Daycare asked us to provide a reference on their behalf but we don't want to
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Anonymous
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DS has been attending a home daycare for the past 8 months. It started out OK but lately we noticed the providers are not doing much with the kids other than take them to the playground in their yard and feeding them. My 2 year old is bored. The TV time is increasing. I have dropped my DS this morning only to see the caregiver's daughter already in front of the TV at 7:30 AM! When my DH picks him up, he always says that he found DS watching TV again.
When we enrolled him, we asked the provider how much TV time kids have. She said 30 minutes as a "reward". But that's not true. Today she told me that one more family is interested in joining her daycare and she gave them our phone #s for reference. We are seriously considering taking our DS out of there and enrolling him in daycare near my job. I already called and they have spaces. Sure, it's bigger but no matter what time of the day I pass, they are always doing something with the kids: arts & crafts outside, reading a story, etc. What would you do? |
Anonymous
| Honestly I would probably just avoid the phone call-- don't answer and don't call back. |
Anonymous
| Why wouldn't you want other potential parents be informed about this provider? I can understand if you want to keep him there, but not if you're leaving. I wish the references I spoke to with our first home provider had told us the TV reality instead of the "15 minutes after lunch" we were told by the provider. |
Anonymous
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Have you told them you're concerned about all the TV time? I would talk to them about it before giving a bad reference. There may be an explanation of sorts ("sorry, I've had a terrible cold; we'll cut it back again starting this week") or a plan ("we do it during drop off and pick up so that we can talk to the parents") that you may or may not find acceptable. But since they gave you as a reference, it sounds like they have no idea you may be unhappy.
As for the reference, it sounds like she has already given out your number. If they call, be honest - "we liked them a lot at first but I'm concerned about the amount of screen time the kids have; I've been meaning to talk to the providers about it." As for the other center, it's hard to have an opinion about which daycare option would be better for your family though! I went with a small, kinda rundown older center near my house instead of one near my job because we liked the staff just as well and it's a lot easier on all of us to have DD near home. Spouse and I can more easily share dropoff and pickup; she spends more time with us in aggregate. |
Anonymous
| I would definitely take my kid out of there. It doesn't sound like your DS is getting the care that you're no doubt over-paying for at this home daycare. If the other family does call for a reference, you could just tell them the truth, that the provider does use the TV quite a bit. |
Anonymous
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Does the daycare near your job have a preschool curriculum component that you're happy with? Personally, I'd move to the new preschool. We're actually moving our 2 year old from a home daycare to a preschool in the fall, similarly to decrease TV time and add crafts & learning.
As far as the recommendations, we like our provider enough to mention the positive components and will probably hedge the negatives as things to ask the provider. Ignoring the call is another option. |
Anonymous
| Take your kid out then give an honest reference. |
Anonymous
| Take your kid out and then just tell the other person, "We're no longer with that provider." |
Anonymous
| Also, once you change places the provider is not going to want to use you anyway. |
Anonymous
| Be honest. This is. Very factual negative and would be really easy for provider to remedy if she wanted to not be getting a bad reference. |
Anonymous
| I'd talk to the provider and say I'm not comfortable giving reference since x y z is going on. Once these issues are solved I can talk to the other family. Maybe she needs a wake up call. If she doesn't think something is wrong how can she fix it? |
Anonymous
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OP here. I spoke with the daycare near my job and they have a spot for DS right after Labor Day. I will put in my deposit tonight and talk to the homecare provider tomorrow morning.
ANd yes, we talked to her about TV. Last time she said, "well, you have to remember this is my home too, not just a place of business. So if A. wants to watch TV, I can't really stop her." That says it all. |
Anonymous
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You lost me at TV time. There is no acceptable amount of TV at a daycare for young toddlers. You are doing the right thing by pulling your child out.
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Anonymous
| Tell them next Friday. Seriously. |
Anonymous
Then just pull your kid out and give the honest reference. What are you waiting for? |