Verbal Agreement re: Swinging and BDSM
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Anonymous
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Can DH accuse me of adultery when we have had a verbal agreement on living completely separate lives under same roof? He's into swinging and I'm not but decided to explore BDSM.
We are trying to separate/divorce in VA and now he's taking this against me to gain custody. He now says that I've been unfaithful to him probably because he doesn't go out as much as I do and because I get home around 2:00-3:00 am when he's babysitting. I pray every night so he can find a harem... I do. He said he was going to put the agreement in writing. It took him two years to write something completely different. Alternative medicine and alternative lifestyle are the two biggest issues here. Can someone also please recommend me a good lawyer that doesn't charge $500+ an hour? Thank you! |
Anonymous
| Your poor child. |
Anonymous
| Agree. I feel so bad for the kids. |
Anonymous
Grosses, isn't swinging a couples thing and single swinging is cheating
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Anonymous
| If it was just a verbal agreement, he'll just deny it and yes, accuse you of adultery. I'm sorry for you, OP. It sounds like you've been way too trusting and naive and he probably had this in mind all along. Good luck. I hope someone can give you some good advice, but I think most people, with their Puritanical ideas of marriage in America, will gasp and shudder and judge. |
Anonymous
| You gonna get and spread the aids |
Anonymous
| Well, hire a private detective, what are waiting for? |
Anonymous
| *you* |
Anonymous
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DH can "accuse" you of anything he damn well pleases. For the record, if you slept with someone other than your husband, you ARE guilty of adultery.
If I were either of you, I'd strongly consider refraining from airing your dirty, nasty, crusty, probably contagious laundry in divorce proceedings. It will make both of you look bad, not one of you look better than the other. If you choose tongi down this path in a custody battle, it could be the state that ends up with your kids. |
Anonymous
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Can't you also accuse him of adultery? Since he is into swinging doesn't that mean he had also had sex with another women?
Also, stop bragging that you are out late while he is babysitting. It doesn't make you sound cool and popular. It makes you sound like a selfish idiot. |
Anonymous
| If you started charging your customers you'd be able to afford a $500 per hour attorney. |
Anonymous
Oh my God!!!!! People get the sticks of your arses. People have sex. They do it : missionary, doggy, on top, on bottom, in the anus,in the mouth, with more than one person, sometimes alone, with people of the same sex, with people of a different race. Sex. Sex. Sex. It is fun and it is good so long as all involved agree to participate. Ugh. Hon, I can't recommend a good lawyer, but if you are anywhere in DMV (NoVa) no judge is going to give two shits about his adultery claim. Just in case get a little on him so even if a judge lost their damn mind and tried something he'd be faced with two "evil" but sexy parents to award he kids to. |
Anonymous
| You people are unreal. Her husband agreed to this so what's with the sticks up all your butts? Op you might have better luck in the explicit forum, there are less bitter sexless people there. |
Anonymous
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As long as you weren't having guys over with your kids under the same roof, and you can establish that (1) you stopped having sexy time with your husband and (2) he was also having sexy time with other women, you should be ok.
Adultery packs more of a punch if I assume you're splitting finances, have a witness lined up, etc. Is he doing accusing you of adultery to avoid paying you maintenance? He may also be mad at you going out more than him and/or coming home at 3am (do you tell him you'll be home at midnight or anything?) It may not strictly be about the sex, you could be going to the Kennedy Center and he'd be mad about it (does that make sense?) Hopefully he didn't make the verbal agreement only to drag you into his trap. |
Anonymous
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Adultery packs more of a punch if it's out of the blue and not after you've drawn up some separation paperwork, done some of the legwork involved.
This? I can't see judge, especially in Northern VA, giving a flying fart. |