I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

THANK YOU! Every year Emory is somehow the top 20 safety, just for their DC's to get rejected in late March. EVERY YEAR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

THANK YOU! Every year Emory is somehow the top 20 safety, just for their DC's to get rejected in late March. EVERY YEAR.

NP. Emory is never anyone's safety - that is a clear mistake that some people make, perhaps more prevalent among posters at DCUM than elsewhere on the internet. Its acceptance rate has long been in reach-for-all territory. Test optional policies and increased apps this particular year led to another drop in rate.

Acceptance rate for class of 2024, 18%

Acceptance rate for class of 2025, 13%

https://www.collegekickstart.com/blog/item/class-of-2025-admission-results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

THANK YOU! Every year Emory is somehow the top 20 safety, just for their DC's to get rejected in late March. EVERY YEAR.

NP. Emory is never anyone's safety - that is a clear mistake that some people make, perhaps more prevalent among posters at DCUM than elsewhere on the internet. Its acceptance rate has long been in reach-for-all territory. Test optional policies and increased apps this particular year led to another drop in rate.

Acceptance rate for class of 2024, 18%

Acceptance rate for class of 2025, 13%

OP didn’t say Emory was a safety.
OP also didn’t say her kid didn’t get into any colleges. He got into one.

PPs who say this year is just like every other are high. This year is not like every other. Last year kids deferred, leaving fewer spots for this year. It’s the first time in history ALL schools said people don’t have to submit standardized scores. We all know there is grade inflation and kids who wouldn’t otherwise have great GPAs suddenly have very good GPAs.

This is provably a good thing got society. But for the kid like OPs, make no mistake. It’s harder. As much as he is probably a nice, hardworking kids with good stats, he is in the same large pool. He is probably getting rejected from schools who think he won’t go to. Then he got waitlisted at others he might have gotten into any other year because he is up against so many other kids who normally wouldn’t apply. To a school like Wash U, Vanderbilt or Emory he probablh seems like a dime a dozen (don’t take offense OP). So here he is, rejected by schools who assume he is too good to want to go to, and rejected/waitlisted by schools he would go to but he is up against a crapload of good or interesting candidates. It is not the same as any other year. Colgate up 100% in applications? Harvard up over 50%?

He would not be in this boat if he had applied to his parent’s “no name” school, but that isn’t what he is wanted. It’s bad luck bad timing for the kid, and nothing else. Stop bashing or minimizing. It sucks for a kid like that to have no choices. Is it the end of the world? No. But stop telling the parent and kid to just get over it. It rightly stings, and bad.

-parent in a similar situation but not quite as bad

[Anonymous]

PS we are in a better situation because my child applied for school in my home country and he has that as a good option. I highly encourage children with parents from another country to consider this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

THANK YOU! Every year Emory is somehow the top 20 safety, just for their DC's to get rejected in late March. EVERY YEAR.

NP. Emory is never anyone's safety - that is a clear mistake that some people make, perhaps more prevalent among posters at DCUM than elsewhere on the internet. Its acceptance rate has long been in reach-for-all territory. Test optional policies and increased apps this particular year led to another drop in rate.

Acceptance rate for class of 2024, 18%

Acceptance rate for class of 2025, 13%

OP didn’t say Emory was a safety.
OP also didn’t say her kid didn’t get into any colleges. He got into one.

PPs who say this year is just like every other are high. This year is not like every other. Last year kids deferred, leaving fewer spots for this year. It’s the first time in history ALL schools said people don’t have to submit standardized scores. We all know there is grade inflation and kids who wouldn’t otherwise have great GPAs suddenly have very good GPAs.

This is provably a good thing got society. But for the kid like OPs, make no mistake. It’s harder. As much as he is probably a nice, hardworking kids with good stats, he is in the same large pool. He is probably getting rejected from schools who think he won’t go to. Then he got waitlisted at others he might have gotten into any other year because he is up against so many other kids who normally wouldn’t apply. To a school like Wash U, Vanderbilt or Emory he probablh seems like a dime a dozen (don’t take offense OP). So here he is, rejected by schools who assume he is too good to want to go to, and rejected/waitlisted by schools he would go to but he is up against a crapload of good or interesting candidates. It is not the same as any other year. Colgate up 100% in applications? Harvard up over 50%?

He would not be in this boat if he had applied to his parent’s “no name” school, but that isn’t what he is wanted. It’s bad luck bad timing for the kid, and nothing else. Stop bashing or minimizing. It sucks for a kid like that to have no choices. Is it the end of the world? No. But stop telling the parent and kid to just get over it. It rightly stings, and bad.

