reality check - for people whose parents live with them
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Anonymous
| My mom is staying with us for a few months to recover from an injury. She is basically using the equivalent of a third of our house. She has packed up her house, turned off utilities, etc. there. Do folks think it's reasonable to expect her to contribute to our household? She has other healthcare-related expenses, and has thus offered us $200 per month to include all meals, utilities, etc. She has the equivalent of $500k in home equity, savings, 401k, etc., and will soon receive a regular pension and social security. We are better off than her salary-wise (but not retirement-wise), but a series of health-related expenses has meant that we are not flush right now. Her giving us $200 per month basically means that we'd be taking a hit every month to host her, which is money we don't currently have. I'd appreciate hearing from those who have a parent or two living with you and what financial arrangement you've come to. |
Anonymous
| She still has house expenses. I would never take money from my mom. Let it go. |
Anonymous
| OP, factoring in just food and utilities, but not living space, what do you think she should contribute? How much extra actual money (as opposed to inconvenience because she's taking up space) is she costing each month? Since you're focusing on the economics, then from a stobe cold POV if you're an only child you'll inherit all of what she's got left when she dies. |
Anonymous
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Take the $200 and get over the loss. This is probably a really good lesson on planning for the future for your mom. If she was in an over 55 community she could have a home nurse or go to extended care for rehab.
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Anonymous
| When you say you're taking a hit to host her - what is the amount of that loss? |
Anonymous
| I would never take money from my parents if they needed to live with me, and I hate them. But, I also know they would pitch in with buying groceries on a regular basis and cleaning, etc. |
Anonymous
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My father (age 85) lives with us. He as a small pension from the Army and Social Security. I do not take money from him. He often offers to buy groceries, take us out to dinner, buys an impromptu gas card or grocery store gift card, etc.
My father has nowhere else to go and I much prefer it this way then him living in some type of section 8 senior housing. This is the least I can do for him. I cannot dream of charging him a monthly fee for staying in our home, and my father is likely staying with us for a much longer time than your mom is staying with you, OP. Life is not always a spreadsheet calculation. |
Anonymous
| My 92 year old in-laws live with us. I'd never expect them to contribute, but they do. They buy their own groceries and every now and then give us a check for us to buy wine for ourselves. But a don't need the extra income either. |
Anonymous
| Take the 200 but don't ask for more |
Anonymous
Do you expect to inherit your father's estate? 
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Anonymous
| Take the $200. It's only going to be for a few (3-4?) mos. you're basically just buying some extra groceries right? I guess the water bill and maybe electricity is going up a little ($10-15). Why did she pack up her house and move it to your house if she's only staying for a bit? All she needs is clothes and toiletries, yes? |
Anonymous
| I don't think you can really allocate costs of 1/3 of your housing rent/mortgage to her, since you have that anyway, so that's a little unfair. How much could she possibly be eating and costing you in extra utilities? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Siblings pitching in money time or energy? |
Anonymous
| Your mom took a big hit every month for 18 years (or more) raising you. Take the $200 and do not ask for more. |