if the shorts get any shorter, they will be belts! What control can/should a parent have here?
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Anonymous
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I'll start by saying my daughter is almost seven and this is not an issue I have with her. I am just thinking ahead about the teen years and wondering what you all as experienced moms of older kids think about this.
I just saw one of my neighbors daughter (13) friends leaving the house with shorts short enough that you can see a peak of her underwear and her butt cheek. Just a peek- but the underwear were red- shorts were knit khaki. I was talking to my neighbor and we both ended up talking about this business of the current fashion of super short shorts. On one hand, I think it might just be too much exposure, and there is an aopportunity to teach a young girl that different exposure amounts can generate different reactions, some of which they may not want (Leering construction workers, for example.) On the other hand, it could be this amount of skin is so normal now that it doesnt get the reaction from men that I might imagine it does. Also, I think if a young girl carries herself non sleazy and doesnt actually dress sleazy (this girl did not) and the shorts and just short but not remarkable beyond that, then that counts for something as well. Maybe. How have you felt about this issue? Is this something a parent can actually control and if so should they? |
Anonymous
| Do you worry equally about how boys dress? |
Anonymous
| I haven't seen boys showing their junk. Girls on the other hand are pretty close to baring all. |
Anonymous
Female here. I'm old enough to have grown up in the era of BOTH Dolfin shorts AND OP cord shorts for men AND women. I saw plenty of "junk" from just about every boy who sat down, anywhere. Balls oozing out the bottom of the shorts. Ewwwwww... |
Anonymous
OP here. I am seeking opinions. I stated at the outset. But since you asked, sure, if I had a boy, and the current fashion was boys balls oozing out of their pants, then yes, I would be wondering how I would handle the issue if I had a boy. I notice that, unlike what I recall from my youth which did not include the internet, there was no way for boys to take and present to the world pictures of their naked torsos all the way to just above the pubic hair. Yet when a friends teenage daughter friended me on facebook, I felt weirded out being her facebook friend because of the sheer amount of naked boy (and girl) torsos as profile pics. Just did not feel comfortable. But in terms of what I have seen, given that i have a young girl, I just see teens now and then in the neighborhood, and I see girls exposing a lot of flesh, including half their butts hanging out in thongs above their jeans, but I have yet to see that equivelant in boys. Is this something taht is happening? It might be. I just dont see it. To the PP re: the OP shorts- I remember the balls issue with those jog shorts and op shorts! |
Anonymous
You don't think boys wearing the waist of their pants below the bottom of their underwear isn't equivalent to the girl clothes issue? As to OP, my DD is first grade and only cares about the feel of clothes and how the skirt looks when she twirls. But I have high school aged boys, so I see the clothes. I think people are immune because its so common. I'm not sure I see it any different than the bikinis they wear all summer at the pool. , |
Anonymous
| Well, I think it is inappropriate at any age. And that includes high school and college age women I see wearing this stuff. Ditto boys with junk hanging out or whatever. I don't think I am horribly prudish -- I have no problem with bikinis at the beach, for example -- but I do think that much skin is immodest and inappropriate in a non-beach or pool setting. Not to mention it looks horribly uncomfortable. |
Anonymous
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PP/ ball oozer victim here.
The middle school my DD attends has a rather strict dress code...shorts have to be at least to end of wearer's fingertips. Try this...put your arms straight down at your sides. No shorter than that. Girls were routinely sent home to change or were given option to change into PE shorts if their shorts were too short. When my own mom commented on how "abbreviated" the shorts are (and believe me, it's not easy to find shorts much longer than underwear length) I reminded her of my circa 1988 cheer skirt, which was not allowed to be any LONGER than fingertip length. Our hem had to rest above cupped hands held at our sides...in other words, just below the butt. I digress, but mothers of the 1970s were horrified by hot pants and mini skirts, then my mom and others in the 80s hated the skin tight designer jeans and the Flashdance-inspired, midriff baring tees. I make certain my daughter doesn't wear too short shorts, but admit that short shorts are in fashion now. You can slightly longer versions or shorts with a cuff that can be let down a bit. |
Anonymous
| I've seen more teen girls' butt cheeks than I care to count. I think it's nasty and will try to prevent my daughter from dressing like a skank in her teen years. |
Anonymous
Do you believe that a woman's dignity and worth depends on the clothes she wears? Then you're using the right approach. |
Anonymous
What I would like to teach young girls is that they are not responsible for the thoughts and actions of others. When men harass women on the street, it's not because of short shorts; it's because the men chose to harass women on the street. If you teach her that wearing short shorts leads to street harassment, and she wears longer shorts, and she still gets harassed -- which she will -- what next? Long pants only? And if she still gets harassed, which she will, and then...? Not to mention that it's a short step from "You got harassed on the street? What were you wearing?" to "You got raped? What were you wearing?". |
Anonymous
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What you are wearing does not stop people from making comments. Minds well let the girls get use to it.
Just yesterday I got lewd comments at the bookstore in my work clothes (boring red dress). And my cousins still tease me about how while out with family this summer while wearing pallazzo pants and a plain tee-shirt, I was getting all sorts of comments from men (not family) - and I was with my 70 year old dad!! I'm in my 40s I really thought it would stop. Girls need to have the confidence to deal with lewd men no matter what they are wearing. |
Anonymous
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That butt-check reveal is in fashion this year, but my guess it it'll go out by next year.
As a male, I don't mind the current fashion trend from an eye candy standpoint, as long as the wearers are old enough. |
Anonymous
Don't be a femi-nazi jackass... We're talking about 13yo walking around with their butt cheeks hanging out. |
Anonymous
OK. Do you believe that a 13-year-old girl's dignity and worth depend on the clothes she wears? |