Dirty secret about an industry that you have worked in?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Give me a break with the daycare stories. The teachers at our center send their own kids there. Explain that?

+1. Our center director and many of the teachers send their kids to our center. I check on the video feed often and have never once seen teachers eating the kids' food, hitting, falling down drunk on the playground, etc.

Same - and I drop in unannounced all the time, as do other parents. Zero issues.

You are kidding yourself. Staff know when parents are in the facility. There are often code words used. "Elvis is in the building" was used whenever a parent was unexpectedly on-site at my last center. I worked with a teacher who would put her long coat over kids and pretend to be hugging them. She was pinching their little ears. Another teacher took kids in the bathrooms out the camera site and smacked them on the head with their shoes if they took them off. These were degreed teachers in accredited centers. Yes I reported.

It would take me hours to list all the scary stuff I saw in even the "best centers". There are some great teachers out there. But there are also some awful ones. Low pay plus the stress of dealing with young children and long hours with few breaks creates a less than ideal environment.

Whatever.

I think it's hilarious at people don't believe these stories. Why would PPs lie about this crap? Nobody is trying to scare anyone off from daycare, but this does exist.

I think there are nannies from the nanny forum who are pretty invested in scare stories. My kids are much older and I did all variants of childcare when they were younger so don't really have a horse in this race, but this is a pattern I've seen on DCUM.

Good point.

+1. DCUM is heavily populated by nannies. I don't trust a lot of what I read. Including the salaries, benefits and how bad daycares are. It doesn't mesh with my own personal experience or from what my friends/relatives say.

I would definitely tell myself the same thing if my kids lived at daycare. So heartbreaking. How would you like to spend 10 hours a day in the same room?

When I worked in pre-school you'd be surprised at how many would leave their kids in daycare 10-12 hours a day. It was very sad.

How could two parents working full time with commutes use less than 10 hours of childcare a day? You know, the kids turn out fine. Mine are way beyond the childcare years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I am no longer a doula but was an active one for over 10 years. The blatant lies that OB Nurses and Doctors tell mothers are terrible. Women are taken advantage of every single day and damaged and sometimes don't even know it for years after a birth. Choose your provider and birth place carefully!

Like what? As a doula, did you tell the woman they were being lied to?

We speak about the risks prior to labor and there is only so much a doula can do if the mother/partner are bullied into procedures or interventions that were not medically necessary or ended up causing more interventions. I cannot speak for the mother, I support her choices. When an intervention is suggested, I try to give my clients a review of pros and cons but it's up to them. Panic sometimes sets in and Obs know how to manipulate. The majority of the births I supported went well but there are a few that haunt me. Also, what I see is sometimes
different than what the mother experiences. If she feels good about her birth but I have seen her Ob do something damaging to her IMO, I am not going to ruin her memory of her experience. If she does not feel great about it and asks me, I might offer my obeservations and notes.

I have attended over 200 births, question everything your medical provider does and unless it's medically necessary, don't induce.

As a nurse, I will second this. Question everything! Do not just take your doctors word at face value- this is your life or your loved ones. I cannot tell you how many borderline dangerous orders I've had to follow up on or to prompt the doctor to order meds/tests that were vital for the patient's safety.

+1000 to the "question everything" advice.

ICU RN here. I'm surprised there weren't more healthcare-related secrets in this thread.

- Never, ever put anything you care about on the floor when you visit someone in the hospital. It's often where soiled linens end up temporarily when patients are bathed, and bodily fluids frequently leak onto the floor.
- A seasoned ICU nurse often is more knowledgeable and realistic than your average ICU intern (especially a medicine intern).
- Housekeeping and dietary in the hospital are total jokes. Patients get upset with nurses over their food or how their room looks and nurses have to go to great lengths to communicate with ancillary staff that don't GAF about patients or doing their job to try to make it right.
- Nurses want you to be comfortable, but sometimes patients take the whole "patient first" mantra too far. We'll get you some ice or fluff your pillow after we suction a patient who can't breathe or titrate vasoactive medication on a patient with a low blood pressure. Your priority isn't necessarily ours.
- Surgeons (especially cardiac/vascular surgeons) will "try everything" on you or your loved one, even when it's painfully evident that recovery of meaningful quality-of-life is next to medically impossible. Why? When their patients die within x amount of days of a major surgery, it hurts their bottom line in terms of reimbursement and quality measures.
- In that same vein, no one ever dies in the OR because it hurts a surgeon's numbers. If it's looking hopeless, you or your loved one will be rushed to another unit and coded/pronounced there.
- Nursing can be a really bitchy profession and bullying/horizontal violence is rampant.

I'm sure I'll think of more to add...

[Anonymous]

I'm a celebrity nanny with 20 years experience in the industry and have seen it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a celebrity nanny with 20 years experience in the industry and have seen it all.

That's not a dirty secret. Share something juicy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Government agency and the climate change numbers were based on erroneus data.

Really, Mr. Bannon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP about childcare. I was the lead teacher in a kindergarten classroom. It was a daycare as well. I was there during the academic part of the day. Basically 8:30 until 12:30. I also worked with licensing for several years and did inspections. I'm not going to share stories because I would just be accused of being a troll. But I swore I would never put my child in a daycare center after seeing what goes on even in the very best.

It gets better when kids become more verbal. At least then they can tell you what happens.

