Can someone who is gay/bisexual live happily in a straight marriage?

[Anonymous]

I am bisexual and have been since I can remember. I feel sexually attracted to the same sex strongly, but have had successful opposite sex relationships. I am now married to someone of the opposite sex, but I catch myself being attracted mostly to same sex people on a regular basis. As of right now I love my spouse and would not consider leaving, but is this a sustainable situation permanently?

[Anonymous]

I think this is kind of a moot question. How does this make you different from people who are in hetero marriages who are attracted to opposite sex people outside of their marriage? It doesn't. You got married, you committed. Are you in love?

[Anonymous]

My situation is almost identical to yours, and I'm not worried that its not sustainable. I love and am attracted to my husband, and being attracted to women doesn't change that. My husband also isn't a jealous man, and would jump at the idea of a threesome lol.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this post and I, too, ponder this question. I don't have a good answer, yet.

[Anonymous]

I think someone bisexual can, but it seems unlikely that a gay person could happily live in a straight marriage since they'd be denying a major part of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My situation is almost identical to yours, and I'm not worried that its not sustainable. I love and am attracted to my husband, and being attracted to women doesn't change that. My husband also isn't a jealous man, and would jump at the idea of a threesome lol.

. +1

[Anonymous]

OP here, I am so surprised to see I'm not alone. I guess what makes me wonder about it is that when I think someone is attractive or I seek out an eye candy, 98% of the time they are same sex. I rarely look at the opposite sex with any desire at all. But I do love/am attracted to my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I am so surprised to see I'm not alone. I guess what makes me wonder about it is that when I think someone is attractive or I seek out an eye candy, 98% of the time they are same sex. I rarely look at the opposite sex with any desire at all. But I do love/am attracted to my spouse.

15:46 here. Has your attraction always leaned this way? I would say it was about 50/50 before I met my husband, and since we have been together, I find that I look at women more, perhaps because I am satisfied with my husband?

[Anonymous]

How long have you been married? Do you have children yet? I'd worry once the honeymoon phase is over you may realize you are gay. That is not sustainable in the long run.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I have ever considered whether or not it was 50/50 before. Now, thinking about it, I'd say no, but I could be wrong. But I guess your theory makes sense, 16:04.
16:38 - married for 4 years, two kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, it doesn't matter if you're gay straight bi or attracted to goats. You made a commitment to be faithful to ONE person, and that commitment should be honored. The sex of the person who catches your eye is irrelevant.

If you were married to a person of the same sex as you, I'm willing to bet you will still be attracted to other people regardless of sex. It's what you choose to do with that attraction that matters

[Anonymous]

In my experience, bisexual men have less luck being happy married to a woman. Bisexual women seem more likely to be able to be content married to a man.

[Anonymous]

Lesbian here. Eh, I think as long as you're attracted to your spouse you're fine. I'm happy in bed with my dw, but fantasize about women who are her polar opposite and a few men. I have want I want and don't actually want to act on any of my fantasies.

[Anonymous]

OP did not disclose whether they were a man or a woman. It's a different answer if it's a man. Bisexual men just do not have much success staying faithful to a woman.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a man or woman?