"I'm so fat" NOT

[Anonymous]

Is there a polite way of getting someone who is obviously not overweight to stop saying this all the time?

I can't completely avoid this woman, and I'd rather not completely alienate her either, but the constant lament of how fat she is is incredibly irritating. She definitely likes the attention of others who say, "Oh, no, you're not."

It's hard to tune her out completely b/c she is the type of person who dominates every conversation mostly talking about herself and intermittently gossiping about someone else.

She's not a stick, has a had a couple of kids, works out and obviously takes pride in her appearance. She has a daughter, and I can't imagine what all the gratuitous references to this non-existant fatness is doing to her.

[Anonymous]

Maybe tell her to go to Weight Watchers or start giving her some tips on losing weight. If you don't contradict her description of herself (which she seems to be wanting) then maybe she'll stop.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her point blank that its annoying. Just tell her.

[Anonymous]

Well, I think you should play around and comment that her selection of pants was really unfortunate because it makes her ass look huge.

[Anonymous]

About what size is she? Maybe her idea of fat is very different from yours.

[Anonymous]

Not trying to stick up for this woman but just trying to see her perspective. She may truly think she is fat. I used to be the person commenting on my weight all the time when I very clearly did not have weight to lose...those were in my eating disorder days. Not saying she has an eating disorder, but she may have lower self esteem than what you think. Just because she takes pride in what she looks like doesn't mean she likes what she sees. Just trying to give you a new perspective because I've been on the other side of this before.

[Anonymous]

There's a woman at my daughter's preschool who does this. In her case I can only assume it's an eating disorder since she is excruciatingly thin. I just refuse to engage with the madness, but some days I just want to pull her aside and tell her that she should get help. Or at least stop inflicting her warped perspective on everyone around her, including my DD. She is very sweet but it's so screwed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About what size is she? Maybe her idea of fat is very different from yours.

Does it matter? I am fat, by anyone's definition. Would it be appropriate for me to constantly seel out validation and disrupt conversation by announcing that I am fat?

I think not.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think some people do this without realizing how often they are saying it. It's a self esteem thing.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when people are doing this, I just look at them with a question on my face and ask, "Are you okay? I've noticed that whatever the topic of conversation is, you make the comment "I'm so fat." It happens almost every time. Are you okay?"

[Anonymous]

Don't engage. Hopefully she will get the hint that it is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't engage. Hopefully she will get the hint that it is annoying.

This. I have run into similar personalities. I always think to myself how cray cray they come off. Its like if your kept insisting your dog was a cat and I was suppose to keep correcting you over and over. I dont play those games, so I just smile and change the subject...or disengage completely.

[Anonymous]

Don't respond at all. Start a new subject. People like that are just fishing for compliments

[Anonymous]

Say "Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it..."

[Anonymous]

Don't engage on the fact of the matter. Just say, "Hey, don't call yourself names." or "Don't put yourself down like that."

Then, the next time she does it say, "You're calling yourself names again."

The third time, just look at her and say nothing.