Famiy emails to ex BIL

[Anonymous]

My sister in law is in the process of divorcing her husband. They're being as amicable as is possible given the circumstances. However, both my parents in law continue to copy him on all our family emails. No one else emails the ex except for them. We usually hit reply all to these emails, but today when I had to respond, I deleted his name out of the response. Not only do I not like him, but I also gave my sister in law legal advice about their divorce. Thus I feel doubly uncomfortable emailing him.

What do I do? Was I justified in deleting his name out of the reply all? My SIL has actually filed for divorce even though it hasn't been finalized. They haven't lived together for more than a year. She claims she still loves him, but for a variety of very good reasons, she is finally calling it quits due to his actions in the past. One other thing- there is not a chance in hell that my in laws want my sister in law to get back together with her ex. I suspect they're just afraid of my sister in law's temper should they get back together.

[Anonymous]

Family not famiy. I hate this computer.

[Anonymous]

Do your parents realize they are still emailing him? Maybe they have a Family group and they forgot to take his email off? Why don't you ask them about it and see why they are still including him? What does your SIL say about it?

[Anonymous]

My in laws are not the types to "talk it out" at all. And my sister in law is the same way. I know, annoying. It is possible they have a "Family" group, which was my justification for not emailing ex BIL. My other justification was since they were in the midst of a legal proceeding, it is inappropriate for me to email him since he has retained counsel.

[Anonymous]

they are probably copying and pasting from old group letters or they have it saved in a group that way. They might not even realize it. Since they are your in-laws, you might just want to have your husband mention something to his parents along the lines of "hey you know the emails you are sending out still contain sister's ex" and then see what their response is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family not famiy. I hate this computer.

A good craftsman never blames her tools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are not the types to "talk it out" at all. And my sister in law is the same way. I know, annoying. It is possible they have a "Family" group, which was my justification for not emailing ex BIL. My other justification was since they were in the midst of a legal proceeding, it is inappropriate for me to email him since he has retained counsel.

Stop overthinking this so much. it isn't a big deal to send out an email that says "hey did you know ex BIL is part of this email chain?" It isn't talking it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family not famiy. I hate this computer.

A good craftsman never blames her tools.

Haha I never said I was a good at using a computer, especially this pos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws are not the types to "talk it out" at all. And my sister in law is the same way. I know, annoying. It is possible they have a "Family" group, which was my justification for not emailing ex BIL. My other justification was since they were in the midst of a legal proceeding, it is inappropriate for me to email him since he has retained counsel.

Stop overthinking this so much. it isn't a big deal to send out an email that says "hey did you know ex BIL is part of this email chain?" It isn't talking it out.

There is no way I could send an email like that. They are super WASPy. No way. Thanks for the advice though.

[Anonymous]

So reword it? You sound like a loony tune

[Anonymous]

PP, you sound like a total nutcase.

[Anonymous]

Also I've never heard anyone under 80 call someone a looney tune.

What part of "they don't want to address it" do you not understand? And I think I was very nice in all my previous statements. No need to start name calling. This is a place where people look for support. Go on the other forums at dcum if you want to call names and make people feel like shit.

If there is no answer to my question, that's no problem. I was hoping someone would know a better way. But if that's not the case, no problem. Don't call names, that's just pathetic.

[Anonymous]

I think it was totally fine for you to remove exBIL from the reply all. It's strange to keep including him.

I think it would be best for your husband to email back his parents and politely say "I'm not sure if you realize but your still emailing "Jim" about family get togeathers and events. Would you like me to show you know to remove him from your email address book? I'm sure he doesn't want to be bothered with the score of the kids last soccer game and the time of thanksgiving dinner"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it was totally fine for you to remove exBIL from the reply all. It's strange to keep including him.

I think it would be best for your husband to email back his parents and politely say "I'm not sure if you realize but your still emailing "Jim" about family get togeathers and events. Would you like me to show you know to remove him from your email address book? I'm sure he doesn't want to be bothered with the score of the kids last soccer game and the time of thanksgiving dinner"

she can't. They are too "waspy" and "don't like to talk about things"

[Anonymous]

So, OP wants to know what to do about the fact that her inlaws continue to include BIL in family group emails, but asking them if they realize that they are including him is totally out of the question because they are WASPy. Da fuck?

OP, you want advice but it can't involve talking to your inlaws? No, there is nothing you can do if you aren't willing or able to say, "Hey, Bob and Janice, I wasn't sure if you knew that Jim is still included on all your emails to the family."