Polyamory: When three isn't a crowd

[Anonymous]

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/26/living/relationships-polyamory/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

I thought I was open minded, but this seems just creepy to me. Especially since they are raising a child in this situation. What do other people think of this alternative "family structure"?

[Anonymous]

Every time I read about or watch a show about these groupings, despite their protestations it's always apparent that someone is getting the shaft (in a bad way). It's usually the case that the woman still has warm feelings for the first boyfriend but wants to bone someone else, so she convinces boyfriend 1 (who's massively beta) that open-minded, enlightened people can free themselves from the shackles of monogamy imposed by society. So, to save his dignity, he tells himself and the world that he chose this lifestyle. Meanwhile, he dies a little inside every time he hears his girlfriend getting it from boyfriend 2., who cruelly flaunts it in his face because, after all, he's totally cool with it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I read about or watch a show about these groupings, despite their protestations it's always apparent that someone is getting the shaft (in a bad way). It's usually the case that the woman still has warm feelings for the first boyfriend but wants to bone someone else, so she convinces boyfriend 1 (who's massively beta) that open-minded, enlightened people can free themselves from the shackles of monogamy imposed by society. So, to save his dignity, he tells himself and the world that he chose this lifestyle. Meanwhile, he dies a little inside every time he hears his girlfriend getting it from boyfriend 2., who cruelly flaunts it in his face because, after all, he's totally cool with it!

I kind of feel the same way, and know lots of people who follow this lifestyle. Another issue I find is that it's never the attractive people who are in poly relationships. I'm surprised most people in them could find even one person willing to f*c! them long-term, let alone two.

[Anonymous]

PP at 13:31 again, I mean, look at these people, ick! http://us.cnn.com/2013/10/26/living/relationships-polyamory/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

[Anonymous]

Date lab sponsored a match like that this week. See the WaPo magazine.

[Anonymous]

Isn't it usually a woman and a man and then another man is brought in who does both the woman and the first man?

[Anonymous]

It's disgusting behavior. Yes, I am a prude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it usually a woman and a man and then another man is brought in who does both the woman and the first man?

This is not the case for either of the poly couples I know. One is a married couple where the husband has a girlfriend. The two women do not have a romantic/sexual relationship at all. The wife is free to date other men but doesn't.

The other is a long term dating couple who both date other people. There is no mingling of partners though and they don't live together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it usually a woman and a man and then another man is brought in who does both the woman and the first man?

This is not the case for either of the poly couples I know. One is a married couple where the husband has a girlfriend. The two women do not have a romantic/sexual relationship at all. The wife is free to date other men but doesn't.

The other is a long term dating couple who both date other people. There is no mingling of partners though and they don't live together.

Your first example sounds like what 10:17 describes. It makes me think the wife has low self-esteem to be ok with her husband's gf.

[Anonymous]

I know a poly couple with kids. They used to be attractive but aren't even remotely anymore. They both have outside partners.

Their stance is that one man/woman can't meet the emotional needs of each other. I don't get it at all. I think the "other" partners are getting the shaft emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP at 13:31 again, I mean, look at these people, ick! http://us.cnn.com/2013/10/26/living/relationships-polyamory/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

The pics made me laugh. I'm sorry but not one person is even remotely attractive. Ick, ick, ick.

[Anonymous]

well, DH and I always joke that we could use a 'wife'--you know, someone who will help us out with childcare, errands, cooking, paying the bills, etc. (yes, its sexist and yes, we're joking).

[Anonymous]

There is a whole reality series on Showtime about this. Again, ugly people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it usually a woman and a man and then another man is brought in who does both the woman and the first man?

This is not the case for either of the poly couples I know. One is a married couple where the husband has a girlfriend. The two women do not have a romantic/sexual relationship at all. The wife is free to date other men but doesn't.

The other is a long term dating couple who both date other people. There is no mingling of partners though and they don't live together.

Your first example sounds like what 10:17 describes. It makes me think the wife has low self-esteem to be ok with her husband's gf.

The wife has a LOT of problems. Severe anxiety and depression, she's very overweight and suffering health related complications from that. She's had a lot of difficulty holding a job due to the mental illness. What really weirds me out about it is that the girlfriend looks a LOT like the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it usually a woman and a man and then another man is brought in who does both the woman and the first man?

This is not the case for either of the poly couples I know. One is a married couple where the husband has a girlfriend. The two women do not have a romantic/sexual relationship at all. The wife is free to date other men but doesn't.

The other is a long term dating couple who both date other people. There is no mingling of partners though and they don't live together.

Your first example sounds like what 10:17 describes. It makes me think the wife has low self-esteem to be ok with her husband's gf.

The wife has a LOT of problems. Severe anxiety and depression, she's very overweight and suffering health related complications from that. She's had a lot of difficulty holding a job due to the mental illness. What really weirds me out about it is that the girlfriend looks a LOT like the wife.

What about husband?