My siblings ignore their kids' allergies despite multiple er/icu visits
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Anonymous
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I come from a family with four siblings. Me and one parent have allergies. My parent with the allergy grumbled a bit about having pets but was the stoic nonconfrontational type, so put up with it. I had a constant cough, asthma and runny nose as a kid and didnt realize till I grew up that I did not have to be sick 24-7, that I could be healthy if I practiced avoidance measures.
My siblings insist on bringing their pets to family gatherings which means I have to choose between seeing my family or feeling sick. Now two of them have kids, and one kid each has allergies. They've been to the er, icu, etc. One niece is in the icu as I type this. Yet my sibs refuse to practice avoidance measures. They keep windows open during pollen season, use scented wall plug ins, one just bought a new pet after having pets die (so they could have gone pet free without giving away a beloved pet) and one is planning on buying another next week. Both of these kids have tested positive for dog and cat allergies. I'd really like to try to convince my other sibling not to get the new pet, since it is obvious her kid has felt better without one. The weird thing is, my sib thinks her kid is allergic to all sorts of foods (despite negative allergy tests) and not not let her kid eat nuts, dairy, or wheat, but insists in having a dog!! As the kid whose allergies were ignored, I feel bad for niece and nephew. Should I speak up or myob? |
Anonymous
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I was your niece and nephew. Thankfully I survived.
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Anonymous
| I would MYOB. I have asthma and have tried to give my sister (who doesn't have asthma) advice because her son has asthma. She doesn't listen. So I've stopped giving advice, and I think you should too. |
Anonymous
| I am positive they have heard from doctors what you are saying, OP. They have heard it from their pediatricians, from ER staff, from mailings from insurance, probably from their friends, from the school nurse, even from the teacher. They have read it in magazines, seen it on websites, and so forth. They have rationalized their way around it and come up with excuses. "We vacuum." "It doesn't bother her." "She was the one who insisted we get a new dog." "We give him Claritin." People are mindless and your intervention will not help. |
Anonymous
| I think you can say something *once,* but I doubt it will do any good, since your siblings are already ignoring everyone else who's telling them the same thing and have already demonstrated that they are unwilling to make changes based on others' health. |
Anonymous
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I have extremely bad allergies, but would never give up my dog or stop having a dog. So I just keep popping the Zyrtec.
Oh and OP it's just allergies, MYOB. There is no cure for allergies and even if you got rid of the allergens, the allergies might still be there (this was my case). |
Anonymous
It sounds like the child needs repeated medical care (ie., ICU) due to these "just allergies." I would continue to talk to the parents if this were my niece or nephew. |
Anonymous
Allergies are not life threatening. Food allergies can be and so can asthma. Allergies can make your life a living hell, though. |
Anonymous
The child is currently in the Intensive Care Unit...they don't just admit the sniffles to the ICU. |
Anonymous
What is he in for? There must be something else going on? |
Anonymous
No clue, but allergies (environment or food) can cause asthma attacks which could lead to hospitalization and/or death. |
Anonymous
My good friend's 5 year old daughter ended up in ICU for a week due to undiagnosed asthma. There was nothing else going on. I don't know much about asthma myself, but apparently the child's asthma went undiagnosed for so long because she doesn't have the usual, obvious symptoms. The parents felt terrible, of course, especially her husband because he's an asthmatic himself and didn't recognize his daughter's condition. They had always had a cat (and frankly, a very cluttered house that was far too small for them), but had recently gotten a dog. Perhaps that is what finally pushed the daughter health into a critical state. They immediately rehomed the pets and radically changed their living conditions. What is especially interesting is that the child had had various developmental/educational issues. For example, she potty trained very late and still often had both urine and poop accidents at school. Once the asthma was diagnosed and treated, those problems went away. Her pediatrician told my friend that the girl's body was so focused on trying to breath that it couldn't also handle other tasks. She also started reading easily once she was healthy. |
Anonymous
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Allergies of any type can be life-threatening.
My son ended up blue-faced in the ER form an asthma attack even though DH is a doctor and we had both been monitoring him. It just snowballed unusually quickly. Your siblings are frightfully irresponsible and it must be painful to watch. However, you have no control over the situation. Accept it, and limit interactions. |
Anonymous
+1 OP needs to mind her own business. Her siblings are taking their kids to the doctor and hospital, so it's not like the kids aren't being cared for or treated. Most of the time when people like OP obsess and judge, they don't know the whole story. |
Anonymous
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10:46 here.
I would add that my husband has asthma. We have pets. He has always had pets. He doesn't have flare ups due to the pets. But when he gets a cold, it tends to be more severe than just a regular cold. Kids get exposed to colds and germs A LOT at school. It's possible her sibling's kid with asthma happens to have a flare up when he/she gets the common cold. My point is that there are all kinds of things that OP hasn't thought of or simply doesn't know. The kids are being cared for and getting medical care. |