Comment about "flirty" toddler creeped us out

[Anonymous]

Good for you for following your gut.. That's that sixth sense kicking in. Follow it always.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to disagree and say the flirting comment isn't a big deal. People say that about my two year old all the time and I never think twice. The other issues are more concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate that! I hate when people refer to their sons as "little flirts" as well.

Creepy and inappropriate.

Totally agree. I have a friend with a daughter (whom she is super strict with) and a son (whom she dotes on constantly), and she often talks about how her son "flirts" with her. It completely creeps me out.

I think the term "flirt" can be used in a completely nonsexual way. It's not necessarily "creepy." However, it sounds like in the OP it was used in order to sexualize a baby which obviously is very inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comment in general is fine but the context described by the OP it is worrisome.

OP: forget about the babysitting part. Why are you still friends with this couple?

OP again. And perhaps that's the bigger question we need to figure out. We have been close for several years and have never felt uncomfortable with this couple until this year. Both couples suffer from infertility, but earlier this year our final Hail Mary pass IVF worked. We tried to be careful and sensitive in letting our friends know. But since then, I've kind of felt this low grade wave of...I dunno, passive aggression.
They were hyper competitive and not at all congratulatory when our dd got into the preschool we applied to (the mom had previously questioned whether our dd could get in and they had yet to hear back from their choice school). Despite having some serious marriage and financial problems they're working on, shortly after we announced our pregnancy they announced they decided to adopt a second child and asked us to be available as a reference. But then it turned out they weren't really planning on doing this anytime soon after all. When we learned our baby is ill and will likely need NICU care, the wife told me a series of awful and tragic stories about babies with similar diseases dying.
Then came the flirty comment and other little asides about our dd.
My gut? I think they are feeling envious right now. I can empathize as we know firsthand the emotional ups and downs of infertility.
But right now we probably need to put a little distance between the families as they deal with their issues and we deal with my and the baby's serious illnesses. A PP's suggestion of limited and supervised playdates seems best for now.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to whether it was creepy in this particular instance. I don't know the couple, and it sounds like they are having a lot of issues. I think that based upon the other issues alone, it is reasonable not to want to leave your child alone with them.

I do know that when my own son was two, he would "flirt" (i.e. react) to very attractive women differently than everyone else, and we used to comment on it and find it funny. But the other problems that you described with the couple sound troubling.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not overreacting. Go with your gut. Stay away, they sound creepy and the thought is honestly just preposterous!

[Anonymous]

Ewww, what a creep! Who says something like that!

[Anonymous]

DSSM wrote:Well there is some literature that describes baby "flirting" as in they make certain faces to get a positive reaction out of us, but it's not sexual in any way.

But the way your neighbors did it, I would not leave my child alone with them. I feel the same way when an older man goes out of his way to tell a grown woman how she looks like a baby, like a 12 year old, etc - all I can think of is wow, that's exactly how excited a pedophile would get too.

This. We say my baby is "flirting" all the time--she'll smile at someone, turn her head away, and then peek back at them. It's really cute, but it's obviously not remotely sexual, and anyone who insisted that it was would be setting off all my creep alarms. The comment itself isn't a problem, but their subsequent comments are troubling, and I wouldn't leave my kid alone with them.

[Anonymous]

Flirting comment aside, it sounds like the couple is having some stress and would not be appropriate caregivers to your child. It also sounds like you need to put some distance between yourselves and them, though I understand that infertility can be devastating and you may want to find a way to support them through this period. Then again, you may not.

[Anonymous]

Ew. I don't object to playfully calling a baby/toddler flirty, but this seems to go beyond that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comment in general is fine but the context described by the OP it is worrisome.

agreed. i've heard lots of people talk about baby "flirting" - that intentional cuteness thing they do to get smiles and attention from the grownups. It's just an awkward idiom as far as I'm concerned, and not a red flag by itself. In context, however, it adds to an undesirable dynamic that is giving you bad vibes. i say go with your gut here.

[Anonymous]

The whole thing is very creepy, especially saying you need to watch this since she is so pretty?! WTF! That might be a concern to raise regarding a tween, not a toddler. Do not leave your children with these people.

[Anonymous]

My 7 month old son likes to smile (a lot!) at women so I always flatter people and tell them he likes to smile and flirt with "pretty ladies"

maybe I shouldn't ....

?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole thing is very creepy, especially saying you need to watch this since she is so pretty?! WTF! That might be a concern to raise regarding a tween, not a toddler. Do not leave your children with these people.

Another overreacter. People say this all the time too about my son...he has lovely huge green eyes and we are always getting comments about how many hearts he is going to break. They are trying to be complimentary, folks.

The screaming, etc. is a concern. The "flirt" and pretty comments are normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that! I hate when people refer to their sons as "little flirts" as well.

Creepy and inappropriate.

+1

HATE THAT!