No children allowed at family members wedding.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m fine with someone wanting a “no kids” wedding as long as the bride/groom/extended family are cool with this being the reason I don’t attend. I will not volunteer the reason, but would answer honestly if asked and my MIL would definitely ask. But it would be irrational for people to have their feelings hurt over our non-attendance.

If you're going to say no to a wedding invite simply because they didn't invite your children (without even considering a way that you could make this work), then I doubt anyone will miss your presence anyway. I know I wouldn't.

If you know that no kids would be a deal breaker for me, why do invite me? If you don't know, again, why do you invite me? Gift grab?

Because if you're the kind of person to always so no to a non-child wedding invitation, then you're also the kind of person who would tell everyone that you weren't invited (even though you wouldn't have gone anyway). So if you had made your no-kid-no-wedding stance clear, they probably invited you because they figured it would be less annoying to listen to you complain that you got invited to a no-kid wedding than to hear you bitch about how you weren't invited at all. And if they didn't know, then they probably invited you because they thought maybe you'd be willing to consider attending their wedding even if you couldn't bring your kids, like most nice, normal people would.

Nope, not paying an overnight/weekend rate to a nanny to attend your out-of-town kid-free wedding. I’m fine declining and mailing you a gift. As I said earlier, I’m not offended you didn’t invite them. The real question is WHY does this upset you so much if I decline?!? It’s really NBD.

Geez, you sure have a negative attitude towards weddings. If it's such a huge imposition on you why not just elope?

I did elope, actually. And I don't have a negative attitude towards weddings at all - I'm the kind of person who would try really hard to attend a wedding even if my children weren't invited because I believe in being there for my friends and family. It's all the "I refuse to go without my children" people that are the ones with the attitudes.

Well, for some of us, arranging care is a huge financial and logistical challenge if it’s even possible at all. Not all of us have huge bank accounts or healthy, local grandparents at the ready. But as you so kindly said, you won’t miss me anyway, so I’ll save myself the trouble.

The drama on here is amazing. It's like you live in a third-world country where you don't know anyone. Or you just enjoy walking around like a martyr who never gets a minute away from your kids because you just can't. It is not impossible to find child care. And, shocker, you don't even need a huge bank account or available grandparents. But keep singing your song. And know that people just roll their eyes at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a kid-free wedding.

I am a teacher.

I work with kids.
Telling them they could not be part of such a big event would have been hard.
I wanted the day off.

The few kids that were really part of my life, I found a way to include in the wedding party.

Now that we have kids, when there are out of town events, we decide which spouse is a closer friend to that person and they go alone.
This is a temporary stage in your life, having small kids, and other people's milestones will overlap your life.

Work it out, or skip it.

I’m fine with this. But why are all the brides getting all butt-hurt over this?

[Anonymous]

Not only stay home, but permanently cut all communication with them.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe there's 22 pages on this! It's perfectly acceptable to have a kid free wedding. It's also perfectly acceptable to not attend because childcare would make attending a wedding difficult. My goodness, how do you people function?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a kid-free wedding.

I am a teacher.

I work with kids.
Telling them they could not be part of such a big event would have been hard.
I wanted the day off.

The few kids that were really part of my life, I found a way to include in the wedding party.

Now that we have kids, when there are out of town events, we decide which spouse is a closer friend to that person and they go alone.
This is a temporary stage in your life, having small kids, and other people's milestones will overlap your life.

Work it out, or skip it.

I’m fine with this. But why are all the brides getting all butt-hurt over this?

I’d say fewer brides, than parents, are getting “butt hurt” (which is an extraordinarily stupid phrase).

[Anonymous]

We have a wedding like this this weekend. We opted out. They certainly can have whatever wedding they want but its a PITA for us so we wont be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a kid-free wedding.

I am a teacher.

I work with kids.
Telling them they could not be part of such a big event would have been hard.
I wanted the day off.

The few kids that were really part of my life, I found a way to include in the wedding party.

Now that we have kids, when there are out of town events, we decide which spouse is a closer friend to that person and they go alone.
This is a temporary stage in your life, having small kids, and other people's milestones will overlap your life.

Work it out, or skip it.

I’m fine with this. But why are all the brides getting all butt-hurt over this?

I’d say fewer brides, than parents, are getting “butt hurt” (which is an extraordinarily stupid phrase).

It’s more likely the brides parents, who complain to other older relatives, whose adult children are not attending. We got crap from DH’s mom for not wanting to attend an 8pm wedding in Milwaukee (and our kids were even invited!) I highly doubt the bride cared, but gosh did her mother, DH’s aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there's 22 pages on this! It's perfectly acceptable to have a kid free wedding. It's also perfectly acceptable to not attend because childcare would make attending a wedding difficult. My goodness, how do you people function?

You are helping to make to page 23

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe there's 22 pages on this! It's perfectly acceptable to have a kid free wedding. It's also perfectly acceptable to not attend because childcare would make attending a wedding difficult. My goodness, how do you people function?

I know right? RSVP "no" and don't go rather than complain that their expectation of what a wedding should be (one big ole family reunion, costs be d@mned) is not being met.

[Anonymous]

Hey just be happy they told you ahead of time.

Signed,
Sister of the groom who was told once we got there that they changed their minds about kids at the wedding

[Anonymous]

NP. Family member is getting married in a city we’ve never visited, where we know no one.

I learned through another family member that no kids were allowed. We would have to leave our toddlers at a hotel, with a stranger (can’t get sitter recommendations if you don’t know anyone there), while we were elsewhere.

We declined the invitation and now everyone is pissed at us. We’re unsupportive. This isn’t fair, right? They’re within their rights to ban kids, but we couldn’t work out the childcare and so can’t go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Family member is getting married in a city we’ve never visited, where we know no one.

I learned through another family member that no kids were allowed. We would have to leave our toddlers at a hotel, with a stranger (can’t get sitter recommendations if you don’t know anyone there), while we were elsewhere.

We declined the invitation and now everyone is pissed at us. We’re unsupportive. This isn’t fair, right? They’re within their rights to ban kids, but we couldn’t work out the childcare and so can’t go

Let them be pissed. Attending doesn't work for you. Weddings aren't mandatory attendance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Family member is getting married in a city we’ve never visited, where we know no one.

I learned through another family member that no kids were allowed. We would have to leave our toddlers at a hotel, with a stranger (can’t get sitter recommendations if you don’t know anyone there), while we were elsewhere.

We declined the invitation and now everyone is pissed at us. We’re unsupportive. This isn’t fair, right? They’re within their rights to ban kids, but we couldn’t work out the childcare and so can’t go

Everyone will get over it.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people think their wedding is more important to potential guests than it is.

Go, don't go. The bride and groom will eventually get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey just be happy they told you ahead of time.

Signed,
Sister of the groom who was told once we got there that they changed their minds about kids at the wedding

I would have left the proceedings immediately.