Mid-life crisis

[Anonymous]

My wife started acting different in the past few months and it turns out that she was flirting with some guy at work and going out for drinks with him and his friends often after work. She also started to focus on the way that she dressed and the way that she looked at the same time and I sensed that something was different before I found texts on her phone. We've been married for about 10 years and have two kids and are both in our early 40s. She seems sorry and told me that it was a mid-life crisis and that she feels really bad about her behavior.

All things considered, I don't believe that it ever turned physical and this is not like her. Does this sound realistic or do you think that she is trying to make an excuse since she got caught?

[Anonymous]

I think the other dude has been balls deep in her and she's lying her ass off to you.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, I have to agree with PP She was displaying classic symptoms of someone having an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I have to agree with PP She was displaying classic symptoms of someone having an affair.

I disagree. So she was dressing better and maybe flirting with someone. That's a big jump to having an affair.

[Anonymous]

You really have to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe her if this is the first time something like this has happened. Try to both make life a little more interesting and less hum-drum.

Please ignore the first brutish poster.

[Anonymous]

hope it was just flirting and she was trying to recapture some of her sexual energy.

use this an opportunity to turn the situation around. have a heart to heart - no judging, no getting upset. find out what she feels she's been missing - spark, excitement, etc. are just too plain for reasons and too many women hide behind that. i mean really find out - and see what you can do (as a surprise for her) to reignite that in her - turn her into your bedroom porn start again.

win-win.

[Anonymous]

give her the benefits of doubts. In my company people flirt all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I have to agree with PP She was displaying classic symptoms of someone having an affair.

+1

You are probably a guy who doesn't excite her anymore because you've been working your ass off doing everything she says she wants her husband to do. Because of that, she finds herself unhaaaappy. Some stranger who hasn't done 1% as much for her as you have nonetheless gives her a jolt of dopamine because he's exciting. Before long, you're in "Eat, Pray, Love" territory. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife started acting different in the past few months and it turns out that she was flirting with some guy at work and going out for drinks with him and his friends often after work. She also started to focus on the way that she dressed and the way that she looked at the same time and I sensed that something was different before I found texts on her phone. We've been married for about 10 years and have two kids and are both in our early 40s. She seems sorry and told me that it was a mid-life crisis and that she feels really bad about her behavior.

All things considered, I don't believe that it ever turned physical and this is not like her. Does this sound realistic or do you think that she is trying to make an excuse since she got caught?

So cliche and classic, it may be a troll.

In the even it is not, this has started long before you noticed changes. Usually the visible change is because she is "committed" to the affair. Sorry dude, like others said, shes been plowed. Get yourself a divorce lawyer. And I do wish you the best. You can still be happy in life. But sticking this out is not a permanent thing. You'll always resent.

[Anonymous]

I was the wife in this situation and I didn't sleep with the guy. I was having fun and the fun went further than it should have in terms of flirting over drinks after work. I'm extremely thankful for my trusting and generous husband who understood I fucked up and didn't judge me to be a lying slut, but took it for the stupid selfish mistake I made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the wife in this situation and I didn't sleep with the guy. I was having fun and the fun went further than it should have in terms of flirting over drinks after work. I'm extremely thankful for my trusting and generous husband who understood I fucked up and didn't judge me to be a lying slut, but took it for the stupid selfish mistake I made.

Define went further than it should have. Did anyone's genitals get wet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the wife in this situation and I didn't sleep with the guy. I was having fun and the fun went further than it should have in terms of flirting over drinks after work. I'm extremely thankful for my trusting and generous husband who understood I fucked up and didn't judge me to be a lying slut, but took it for the stupid selfish mistake I made.

HA!!! You already went too far when you agreed to 1.) meet and 2.) have drinks. You also went too far earlier before you did 1 and 2. You've been flirting before this at work to even lead up to this. Had your trusting and generous husband not talk to you, you'd be posting how awesome it was to be pounded by another man outside your marriage.

He may not have judged you. But you need to take a long hard look at yourself. You could have lost everything. You still may. These things dont just go away. It'll resurface and you need to be prepared to deal with the aftermath.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but a loving spouse DOES NOT FLIRT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I have to agree with PP She was displaying classic symptoms of someone having an affair.

I disagree. So she was dressing better and maybe flirting with someone. That's a big jump to having an affair.

+1. Please take all the comments with a grain of salt op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the wife in this situation and I didn't sleep with the guy. I was having fun and the fun went further than it should have in terms of flirting over drinks after work. I'm extremely thankful for my trusting and generous husband who understood I fucked up and didn't judge me to be a lying slut, but took it for the stupid selfish mistake I made.

HA!!! You already went too far when you agreed to 1.) meet and 2.) have drinks. You also went too far earlier before you did 1 and 2. You've been flirting before this at work to even lead up to this. Had your trusting and generous husband not talk to you, you'd be posting how awesome it was to be pounded by another man outside your marriage.

He may not have judged you. But you need to take a long hard look at yourself. You could have lost everything. You still may. These things dont just go away. It'll resurface and you need to be prepared to deal with the aftermath.

Firstly, I never denied I went too far. That's exactly my point. That I did. Secondly, it was me who brought it all up with my husband. I was the one who put a break on things and decided to come clean with DH. Thirdly, even if I was pounded in the most satanically yet heavenly way by the hottest fucking guy on earth, I would never share it with you or anyone else on this forum. Fourthly, I did take a long hard look at myself. That was why I brought it up with DH. I was aware that I could have lost everything, even though nothing ever happened. And DH and I have moved on in a very positive manner. We both learned from the situation in ways that improved our relationship.

And let's face it - the discussion on this forum about whether you can be attracted to other people while being married and in love with someone, is like the discussion about god and atheism. There are those who completely believe things to be one way and believe it should be that way for everyone else just because that's what they believe. So yeah, if you have ever flirted or felt some kind of attraction for someone who is not your partner, than you're a selfish pig who doesn't even know what love is and can only think about banging everything that walks.