MIL talks and ask questions incessantly
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Anonymous
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My MIL just can't stop talking. When she is around there she has to talk nonstop and she asks questions repeatedly. Even very mundane topics tend to drag out forever...but of course, I guess they have to because she has to fill all waking hours with chatter about something.
Does anyone else have a MIL like this? How do you handle it? I am not used to being around that and it is so draining and exhausting. |
Anonymous
| my MIL is very nice and visit only about once or twice a year. she does talk a lot, eve more than me, which is something. the thing I hate is that once in a while I need 5 minutes on my own, typically when I have breakfast, just me, my coffee, and the newspaper. she comes, sees that I am reading and says "I see you are busy so I am not going to disturb you, just I would like to mention that fantastic sale that is going to be there tomorrow and maybe we could go and what do you think and blah blah blah". she did that even when I was teleworking from home and clearly busy. I just started taking my coffee ans newspaper to the bathroom. I locked myself there pretending I need to go and have my 5 minutes of piece...as I said she is a very nice person, so I can survive her talking |
Anonymous
| Op it sounds like anxiety. Two people I know who sound like your mom and fill all empty space with talk and say the same thing repeatedly struggle with anxiety. |
Anonymous
| I have a MIL like that who talks for the sake of talking. She's not lonely or stupid, just doesn't realize that her endless and pointless commentary is annoying. I haven't figured out how to politely ignore, my DH completely ignores her (worse for me because then she has to repeat things for him). I'm quite the chatterbox myself, but I don't point out every car's state license plate and things like that. |
Anonymous
Do you mean she's constantly asking questions or that she often asks the same questions repeatedly? Have you known her for a long time and she's always been this way or might this be new or significantly more noticeable lately? Repeating oneself can be a sign of early dementia. I noticed this about my MIL when I first met her. Family members who lived near her and saw her frequently did not start to suspect dementia/Alzheimer's until a couple of years later. |
Anonymous
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22:01 i could see that. Of course, it doesn't help with MY anxiety!
22:09 My husband is the same way and so are his siblings and his father. I can't really blame them, after decades of having someone never stop talking I would just zone it out too. I am just not as used to it as they are. Its just so much chatter (and its always her talking about herself, unless its someones gossip, of course) After she leaves, I find myself snapping if my husband asks me simple questions because I am so sick of being talked to and questioned! I thought I would get used to it but I find I am having less and less patience with it. 22:22 I don't think it's early dementia/Alzheimer's. I have known her a long time but if she is repeating a question its more along the lines of talking her thought process out loud rather than not remembering. |
Anonymous
Yes, this could be it. She could be socially awkward or uncomfortable. My mother is like this, unfortunately even with me, and it just drives me bonkers. She can literally talk to me for half an hour about her new swiffer mop -and on the other hand, shows no interest in her grandchildren or my pregnancy. I sometimes wonder if she has Aspergers. Her whole side of the family is like that, talk talk talk over each other, nobody listening to anybody else, and it's always mundane topics. I have no good solution, I just have to limit how often I interact with her because the stress for me just isn't worth it. |
Anonymous
| my mom does this. She was just here visiting for two days and it was exhausting. the constant chatter, asking questions but not really stopping to hear the answers, repeating stories over and over again is so stressful. She is actually much like my four year old twins, except she is an adult. She is definitely anxious, but completely unaware of it! I just try to grin and bear it. any attempt to give feedback has been misunderstood and it's hurt her so I don't try anymore. |
Anonymous
| I once dated someone with a mom like that. I found it much easier to be around her when there were more people n the room to absorb her chatter and nervous energy. I would take breaks (go exercise, send her to movie with kids etc) and also if you have any extended family around, invite them. Over a lot to help absorb the energy. |
Anonymous
| Is your husband named Jeff or Paul? We have the same MIL. |
Anonymous
Can your MIL baby sit my 2.5 year old? They will be a match made in heaven and you and I both win 
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Anonymous
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10:30 we could be talking about the same woman!! except she wasn't with my SIL recently.
14:33 not related but twins separated at birth? 15:07 wouldn't that be so nice? |
Anonymous
| My MIL is exactly like that! I find her very draining. Like PP mentioned, my DH and FIL just tune her out. I've started trying to do the same. But I'm not sure it's working. |
Anonymous
| Well, OP, look on the bright side... there are so many malicious, horrible MILs that this doesn't seem *too* bad. My own MIL is obese and mentally ill but fairly benign. I'm certainly not pleased about it but when I read some of the other threads on this site about MILs from Hell I feel very thankful. |
Anonymous
| I agree with PP, count your blessings. Just zone out too. |