-parent in a similar situation but not quite as bad

PP. I was not responding to OP, I was responding to some other PPs to demonstrate that it is indeed a different year, as evidenced by big increases in apps and correspondingly big drops in acceptance rates. Am also parent of a senior who applied with good scores and is seeing some worse-than-expected results thanks to test optional increases in apps. (Note for others, I am not trying to open the test optional can of worms, as in many cases the test-optional students will perform fine, just that admission is now just plain harder, by the numbers.) It's not the end of the world, just that hindsight will be 20/20 on the list.

Unfortunately for juniors, this circus - difficulty in predicting where one should apply and what one's chances are - will continue into next year's admission season as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, My experience: I have two in college - a sophomore and a senior. Both went to competitive privates. One very high stats, the other a recruited athlete. Both chose large state schools that are "likelys" for most students. (Not doing their sport). They are happy and getting a good education at a fraction of the price. No one in my peer group is "impressed" and I couldn't care less. I have to confess that I do drop that son turned down a top 10 school only if someone is being obnoxious
We just need to move far away from the prestige factor.

I'm going to chime in with a similar one. DS went to a top 5 boarding school. He now goes to a Big Ten (I mean the athletic conference, not a DCUM Top 10) university. By choice. He loves it. He's getting a really good education in his major. It's not always necessary to go to the Ivy route. I doubt my friends are "impressed". They don't need to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just want to say how sorry I am and empathize with you. I am watching my dtr and her friend group go thru this as well. Kids I’ve known for years, who I would place bets on, kids whose moral fabric I’ve seen tested, kids who support one another, kids who have fantastic stats - most are struggling to get offers they can 1. get really excited for, 2. have the program they want, and 3. are in line with what the family can afford. I’ve never been so vested in what is happening with my kids’ peers. Covid robbed them of a year and a half of their best high school experiences, and now this. They will come thru it, but it is heartbreaking to watch.

This is OP, and thank you. I know this is not about me at all but it is hard watching my son go through it. And definitely he is not an Ivy-or-bust kind of kid. He kept adjusting his expectations as the rejections and waitlists rolled in, until he just got to a place where he couldn't do it anymore, getting validation from only the safety (again it is a true safety for most kids, they have a very high acceptance rate).

I recognize people have so many challenges, too, as does he. He knows there must be kids who have gotten in nowhere. He also feels bad for his friends who were so excited to leave for college last year and ended up spending their first year of college stuck in their old bedrooms. He volunteers for an organization that helps seniors, and he sees how tough it is for them to be alone during the pandemic. But it still hurts him, and hurts me as an extension.

I know all your words of wisdom are right (he will find his people wherever he goes; he will forget about all this one day and be fine; he could always transfer; a waitlist school might come through). It does help to hear what others are going through even through the anonymous board. I did not want to talk about this with other parents because they have their own challenges. My son talks to some of his friends about it. That helps some, at least in terms of distracting and getting him to play games online with them and such. I think mostly it doesn't help too much because he feels they are in a better position. He is the only one of his friend group who has one acceptance.

He gets frustrated and also feels bad that he doesn't even have legacy because one of us went to a non-name small school and the other to a school in a different country. So he hears his friends with double legacy or parents and grandparents and feels like he is at a disadvantage sometimes. He will mature and grow out of this but I understand why this might frustrate him. He is not mean about it to us. He is a sensitive kid but he has mentioned it as maybe that would have helped him get in somewhere other than the safety. He really did not want a small rural school so he didn't apply to the one legacy school.

People asked about major and whether that is the problem. Maybe it is. He said undeclared. He has a strong STEM background but is also very solid in the humanities. He took two languages, though to be honest one is in his parent's native tongue so it wasn't as hard as the other language to learn. He didn't do it to get an easy A, he would like to one day perhaps live abroad. He does not know what he wants to do and we wanted him to do what he wanted and feel like he has to freedom to say he just doesn't know at this point. His counselor said that was okay.

I guess we can go round and round about what went wrong, or what was wrong with his application. We are trying to think ahead and will wait to hear what his counselor says about the waitlist and we will also inquire as to "working it." Between you and me the waitlists do seem like soft rejections and there are so many children on them that it seems unlikely so we don't want to be too enthusiastic about them and get his hopes up just to be disappointed again. We will do whatever we can but at the same time I think he has to be prepared to either take a gap year (which he doesn't seem too interested in) or just come to terms with going to the safety and learning to be okay with it.

Someone asked, "didn't he love the safety, kids should be happy with their safeties too." No he did not love this one. His counselor said, "you need another school on your list that we can be pretty certain you will get in for sure. I recommend University X." And he went with it because she recommended it. He picked two safeties he liked but of course the nature of the universe would have him get in only the university he added on at the end.

I don't think he was cocky about getting into schools but more realistic based on his stats and such. The what is realistic in perhaps other years does't seem to be this year. At least for this kid.

