schilling, but I do admire her hustle. Moping after a career hit is such a man thing to do. Jen absorbed the hit and pivoted. Coming out for equal rights for LGBTQ community was the correct move, even if that move was leaked early. They have five kids, had two houses, contracts, commitments. There is no time to sit around moping when you have that much responsibility. And it wasn't Jen's responsibility to fix him. He locked her out of his emotional journey.

I do feel bad for the loss of his friend. Sitting in a hospital room and dealing with a life changing/ending brain injury is terrible for any person, let alone being the driver in the accident. I've been there myself, it's tough, and it's a shame he couldn't make it out of that on the sober side.

I assume the thing that couldn't be unseen was photographic proof. I don't believe the physical betrayal was a one time thing. He admitted to it after she had evidence. I think Jen found out about the money, pills, cheating all in one day. Even then she may have been willing to fight to save their marriage, but Brandon was already gone. I'm sure once confronted he angrily explained all of that to her, and how he considered the marriage to be over. When liars, cheaters, and addicts are caught it's a massive blow out. He glossed over the reality of what went down (which is his right, I just don't find it sympathetic).

Even then, she had to rebuild alone. So yes I hate the schilling and the over the top-ness, but it seems to sell. She is employing herself and a team of people. That's a lot of responsibility to shoulder. It's not the choices I would make, but I've never been dug into such a hole. I'll keep my average corporate job, and anonymous suburban life.

I found Jen because of her family blog posts and relatable stories. That has to come to and end, even if her personal life hadn't blown up. Kids grow, become adults, move out and you have to rediscover yourself and your relationships. The reality is Jen and Brandon's divorce isn't all that different from many over in the relationship forum. There would be no sympathy for an addict and cheater over in that forum.

If he really did blindside her like that he should count himself lucky she didn’t go Goodbye Earl on him.

[Anonymous]

Listening to Brandon’s second podcast brings back the sense he’s a deeply feeling man with a big heart who self medicated with booze, gambling and sex. The worrisome part is his persistent denial he’s an addict in recovery. He says he’s in recovery from ptsd and the drinking, gambling and sex were just coping strategies. Given that Tina came along when he was in an active relapse post breakup with Jen suggests she became his new drug of choice and is now his preferred coping strategy. When he says she saved him I understand how having a loving partner is a significant help, but what he describes has serious codependent overtures. I hope for their sakes they work through those deeper issues lurking beneath the surface.
There are reasons why they both were in unhealthy relationships and those need to be addressed to walk in true health going forward.
It’s their journey and I wish them well. I’m glad his faith has been restored as he’s been rebuilding his life.

I’m back to wondering how significant was the financial damage he did before he left. Is Jen’s shilling tied to her feeling a desperate desire to rebuild what was lost to his gambling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to Brandon’s second podcast brings back the sense he’s a deeply feeling man with a big heart who self medicated with booze, gambling and sex. The worrisome part is his persistent denial he’s an addict in recovery. He says he’s in recovery from ptsd and the drinking, gambling and sex were just coping strategies. Given that Tina came along when he was in an active relapse post breakup with Jen suggests she became his new drug of choice and is now his preferred coping strategy. When he says she saved him I understand how having a loving partner is a significant help, but what he describes has serious codependent overtures. I hope for their sakes they work through those deeper issues lurking beneath the surface.
There are reasons why they both were in unhealthy relationships and those need to be addressed to walk in true health going forward.
It’s their journey and I wish them well. I’m glad his faith has been restored as he’s been rebuilding his life.

I’m back to wondering how significant was the financial damage he did before he left. Is Jen’s shilling tied to her feeling a desperate desire to rebuild what was lost to his gambling?

Um, thank you!! Hello, codependency? All the hallmarks and red flags are there. And I’m not naive, I have close family and friends that are on the trauma-addiction-codependency train and sadly Brandon and Tina reeeeek of it. I genuinely hope for their sakes they have professional help and can own up to it and work thru it or it’s doomed to problems.

