My siblings ignore their kids' allergies despite multiple er/icu visits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have extremely bad allergies, but would never give up my dog or stop having a dog. So I just keep popping the Zyrtec.

Oh and OP it's just allergies, MYOB. There is no cure for allergies and even if you got rid of the allergens, the allergies might still be there (this was my case).

It sounds like the child needs repeated medical care (ie., ICU) due to these "just allergies." I would continue to talk to the parents if this were my niece or nephew.

Allergies are not life threatening. Food allergies can be and so can asthma. Allergies can make your life a living hell, though.

The child is currently in the Intensive Care Unit...they don't just admit the sniffles to the ICU.

What is he in for? There must be something else going on?

My good friend's 5 year old daughter ended up in ICU for a week due to undiagnosed asthma. There was nothing else going on. I don't know much about asthma myself, but apparently the child's asthma went undiagnosed for so long because she doesn't have the usual, obvious symptoms. The parents felt terrible, of course, especially her husband because he's an asthmatic himself and didn't recognize his daughter's condition. They had always had a cat (and frankly, a very cluttered house that was far too small for them), but had recently gotten a dog. Perhaps that is what finally pushed the daughter health into a critical state. They immediately rehomed the pets and radically changed their living conditions.

What is especially interesting is that the child had had various developmental/educational issues. For example, she potty trained very late and still often had both urine and poop accidents at school. Once the asthma was diagnosed and treated, those problems went away. Her pediatrician told my friend that the girl's body was so focused on trying to breath that it couldn't also handle other tasks. She also started reading easily once she was healthy.

Or she just grew out of those problems. I find it irresponsible of the pediatrician to make the very unsubstantiated claim that asthma caused the other problems. It's like the people who find out their kid has autism right around the time they get their shots. Coincidence, likely, because around the time those things are usually diagnosed is usually around the age kids get those specific shots.

I hate when people draw connections and insist on them, even when they're very unsubstantiated.

I also think your post assumes people with asthma can't have pets, which is a stretch. My brother and husband both have asthma and both have ALWAYS had pets. And yet their asthma is under control. The only time they both have flare-ups is if they get a cold or flu (like when I have a cold and then my husband gets it) or, in my brother's case, when over-exerting himself in heat. My husband also gets a flare up when he's doing any kind of construction with saw dust.

Neither of them have issues with cats or dogs.

You simply can't always make the assumption that that is the issue. Asthma is also different from allergies.

[Anonymous]

Would your siblings listen to your parent that has allergies? I'd at least suggest to the sister who hasn't yet bought a dog that she should hold off for a few months and see if her child's condition improves. Then it's not like she can't ever have a dog, but she's just delaying it a bit.

And don't be overly dramatic about your siblings bringing their pets to family reunions. Take Zyrtec and suck it up for the few times that everyone is together. My husband does this and has never complained about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have extremely bad allergies, but would never give up my dog or stop having a dog. So I just keep popping the Zyrtec.

Oh and OP it's just allergies, MYOB. There is no cure for allergies and even if you got rid of the allergens, the allergies might still be there (this was my case).

It sounds like the child needs repeated medical care (ie., ICU) due to these "just allergies." I would continue to talk to the parents if this were my niece or nephew.

Allergies are not life threatening. Food allergies can be and so can asthma. Allergies can make your life a living hell, though.

The child is currently in the Intensive Care Unit...they don't just admit the sniffles to the ICU.

What is he in for? There must be something else going on?

My good friend's 5 year old daughter ended up in ICU for a week due to undiagnosed asthma. There was nothing else going on. I don't know much about asthma myself, but apparently the child's asthma went undiagnosed for so long because she doesn't have the usual, obvious symptoms. The parents felt terrible, of course, especially her husband because he's an asthmatic himself and didn't recognize his daughter's condition. They had always had a cat (and frankly, a very cluttered house that was far too small for them), but had recently gotten a dog. Perhaps that is what finally pushed the daughter health into a critical state. They immediately rehomed the pets and radically changed their living conditions.

What is especially interesting is that the child had had various developmental/educational issues. For example, she potty trained very late and still often had both urine and poop accidents at school. Once the asthma was diagnosed and treated, those problems went away. Her pediatrician told my friend that the girl's body was so focused on trying to breath that it couldn't also handle other tasks. She also started reading easily once she was healthy.

