Have married parents had (or are they having a) "successful" affairs with other married Parents?

[Anonymous]

I was just wondering if this ever works.

[Anonymous]

"successful" meaning not getting caught?

[Anonymous]

Focusing on fixing your marriage and not on meddling in someone elses.

Yes sometimes it "works". And sometimes the spouse gets a gun and shoots the lover, their spouse, and everyone around.

Get your head out of the gutter and back into your family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focusing on fixing your marriage and not on meddling in someone elses.

Yes sometimes it "works". And sometimes the spouse gets a gun and shoots the lover, their spouse, and everyone around.

Get your head out of the gutter and back into your family life.

Ok.. I'll bite.. How can someone fix their marriage? And do you think that someone having an affair cannot be involved in their family life of their kids?

[Anonymous]

poster you are gross

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by successful? My husband had an affair with a married mom of two - a coworker. Did they get fired, get an STD, have a baby he did not plan, or lose their marriage over it? No. In that sense I guess it was a success.

Did it all come out and did both their spouses find out? And at least for my husband, his parents, sister (all of whom he is very close to) find out and have to deal with it? Yes. Did he end up convulsing in sobs on our basement floor the night it all came out to me? Yes. So in that sense, not a success.

But could have been worse. They didn't end up together, but I don't think that was the point....it was more about escaping a lot of unmanaged and undealt with frustration. While he almost lost everything (we separated for almost a year, and I suppose lucky that the kids were very young and my oldest has only vague memories of that, and is not old enough to have realized that was weird...yet), it ended up leading us to a stronger marriage, he resolved a lot of issues with his father who took the whole thing very hard (he had an affair too), and definitely made me a stronger person and forced us both to let go of a lot of crap. So in that sense it was a success....but I don't think that was you meant OP.

It is very hard to keep control in an affair. You are dealing with a lot of different people's emotions (the two affair partners, and likely their spouses because even if they don't know, I promise you they suspect at some point) and emotions are unstable and unpredictable.

[Anonymous]

Moral and commitment issues aside the pure logistics of such an arrangement are utterly overwhelming to me.

[Anonymous]

You both have something to lose/at risk (unlike dating a single person) so it can actually work better in that way. Less of that "so when will they leave their spouse for me?" hopes.

[Anonymous]

A "successful" affair sounds like an oxymoron to me.

[Anonymous]

How can the word success and an adulterous affair be in the same sentence?

[Anonymous]

Sure it works. You both understand the limitations of the relationship. It gives you the connection your spouse is not interested or neglects to give you.

[Anonymous]

Successful affair is like a successful addiction - it means keeping it hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure it works. You both understand the limitations of the relationship. It gives you the connection your spouse is not interested or neglects to give you.

You mean, it takes away the connection from your spouse that YOU are not interested in giving to or are neglecting to give to your spouse.

Fixed that for you. You have the cause and effect wrong. Bad marriages don't cause affairs, but affairs cause bad marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by successful? My husband had an affair with a married mom of two - a coworker. Did they get fired, get an STD, have a baby he did not plan, or lose their marriage over it? No. In that sense I guess it was a success.

Did it all come out and did both their spouses find out? And at least for my husband, his parents, sister (all of whom he is very close to) find out and have to deal with it? Yes. Did he end up convulsing in sobs on our basement floor the night it all came out to me? Yes. So in that sense, not a success.

But could have been worse. They didn't end up together, but I don't think that was the point....it was more about escaping a lot of unmanaged and undealt with frustration. While he almost lost everything (we separated for almost a year, and I suppose lucky that the kids were very young and my oldest has only vague memories of that, and is not old enough to have realized that was weird...yet), it ended up leading us to a stronger marriage, he resolved a lot of issues with his father who took the whole thing very hard (he had an affair too), and definitely made me a stronger person and forced us both to let go of a lot of crap. So in that sense it was a success....but I don't think that was you meant OP.

It is very hard to keep control in an affair. You are dealing with a lot of different people's emotions (the two affair partners, and likely their spouses because even if they don't know, I promise you they suspect at some point) and emotions are unstable and unpredictable.

How long did it take before you wanted to fuck this guy again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering if this ever works.

Yes it does. I had a successful affair for 8 years. The affair just ran out of steam.