Also, bet the financial losses were significant - they moved to sell the lake house really quickly and that was an income property as well…you don’t dump and investment unless you have a big problem. Plus, at least one kid in college and more headed there? Bad timing to add to financial losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to Brandon’s second podcast brings back the sense he’s a deeply feeling man with a big heart who self medicated with booze, gambling and sex. The worrisome part is his persistent denial he’s an addict in recovery. He says he’s in recovery from ptsd and the drinking, gambling and sex were just coping strategies. Given that Tina came along when he was in an active relapse post breakup with Jen suggests she became his new drug of choice and is now his preferred coping strategy. When he says she saved him I understand how having a loving partner is a significant help, but what he describes has serious codependent overtures. I hope for their sakes they work through those deeper issues lurking beneath the surface.
There are reasons why they both were in unhealthy relationships and those need to be addressed to walk in true health going forward.
It’s their journey and I wish them well. I’m glad his faith has been restored as he’s been rebuilding his life.

I’m back to wondering how significant was the financial damage he did before he left. Is Jen’s shilling tied to her feeling a desperate desire to rebuild what was lost to his gambling?

They bought Remy a new car, Jen is in the same house, she bought a new car for herself and keeps on going on vacations. It could not have been that bad.

[Anonymous]

The second podcast has some gaslighting. The professional counselor seemed to be enabling some of his denial of his addictions and the codependency of his new relationship. I can only imagine what the people who were left putting the pieces back together after his lying, stealing and cheating must feel listening to his explanations.
Also a raging alcoholic who is going through abuse cycles creates tremendous emotional carnage around them. That’s separate from the gambling and adultery. I now think Jen escaped into her “community” to fill all her emotional needs for affirmation, love and connection. In her curated self made world she was adored and accepted. At home she couldn’t control Brandon at all. That whole family needs an addiction’s counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The second podcast has some gaslighting. The professional counselor seemed to be enabling some of his denial of his addictions and the codependency of his new relationship. I can only imagine what the people who were left putting the pieces back together after his lying, stealing and cheating must feel listening to his explanations.
Also a raging alcoholic who is going through abuse cycles creates tremendous emotional carnage around them. That’s separate from the gambling and adultery. I now think Jen escaped into her “community” to fill all her emotional needs for affirmation, love and connection. In her curated self made world she was adored and accepted. At home she couldn’t control Brandon at all. That whole family needs an addiction’s counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse.

I have to be honest, I quit the second episode right after that female podcast host talked about how she was fangirling Tina even though they haven't met yet. Yikes. Who is this woman?!

[Anonymous]

So Brandon meets Tina out one night with friends and confesses to her his recent marital breakup is due to his adultery and addiction and Tina thinks that’s ok at least you are being honest about it? Let’s go ahead and dive into a serious relationship even though you just got out of rehab? We better get together right now in the midst of your brand new divorce or we’ll both go find someone else anyway?

Anyone else seeing red flags here?

[Anonymous]

To be honest I would not have been able to resist a sexually attractive empathetic person saying, “here let me love you while your whole life is in total shambles.” Not sure who could be that strong particularly after years in a loveless sexless marriage to a budding narcissist. Even if the marital destruction was of your own making.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else listening to Jen's podcast today? She spends the first five minutes insisting to her audience that 1.) Tyler was SUPER into her when she decided to confront him about the status of their relationship, and 2.) She met him when she was whole and healed.

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listening to Brandon’s second podcast brings back the sense he’s a deeply feeling man with a big heart who self medicated with booze, gambling and sex. The worrisome part is his persistent denial he’s an addict in recovery. He says he’s in recovery from ptsd and the drinking, gambling and sex were just coping strategies. Given that Tina came along when he was in an active relapse post breakup with Jen suggests she became his new drug of choice and is now his preferred coping strategy. When he says she saved him I understand how having a loving partner is a significant help, but what he describes has serious codependent overtures. I hope for their sakes they work through those deeper issues lurking beneath the surface.
There are reasons why they both were in unhealthy relationships and those need to be addressed to walk in true health going forward.
It’s their journey and I wish them well. I’m glad his faith has been restored as he’s been rebuilding his life.