Hi OP,

You mention that you or your spouse are from another country. What about having your son attend university there? Does he speak the language well enough? I'm German, and one of my kids decided to do that rather than attend school here. Cheaper for us, and several of the universities are very highly ranked. Just wondering if that's an option, even if only for a gap year?

Hope everything works out.

[Anonymous]

I'm 13:58 and just reading your note that PP copied above. I wonder if your DC came off as "undecided," whereas my DS couched his indecision as "I love so many disparate things, so I'm excited to go to your school and figure out how to combine my interests." I would change the PR of it through the counselor.

[Anonymous]

Good luck with outreach, OP. It is hard for your son, but I have confident that the right school will come along as you go through the process.

If I had my son at a private school and the counselor wasn’t calling the schools RIGHT NOW, I would be plenty pissed. My DC is at a public school, so I have much lower expectations,
given the number of students the college counselor has to deal with, but I think even they will reach out in this situation.

[Anonymous]

So many comments expecting the college counselor to call admissions officers and fix this problem. But private schools only exercise that power for the kids/ families they like and prioritize (big donors, star athletes, families with younger kids still at the school, children of faculty, etc.). If you're not one of the chosen ones, the school won't help you-- and might actively throw you under the bus to help other kids get in (which I'd be willing to bet happened to OP's kid).

-someone who went to private school, got thrown under the bus by college counseling, and transferred way up after a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many comments expecting the college counselor to call admissions officers and fix this problem. But private schools only exercise that power for the kids/ families they like and prioritize (big donors, star athletes, families with younger kids still at the school, children of faculty, etc.). If you're not one of the chosen ones, the school won't help you-- and might actively throw you under the bus to help other kids get in (which I'd be willing to bet happened to OP's kid).

-someone who went to private school, got thrown under the bus by college counseling, and transferred way up after a year

Sooooooo they won’t help the nice kid who did well in school, caused no trouble, etc.? Wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

THANK YOU! Every year Emory is somehow the top 20 safety, just for their DC's to get rejected in late March. EVERY YEAR.

NP. Emory is never anyone's safety - that is a clear mistake that some people make, perhaps more prevalent among posters at DCUM than elsewhere on the internet. Its acceptance rate has long been in reach-for-all territory. Test optional policies and increased apps this particular year led to another drop in rate.

Acceptance rate for class of 2024, 18%

Acceptance rate for class of 2025, 13%

https://www.collegekickstart.com/blog/item/class-of-2025-admission-results

Well that is the point ... people pick the wrong likely.

Even UFLA, GA, Clemson and South Carolina are not somebody’s safety/likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorrt, OP. It’s been a train wreck if a year..

I agree OP. My DD who only got one B in four years of HS, got rejected at all the top schools she applied to. Her counselors told her not to apply to any safeties because she didn't need them (small school, really dumb counselors, IMHO). She got accepted at our state U and a few other mid-level SLACs, but no Ivies, no reaches. She's a great kid, with many accomplishments, but this is a terrible, terrible year to apply to college. She's going to do a gap year becasue she doesn't want to go to any of the schools she got into. She has a gap year job offer, so she's going to take that. Not a career job, but she'll make some money and wait for better days ahead. It sucks OP, it really does. Only weakness in her application I see is that she got a 1480 on her SAT, but she only took it once. She hates standardized tests, and I told her if she hit 1450, that was good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many comments expecting the college counselor to call admissions officers and fix this problem. But private schools only exercise that power for the kids/ families they like and prioritize (big donors, star athletes, families with younger kids still at the school, children of faculty, etc.). If you're not one of the chosen ones, the school won't help you-- and might actively throw you under the bus to help other kids get in (which I'd be willing to bet happened to OP's kid).

-someone who went to private school, got thrown under the bus by college counseling, and transferred way up after a year

Sooooooo they won’t help the nice kid who did well in school, caused no trouble, etc.? Wonderful.

This person has no clue what they are talking about.

In no universe do counselors talk to admins about athletes and big donors. Could you imagine ... coach Larlo should my HS counselor call you ... wtf! No! Hey <fill in blank of big donor> do you want me to call the university for you or will you just talk to them at golf tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorrt, OP. It’s been a train wreck if a year..

I agree OP. My DD who only got one B in four years of HS, got rejected at all the top schools she applied to. Her counselors told her not to apply to any safeties because she didn't need them (small school, really dumb counselors, IMHO). She got accepted at our state U and a few other mid-level SLACs, but no Ivies, no reaches. She's a great kid, with many accomplishments, but this is a terrible, terrible year to apply to college. She's going to do a gap year becasue she doesn't want to go to any of the schools she got into. She has a gap year job offer, so she's going to take that. Not a career job, but she'll make some money and wait for better days ahead. It sucks OP, it really does. Only weakness in her application I see is that she got a 1480 on her SAT, but she only took it once. She hates standardized tests, and I told her if she hit 1450, that was good enough.

This is no different than any other year.