Or she just grew out of those problems. I find it irresponsible of the pediatrician to make the very unsubstantiated claim that asthma caused the other problems. It's like the people who find out their kid has autism right around the time they get their shots. Coincidence, likely, because around the time those things are usually diagnosed is usually around the age kids get those specific shots.

I hate when people draw connections and insist on them, even when they're very unsubstantiated.

I also think your post assumes people with asthma can't have pets, which is a stretch. My brother and husband both have asthma and both have ALWAYS had pets. And yet their asthma is under control. The only time they both have flare-ups is if they get a cold or flu (like when I have a cold and then my husband gets it) or, in my brother's case, when over-exerting himself in heat. My husband also gets a flare up when he's doing any kind of construction with saw dust.

Neither of them have issues with cats or dogs.

You simply can't always make the assumption that that is the issue. Asthma is also different from allergies.

PP you quoted here. It's true it could be coincidence that she outgrew her problems, just like it could be coincidence that they got a dog just before her asthma became critical. We will never know.

Also true that asthma doesn't always rule out having pets. Everyone has their own particular triggers.

But OP stated that her niece's and nephew's asthma is not under control. They have repeated trips to the ER and ICU. There is no way that any doctor hasn't suggested they remove the pets and see if that makes a difference, so her siblings are probably not complying with medical advice. OP said her sister's pet just died and they have an opportunity to live pet free. Why would any responsible parents not at least wait for a while to see if that helps the child's condition stabilize? Maybe it helps. Maybe it doesn't and they get a cat or dog six months from now instead. It's not like they need a working dog in their home; they simply want a pet.

I get the desire for a pet. Except for the time I lived in a college dorm, I've never lived without pets. I am significantly allergic to cats and dogs, and I choose to just deal with it because I love animals. I don't have a child with asthma, though. It would be incredibly painful for me to give up our pets, but this seems like just one of those things you have to consider when you're responsible for someone else's well-being.

[Anonymous]

OP if your sister isn't listening to anything you or your doctors say and the kids have asthma and are landing in the ER, I'm surprised child protective services hasn't been called? My sister (who was wild, not abused) went to the ER 3x in a year and we were investigated. Seemed like it was an automatic response when a kid is in that often. You could always call and explain the situation.

[Anonymous]

PP again. And if you read my first post carefully, you'll note that my friend's husband has asthma and they still had a cat and a dog. So clearly, they (and I) recognize that animals and asthmatics can coexist. When you have a child who is critically ill with yet unknown triggers, you really have to start by eliminating everything and slowly adding potentials triggers one at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from a family with four siblings. Me and one parent have allergies. My parent with the allergy grumbled a bit about having pets but was the stoic nonconfrontational type, so put up with it. I had a constant cough, asthma and runny nose as a kid and didnt realize till I grew up that I did not have to be sick 24-7, that I could be healthy if I practiced avoidance measures.

My siblings insist on bringing their pets to family gatherings which means I have to choose between seeing my family or feeling sick.

Now two of them have kids, and one kid each has allergies. They've been to the er, icu, etc. One niece is in the icu as I type this. Yet my sibs refuse to practice avoidance measures. They keep windows open during pollen season, use scented wall plug ins, one just bought a new pet after having pets die (so they could have gone pet free without giving away a beloved pet) and one is planning on buying another next week. Both of these kids have tested positive for dog and cat allergies.

I'd really like to try to convince my other sibling not to get the new pet, since it is obvious her kid has felt better without one. The weird thing is, my sib thinks her kid is allergic to all sorts of foods (despite negative allergy tests) and not not let her kid eat nuts, dairy, or wheat, but insists in having a dog!!

As the kid whose allergies were ignored, I feel bad for niece and nephew. Should I speak up or myob?

Call child protective services and report them for medical neglect. ICU is serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP if your sister isn't listening to anything you or your doctors say and the kids have asthma and are landing in the ER, I'm surprised child protective services hasn't been called? My sister (who was wild, not abused) went to the ER 3x in a year and we were investigated. Seemed like it was an automatic response when a kid is in that often. You could always call and explain the situation.

Oh, come on! Child protective services?

I love when people judge the parenting of other people and don't even seem to consider the possibility that they don't have ALL of the information.

As for your sister, it all depends on what the trips to the ER were for. If she was going to the ER with seriously impact injuries that might suggest being physically beaten or pushed down the stairs, that's a different story.

But going to the ER because of asthma attacks is a different thing. No, social services isn't usually called in.