I’m back to wondering how significant was the financial damage he did before he left. Is Jen’s shilling tied to her feeling a desperate desire to rebuild what was lost to his gambling?

They bought Remy a new car, Jen is in the same house, she bought a new car for herself and keeps on going on vacations. It could not have been that bad.

Items in bold were nearly two years later, and Jen selling her soul to the underworld in order to keep things afloat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else listening to Jen's podcast today? She spends the first five minutes insisting to her audience that 1.) Tyler was SUPER into her when she decided to confront him about the status of their relationship, and 2.) She met him when she was whole and healed.

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much....

Yeah, the Tyler relationship is forced. I think she has too much on her plate to actually move on to a true romantic partner. Tyler may be in the same boat, but that doesn't mean they are a forever match.

[Anonymous]

As for selling the lake house, I think that was probably part of the divorce settlement because they owned it jointly. It either had to be sold, pay off the remaining debt, and then split whatever money was left over between them. Or if one had wanted to keep it, that person would have had to assume the mortgage and buy out the other one by paying them the accumulated equity in a lump sum. Maybe it was negotiated that Jen keeps the house, but instead of buying out Brandon, they sold the jointly owned lake house and Brandon kept the proceeds from that instead.

[Anonymous]

What if they both stopped podcasting publicly about it and anything regarding their personal life relationships.

This all barely happened two years ago and it’s a disaster from both sides. They don’t know who they are or why and what outside the marriage and that’s normal! They’re only at the very beginning and start of recovery and putting pieces together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listening to Brandon’s second podcast brings back the sense he’s a deeply feeling man with a big heart who self medicated with booze, gambling and sex. The worrisome part is his persistent denial he’s an addict in recovery. He says he’s in recovery from ptsd and the drinking, gambling and sex were just coping strategies. Given that Tina came along when he was in an active relapse post breakup with Jen suggests she became his new drug of choice and is now his preferred coping strategy. When he says she saved him I understand how having a loving partner is a significant help, but what he describes has serious codependent overtures. I hope for their sakes they work through those deeper issues lurking beneath the surface.
There are reasons why they both were in unhealthy relationships and those need to be addressed to walk in true health going forward.
It’s their journey and I wish them well. I’m glad his faith has been restored as he’s been rebuilding his life.

I’m back to wondering how significant was the financial damage he did before he left. Is Jen’s shilling tied to her feeling a desperate desire to rebuild what was lost to his gambling?

They bought Remy a new car, Jen is in the same house, she bought a new car for herself and keeps on going on vacations. It could not have been that bad.

Items in bold were nearly two years later, and Jen selling her soul to the underworld in order to keep things afloat.

She may have had to economize but all of her shilling isn’t to keep the family afloat. It’s for her multiple Broadway shows, mini vacations and trips, expensive vehicle, nips and tucks, with 5 bikinis to boot to show it off, weeks at expensive resorts each summer and so on. Jen’s shilling is to achieve the lifestyle she wants, not making sure there’s food on the table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The second podcast has some gaslighting. The professional counselor seemed to be enabling some of his denial of his addictions and the codependency of his new relationship. I can only imagine what the people who were left putting the pieces back together after his lying, stealing and cheating must feel listening to his explanations.
Also a raging alcoholic who is going through abuse cycles creates tremendous emotional carnage around them. That’s separate from the gambling and adultery. I now think Jen escaped into her “community” to fill all her emotional needs for affirmation, love and connection. In her curated self made world she was adored and accepted. At home she couldn’t control Brandon at all. That whole family needs an addiction’s counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse.

I had many of the same thoughts on this. The "fangirling" comment about Tina was....something.