Are you a married woman who is friends with a married man

[Anonymous]

Without being friends with one another's spouse? I'm wondering if this works for you and your significant other.

[Anonymous]

Work friends, sure. We've met one another's spouses. But none of us hang out or talk outside work. Just lunch, chatting, etc. at the office.

[Anonymous]

I am. Actually, I have two very good male friends. One I've known since high school, the other college. We never were romantic. I am friendly with their wives but I wouldn't say we're friends. We live in different cities now so we don't socialize as much but when we are able to get together my husband is fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Works well, I've known my friend for 25 years, we all get along when we get together. DH thinks it's great we are still in touch after so long.

[Anonymous]

What about more recent friends? Not from college etc

[Anonymous]

I don't have any male friends I am as close to as my closest female friends, but I do have male friends that I occasionally catch up with over dinner or lunch without our respective spouses. Most of my male friends are in the same niche field I am, so it's nice to talk shop without boring our spouses. We do also socialize with our spouses around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about more recent friends? Not from college etc

Why are you asking, OP? It depends on the specific circumstance and the reason behind the spouses not being brought in on the friendship as well. Old friendships are one thing, but new ones? Really fine line.

[Anonymous]

Sure but all old friends.

[Anonymous]

Old friendships and new ones can thrive, ONLY if there is no underlying attraction/chemistry between both parties, i.e., either party MUST not find the other remotely attractive physically or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Not for me. Somehow it always degenerates.

[Anonymous]

I am close with my work husband. We travel together often and do lots of events after work. His wife is horribly annoying so we don't hang out as couples with our families much. My DH doesn't care and I don't think his wife cares either.

What is your issue though?

[Anonymous]

I haven't made any new friends in years, male or female.

[Anonymous]

Here's the distinction. While you don't have to have your spouses all hang out together, are you trying to hide your friendship from either of them? I have been friends with several married men, and the ones I didn't have to worry about were the ones who introduced me to their spouses. Everyone knows everyone. The ones who treated their spouse like a black hole almost always tried to get too "friendly".

Real life example. My car broke down near the house of my male work friend. He wasn't nearby, but he called his wife to come get me and then after we got the car sorted, we went to lunch together. This is a friendship with no hidden motives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the distinction. While you don't have to have your spouses all hang out together, are you trying to hide your friendship from either of them? I have been friends with several married men, and the ones I didn't have to worry about were the ones who introduced me to their spouses. Everyone knows everyone. The ones who treated their spouse like a black hole almost always tried to get too "friendly".

Real life example. My car broke down near the house of my male work friend. He wasn't nearby, but he called his wife to come get me and then after we got the car sorted, we went to lunch together. This is a friendship with no hidden motives.

Thanks PP. I think you hit the nail on the head. There's definitely a black hole there. I heard what I needed to hear.

[Anonymous]

I am just about to meet him for lunch. People refer to him as my work husband. We have met each other's spouses and they haven't raised any objections. There is absolutely nothing between us apart from friendship and enjoying hanging out together. I've known him for 7 years.