[Anonymous]

ICU is very, very serious. I can't imagine any parent would go through that with their child and be so carefree about managing allergies. ICU is for life-threatening conditions.
Obviously the medical team would provide education and recommendations upon discharge from the hospital, and if they are ignoring this, then OP has very little chance if reaching them. Again, if multiple ICU hospitalization a result from the parents' negligence, CPS would be appropriate.
Somehow I don't think we have the whole story or an accurate picture.

[Anonymous]

Pardon typos^^

[Anonymous]

Op here.
Both the kids have tested positive for dog and cat allergies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would your siblings listen to your parent that has allergies? I'd at least suggest to the sister who hasn't yet bought a dog that she should hold off for a few months and see if her child's condition improves. Then it's not like she can't ever have a dog, but she's just delaying it a bit.

And don't be overly dramatic about your siblings bringing their pets to family reunions. Take Zyrtec and suck it up for the few times that everyone is together. My husband does this and has never complained about it.

I have let allergies and even when I pretreat and take Claritin, I still feel sick. It's miserable to have a constant runny nose and wheezing just because someone won't keep their dog at home or outside.

[Anonymous]

There is allergies and asthma...and then there is ALLERGIES and ASTHMA. A huge spectrum. People with mild allergies and mild asthma can usually still have pets and just use OTC antihistamines to manage.

Other people have moderate to severe allergies that do not respond to OTC meds and asthma attacks that can be fatal, or require intensive medical intervention. These people should not have pets at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is allergies and asthma...and then there is ALLERGIES and ASTHMA. A huge spectrum. People with mild allergies and mild asthma can usually still have pets and just use OTC antihistamines to manage.

Other people have moderate to severe allergies that do not respond to OTC meds and asthma attacks that can be fatal, or require intensive medical intervention. These people should not have pets at all.

If pets are what they're allergic to.

My kid has severe asthma and allergies. Miss lots of school, tons of meds, kinds of allergies although luckily not ICU allergies. He's allergic to every kind of inhaled plant thing, pollen, mold, etc . . . He also reacts like crazy to smoke. Not just cigarette smoke but someone having a barbecue a block away type smoke.

But he's totally fine with our dog, and isn't bothered at all by cold weather. I've fought with several teachers who tell me that "kids with asthma shouldn't go outside in the winter". In fact outside in the winter is the best place for him to be, because the frost kills anything that would cause him to react.

He's also reactive to any kind of "natural" plant scent, but fake stuff like the plug in air fresheners someone mentioned? Not a problem. We're AA and finding hair products that work for him is a challenge. People are constantly telling me that I should buy him such and such because it's "natural" so it's safe, but it's not. On the other hand, he has no difficulty covering himself with Axe (the joys of teenage boys!).

It's hard to tell here whether the OP actually knows what she's saying is true, in which case what she's describing is medical neglect, or whether she's speculating about the allergies in which case she needs to butt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call child protective services and report them for medical neglect. ICU is serious.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is allergies and asthma...and then there is ALLERGIES and ASTHMA. A huge spectrum. People with mild allergies and mild asthma can usually still have pets and just use OTC antihistamines to manage.

Other people have moderate to severe allergies that do not respond to OTC meds and asthma attacks that can be fatal, or require intensive medical intervention. These people should not have pets at all.

If pets are what they're allergic to.

My kid has severe asthma and allergies. Miss lots of school, tons of meds, kinds of allergies although luckily not ICU allergies. He's allergic to every kind of inhaled plant thing, pollen, mold, etc . . . He also reacts like crazy to smoke. Not just cigarette smoke but someone having a barbecue a block away type smoke.

But he's totally fine with our dog, and isn't bothered at all by cold weather. I've fought with several teachers who tell me that "kids with asthma shouldn't go outside in the winter". In fact outside in the winter is the best place for him to be, because the frost kills anything that would cause him to react.

He's also reactive to any kind of "natural" plant scent, but fake stuff like the plug in air fresheners someone mentioned? Not a problem. We're AA and finding hair products that work for him is a challenge. People are constantly telling me that I should buy him such and such because it's "natural" so it's safe, but it's not. On the other hand, he has no difficulty covering himself with Axe (the joys of teenage boys!).

It's hard to tell here whether the OP actually knows what she's saying is true, in which case what she's describing is medical neglect, or whether she's speculating about the allergies in which case she needs to butt out.

OP has said more than once that these kids have tested as allergic to pets. It's clear that is the problem.