Nope. |
So most aren't your neighbors, some of the moms are in some of your kids' classes, and you don't even know them all very well. What do you think the connection is among these women and why do you think you should have been included? It wasn't all the neighborhood, or all the parent in all the classes, what makes you so special? |
I guess you missed the last 21 pages. |
What are you taking about? Based on the little information, there is nothing at all weird or wrong that these women did. The only bizarre part was OPs text. |
This is so dumb. If there were 15 people there, it's likely that every single other parent in the class know several people there. According to your logic, they all should feel hurt that they weren't invited too - which would be ridiculous. People are allowed to socialize with their friends without taking a poll to make sure that anyone with a connection to three of them also is invited. And OP's text - oh boy. That is, 100%, being circulated amongst the other moms, accompanied by eyerolls and comments about how they'll definitely not invite OP next time, either. |
+1 Another DP. |
I really hope Jeff does a write up of this thread.
Also I’m pretty sure there are 2 groups posting here. People with active social lives who understand they aren’t invited to everything, but are ok with it because they understand they can’t include every person they know when they plan things. And self-important people who create awkwardness and negativity toward situations unnecessarily. Why did OP deserve an invite to this event? By her own accounts there are 300 kids at the school. Even if each family has 2 kids there that is 150 families. So 10% of moms at the school met up of which she is friends with 2. Had she gotten an invite I somehow doubt she’d be blasting out invites to the other 90% of the moms at the school. And no one is gaslighting her and honestly the people validating her completely illogical take on this being a “clique” are doing her no favors for handling her social life going forward. Keep sending socially awkward texts to the moms at the school OP … that will really get you invited to future events. |
And I’m seeing a lot of posters projecting biases and inventing details in the other direction. Let’s all meet at a winery in Loudon County on Friday at noon to hash it out. Invite every mom in your neighborhood! |
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2024/04/29/update042024 |
I have just started this thread now, and disagree with this (and also, it's a gross mischaracterization of the other PP's position). . Of course women have the right to feel excluded. But in this situation, bases solely on the facts OP has reported and assuming they are true, I don't think she's reached a reasonable conclusion. I'm not assuming motives on anyone's part (because we can't), and I'm not assuming that OP is difficult (though I don't think the text was a great idea - I think everyone agrees on that). Nothing nefarious, I just don't see anything to support OP's conclusion. That's all. T |
8 billion people in the world. Almost none of them invite me to their social gatherings. I am gutted.
Oh wait. |
Why are you trickling out information like this? You never said the moms’ kids were in the same classes as your kids. |
OP, I get it. I definitely see this behavior in my town - there are all sorts of mom groups around me - the tennis moms, the moms of the little league boys, the SAHM that I see drinking at the pool when I pick my kid up from swim team. On my best days, I just walk over, say hi, and order a drink if I'm able. On my worst, I try to avoid them completely so they don't see me!
Honestly, I find most of this to be a reflection of how little I put myself out there. I don't play tennis, I work full-time, I am not one of those LL moms for sure. It can still hurt sometimes, and feel embarrassing. But not enough to motivate me to change too much...yet (but I'm sure I will some day - hope they still let me in the clique). |
Someone from OP’s school is bound to get wind of this and it’s going to make her look even more foolish for creating that initial post. |
There are also those of us who think it's totally okay those women got together without OP, but also can see why OP might have felt awkward and left out when she saw them all together and they saw her. I think OP's text was bad form, but I also think if I were one of the women in that group I would have said "oh are you busy now? come join us for a glass!" And I think it's a little weird if they didn't do that because it sounds like OP knows all these women and is fairly good friends with at least a couple -- even if she's not in the friends group that got invited, it seems natural to extend an invite to hang for at least a bit. I personally think the people who think OP is "delusional" for feeling left out or slighted are as bad as the people who believe everyone should be invited to everything. Of course it can't work that way but that doesn't mean it's fun to discover you're on the outside of a group, or that people can't use some social graces to smooth out the awkwardness and make someone feel welcome in the moment, even if you aren't inviting her to every little thing (and yes I agree OP's text was also lacking in social graces, she should have laughed it off or even just said "I'd love to join if you guys do that again" and not been so petty and critical). The whole idea that OP must either be 100% wrong or 100% right is immature. I think her feelings are understandable but also that she could have handled it better and that the other women likely didn't intentionally exclude her. I don't feel the need to attack OP or call her names because I sympathize, and I'm also not going to act like those other women must be insular shrews because more likely they are just people who know each other a bit better than they know OP. Anyway, consider the idea that no one, including OP, is a villain in this story. |