Husband has bad breath, affects intimacy
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I need help with this. It sounds ridiculous, but here it goes. My DH has bad breath and won't do anything about it. His sense of smell and taste are not very sensitive. For instance, he thinks I've never had bad breath even in the morning, and I KNOW I have because I can smell it sometimes. I mean, I'm in my 40's, have had plenty of sinus infections, etc., and there is the morning breath everyone gets. So obviously I get bad breath too. But he has never smelled it. He can't smell or taste his own bad breath. He told me the other day he can't feel the difference between when he has brushed his teeth or hasn't yet that day. He was conscious of it when at work and chewed gum constantly when there, because I had said some things about it nicely and I think people gave him hints there. But now he works at home.
So he brushes his teeth once per day in the morning. Sometimes he forgets on the weekends but if we are going to be intimate then he will go brush his teeth right before, because I have asked enough in the past. Well I have brought up that "everyone" brushes their tongue, since that is where most of the bacteria are. He gags when brushing his tongue. So I bought him a tongue scraper and said that may help. He tried it once/twice and said it is better but he still feels like he's going to gag. Well, his breath is better after he brushes his teeth, but it is not gone, so when having sex I don't want to kiss him, and that's a bummer for me. It is like he isn't very motivated about it either. I feel like I can't come up with another nice way to address it. He really should be brushing twice/day and trying to get used to the scraper, and rinsing with listerene. He's in his 50's, I'm in my 40's. Sorry this was long. Please give any suggestions as to what to do/say now. If I say too much, he gets annoyed and says "I can take care of myself" or just doesn't do anything. Usually that is when I have said he should be brushing more, rinsing, and scraping tongue "to take care of your teeth and gums like the hygienist said, and it's good for breath". I guess I haven't flat out said "your breath is horrid and it affects our intimacy" because his ego is sensitive and he doesn't take those things well. However he knows I think he has somewhat of a breath issue and at times has argued with me and said "I don't have bad breath" because he can't smell it. Sigh. |
Anonymous
| Get him to a dentist. My husband had this problem and had an infection. The treatment completely cleared it up. |
Anonymous
| Bad breath can be caused by stomach ulcer as well. |
Anonymous
OP here. What was the treatment? Was it a tooth infection, gum infection, whole mouth, sinus? |
Anonymous
Turned out it was in his gum, he needed a deep cleaning and antibiotics. It really worked. I was so put off by my husband's breath I would wipe off a cup if I wanted a sip after him. Had no idea it was and infection and it made 100% difference in our relationship, intimate and otherwise! |
Anonymous
| Just tell him to go to the dentist. He needs to get his teeth cleaned/checked once a year anyway, right? He can tell the dentist about your concerns and ask if he has some sort of infection. The dentist will help. |
Anonymous
|
I had this problem with an ex-boyfriend. I told him bluntly that it was a problem for me, and it would affect intimacy (as in intimacy probably wouldn't happen), but I didn't want that to happen.
He was a nice guy, understanding, and he appreciated my honesty. And we both viewed it as a medical issue (not a moral failing). He went to his dentist and asked for help. The dentist prescribed a special mouthwash that helped a lot. I suggest a visit to the dentist. Using prescription mouthwash is a pretty minimally invasive thing to ask someone to do, especially if it will improve your love life. I can't imagine why he would resist that. |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Okay, I was asking about the infection treatment just in case it applied. But he was just at the dentist recently, and was there last year too. Both times they said he has some receding gums from gingivitis (common at this age), but nothing else besides cavities filled. They said brush more, floss, rinse with listerene, and get regular cleanings (for the gums). So no hidden infection, unless it is some whole mouth thing.
I was just thinking, if you only brush your teeth once/day and forget about one day per week to do it at all, you never floss, you never brush/scrape your tongue, aren't you just not doing enough regular care to have good breath? |
Anonymous
| I think at this point you can tell him it's affecting your desire to be intimate. |
Anonymous
Yes. At a minimum he should brush when he wakes up and before he goes to bed. I have this issue with my boyfriend too. It may wind up being a dealbreaker for me. We have had fights about this. He thinks it is sufficient to brush his teeth once a day. Which would be fine if his breath didnt smell. |
Anonymous
| tell him no BJs until it gets fixed |
Anonymous
| Dentist and buy better toothpaste. |
Anonymous
| I hope he doesn't go down on you. Yuck mouth. |
Anonymous
| I would actually get a second opinion in this case, your dentist may have missed something and/or he needs a stronger treatment than the one recommended. There are Rx mouthwashes - at least get that so it will have more of an impact because your husband has obvious issues being compliant with his treatment plan. |
Anonymous
| what about tonsil stones? can he try to clean out the back of his throat with a qtip? those things are nasty and it's not really your fault if you get them, but you gotta be diligent and clean them out! |