I can respect that you don't want to share because you're being discreet. But how fair is that to the parents who have no idea how bad the care is and leave their kids somewhere --and pay their whole salary to do so?

I am not a pp, but I agree with her. I don't think any reasonable parent would put a child in a childcare before age of 3. Once they can talk and know good from bad, then it is a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spent years in non-profit fundraising. Yep, that 18% overhead is BS. So much of our mailings were classified as "educational" or "communication." I'd represent the organization at things like CFC events and it would be coded as "public outreach."

I hated the acquisition mailings we did; often they would include language like "renew your membership now!" or "membership has expired!" And these were people who had never donated to the organization before. It preyed on them. Though these mailings were not my responsibility, it always made me feel dirty when I saw them.

Most people in fundraising are ass-kissing idiots. That goes double for major gift officers. Just dumb. Not a single original thought in their heads and zero capacity for critical thinking. And because they spend so much time fawning over rich, self-important people and massaging those considerable egos, they think they too are incredibly important and expect everyone else to fawn over them.

C'mon-This is quite a generalization- not all major gift officers are like that- I know several and I have been in nonprofit fundraising for over a decade. To say they are dumb makes you look dumb too

[Anonymous]

In family court, depending on how much of a butt-hole one of the parents were, child support would be lowered or increased. I saw lots of men, women, and children get shafted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This was 20 years ago in lobbying ..many of the guys drank all afternoon. We used to drag our head guy in to testify on the Hill. I had to go to his favorite watering hole...Garys (no longer there )to drag him out

I was waiting for lobbying to be mentioned. I know a couple lobbyists like this but it's damaged their reputation -- I think by and large it doesn't happen anymore outside of evening receptions. Hill staff can't afford to drink with lobbyists and lobbyists aren't allowed to buy them drinks. I think lobbying is one profession where the perception is far worse than the reality.

Honestly I doubt it. There are so many alcoholic political staffers and television reporters that lobbying is the last profession I would think is actually on a downward booze swing (I mean they practically have mandatory office hours in bars)...

Agree that it used to be much worse than it is now. The long boozy lunch is a thing of the past, for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In family court, depending on how much of a butt-hole one of the parents were, child support would be lowered or increased. I saw lots of men, women, and children get shafted.

You mean being an asshole to a judge doesn't get you good results?

In other news water wasn't discovered on earth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In family court, depending on how much of a butt-hole one of the parents were, child support would be lowered or increased. I saw lots of men, women, and children get shafted.

You mean being an asshole to a judge doesn't get you good results?

In other news water wasn't discovered on earth

You are 100% correct. Being an asshole to a judge will not get you good results and could very well end up in a jail sentence for Contempt of Court. I was referring to the prosecutor. The prosecutor meets with both parties (or their lawyer) prior to presenting any information to a judge and THAT is the most critical point in family court. Prosecutors have broad discretion to assign income (voluntary impoverishment, voluntary underemployment, etc.), ignore income streams, follow the guidelines, etc. That is not the person you want to thumb your nose at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give me a break with the daycare stories. The teachers at our center send their own kids there. Explain that?

+1. Our center director and many of the teachers send their kids to our center. I check on the video feed often and have never once seen teachers eating the kids' food, hitting, falling down drunk on the playground, etc.

Same - and I drop in unannounced all the time, as do other parents. Zero issues.

You are kidding yourself. Staff know when parents are in the facility. There are often code words used. "Elvis is in the building" was used whenever a parent was unexpectedly on-site at my last center. I worked with a teacher who would put her long coat over kids and pretend to be hugging them. She was pinching their little ears. Another teacher took kids in the bathrooms out the camera site and smacked them on the head with their shoes if they took them off. These were degreed teachers in accredited centers. Yes I reported.

It would take me hours to list all the scary stuff I saw in even the "best centers". There are some great teachers out there. But there are also some awful ones. Low pay plus the stress of dealing with young children and long hours with few breaks creates a less than ideal environment.

Whatever.

I think it's hilarious at people don't believe these stories. Why would PPs lie about this crap? Nobody is trying to scare anyone off from daycare, but this does exist.

I think there are nannies from the nanny forum who are pretty invested in scare stories. My kids are much older and I did all variants of childcare when they were younger so don't really have a horse in this race, but this is a pattern I've seen on DCUM.

Good point.

+1. DCUM is heavily populated by nannies. I don't trust a lot of what I read. Including the salaries, benefits and how bad daycares are. It doesn't mesh with my own personal experience or from what my friends/relatives say.

I would definitely tell myself the same thing if my kids lived at daycare. So heartbreaking. How would you like to spend 10 hours a day in the same room?

When I worked in pre-school you'd be surprised at how many would leave their kids in daycare 10-12 hours a day. It was very sad.

How could two parents working full time with commutes use less than 10 hours of childcare a day? You know, the kids turn out fine. Mine are way beyond the childcare years.

Simple.

DH drops DS off @ 9, works 930-6.
I go in to work @ 7, pick up @330.

6.5 hours per day.

[Anonymous]

We elementary teachers talk about you parents as much as you talk about us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've read 21 pages and still don't know why I shouldn't order the chicken.

Maybe because it is cat?

[Anonymous]

15:46, I should have said two professional jobs. No legal job I know lets you start at 7 and end by 3:30.