Comment about "flirty" toddler creeped us out

[Anonymous]

After watching our 2 year old one day, a friend's spouse's comment about our toddler giving men special flirty looks and giving him the eye in a grown up way really creeped us out. We explained that she relates well to dads because she's with her own dad (who works nights) most of the day. We offered that maybe they were misinterpreting her smiles. But this other dad and his wife were insistent that dd is a flirt and we need to watch out for this because she's a pretty little girl. This comment coupled with the fact that we know this other dad privately flies off the handle (according to his spouse) and they've had screaming matches in front of their kid, plus some comments from this couple comparing our dd and theirs has made us very reluctant to take them up on their offers to babysit. We worry that they're projecting their grown up issues onto a young child and are concerned about how they'll behave when alone with the kids. Since the flirty comment we usually thank them for the offer and politely decline. And we only do playdates if me or DH is present.
Checking in to see though if we're overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Feel uncomfortable? Trust your feelings.

[Anonymous]

I hate that! I hate when people refer to their sons as "little flirts" as well.

Creepy and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

You are not overreacting, they have issues. Definitely don't use them as a babysitter and only socialize as a family as much as you are comfortable.

[Anonymous]

You protect your kid from potential harm. Period.
Read "Protecting the Gift".

[Anonymous]

With my first, he would look at people out of the sides of his eyes, "flirting" with them. Not men or women, all people. He outgrew it, and I stopped saying it. But I would find it very creepy for someone else to say it, especially in the dynamic you're talking about, a baby girl and a grownup man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel uncomfortable? Trust your feelings.

+1

[Anonymous]

Sounds a bit creepy to me. If you're uncomfortable with it then trust your instincts - definitely don't have them babysit and try to limit contact with them.

[Anonymous]

Op again. Thanks! My mommy alarm was going off the whole time. We'll definitely just do family socializing. Will read "Protecting the Gift" as well. They have a young daughter who my dd adores, we all do. Should I just kind of quietly keep an eye out for her as well?

[Anonymous]

Trust your instincts. It may be nothing, but there's no reason to have them babysit. Find another option.

My mother, of all people, used to make similar comments about DD. I thought it was awkward and weird. I just replied, "yeah, she's a real people person with EVERYONE lately."

[DSSM]

Well there is some literature that describes baby "flirting" as in they make certain faces to get a positive reaction out of us, but it's not sexual in any way.

But the way your neighbors did it, I would not leave my child alone with them. I feel the same way when an older man goes out of his way to tell a grown woman how she looks like a baby, like a 12 year old, etc - all I can think of is wow, that's exactly how excited a pedophile would get too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel uncomfortable? Trust your feelings.

+ 1 million.

It doesn't matter what any of us think - if you're at all uncomfortable for any reason, don't leave her with them.

(And, not that you should care, but I think his comments are seriously creepy and disgusting)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that! I hate when people refer to their sons as "little flirts" as well.

Creepy and inappropriate.

Totally agree. I have a friend with a daughter (whom she is super strict with) and a son (whom she dotes on constantly), and she often talks about how her son "flirts" with her. It completely creeps me out.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry. My sons both had a phase where they would grin open-mouthed and turn their heads to the side when interacting, and people often commented they are/were flirting. It is a normal thing to say outside DC where apparently everyone is paranoid.

A boutique shop owner said it about my 4 month old yesterday. She didn't want to date him or molest him, she just thought he was cute. Just like when I say I want to eat up his little thighs...trust me, I don't really want to gnaw on him, it is just a saying about fat babies and is harmless.

[Anonymous]

The comment in general is fine but the context described by the OP it is worrisome.

OP: forget about the babysitting part. Why are you still friends with this couple?