How do you outsmart the secret a-hole at work?

[Anonymous]

When I was a first-year associate, one of the pearls of wisdom a partner gave me (after patiently listening to my complaints about the publicly-known jerks in the office) was that I should be glad to be dealing with the publicly known a-holes. "Wait until you encounter the secret a-holes." He was so right!! I thought I had mastered the art of identifying and avoiding them, but I now have my white whale and need advice.

I am about 2 years out from making partner and am fairly well-positioned to do so. A partner who I have worked with for about five years (she lateraled in at the same time I did) will ultimately run my small specialty practice group when the current leader retires. She is a brilliant attorney, a charming person and someone who I have always respected, admired and enjoyed working with . . . until recently. The "falling out" point seems to have been her misread of a situation where I allowed a relatively new hire to be considered to be staffed on an off-site project. She is somewhat invested in the new hire because he was her student and she recruited him. (He is not particularly attractive or compelling in any way so I really don't think there is any more to the investment than him being "her turf".) He is my counselee and it was my role to okay the staffing and I got approval from my group leader. I think (but don't know) that the new hire misled her concerning my role. In any event, she flipped. She stormed into my office, demanded to know why "Bob" was being considered for the project and stormed out before I could answer. At the time, we were ramping up on a new project on which I was to be "one of the three key people". The next day, on a team conference call, we discussed roles and, for the first time, she announced, "Susie, I'm not entirely sure what your role here would be but it would be nice for you to be able to come and observe." And that was that. For the next two months, she didn't give me work or talk to me. Then, in a last minute move, literally hours before my review, she submitted her personal review with a B rating, which is the kiss of death if you plan to make partner. Someone very high up in the organization saw fit to save me but the message had been communicated. There has been some thawing since then but I am very nervous about whether she is done or this is just the start. If I jump ship, I lose my spot in line. I am highly specialized so there are not that many places I could go and don't want to leave unless I need to.

Thoughts??? I just want to appease her but don't quite know how. I am as sweet as can be to her (and to Bob, since that is obviously a touchy issue) and she is as sweet as can be to me but I just don't trust it. I keep looking for what she might do to sabotage me. What would you do? How do I outsmart her?

[Anonymous]

Holy shit! I have no advice but that sounds nuts! I still don't even quite understand what you did with Bob that pissed her off.

[Anonymous]

She sounds massively insecure. You may have to lay low until she fixates on someone else, which is inevitable. However, she may come around to you again. I've worked in places where the immediate supervisor (or even peer who tried to position herself that way) would hold grudges against certain people. If you play it cool, she may turn her wrath/cold shoulder to Bob himself, but may turn it back to you again.
If she lateraled in, is there a way that you could lateral across to another position in the firm? Or is this your only track to partner there?

[Anonymous]

You need to destroy her. Bring her down. Don't know how, but everyone has their weaknesses, and their flaws.

In short, you out-asshole the assholes.

[Anonymous]

See if you can find out from colleagues what her issue is. Agree with pp, I don't know what it is you did with Bob re: his assignment that she is concerned about and since you didn't overstep your bounds, you've got nothing to apologize for.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any useful advice but I know very good people who got torpedoed for partner for the same or less. I think part of the problem is that with law firm economics sucking they hardly need an excuse not to make anyone a partner.

That said, is there any way you could approach the current leader or whoever saved your bacon before and try and figure out what the issue is or a strategy to address it?

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could become best friends with Bob then maybe she would start to like you again. Any common interests besides work. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know how common fraternization outside of work is or with a subordinate.

[Anonymous]

PP here: Also, Who is the person high up in the organization that saved you? Can you get closer to that person? Would she then be more apt to treat you better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See if you can find out from colleagues what her issue is. Agree with pp, I don't know what it is you did with Bob re: his assignment that she is concerned about and since you didn't overstep your bounds, you've got nothing to apologize for.

The only insight I have into the Bob situation is that he told her that he was being staffed on X project at my direction and against his will. There are a number of untruths in there (i.e., he hadn't been staffed, just asked; it wasn't my idea, I had just allowed it to move forward and be had repeatedly told me and the partner initiating the staffing that he did want to do it). I think my group leader ultimately set the record straight but not until well after the fact. Honestly, Bob is digging himself a huge hole by refusing billable hours he sorely needs. In any event, either Bob plausibly spun this as evil Susie sending him off to Siberia or it was simply that I stepped on her toes. The former makes more sense both in terms of her reaction and what I know of Bob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here: Also, Who is the person high up in the organization that saved you? Can you get closer to that person? Would she then be more apt to treat you better?

Yes, this is on my strategy list! I think the fact that he stepped in so visibly for me did also send a message to her. If she thinks I am not worth the trouble because it will make her look bad or will pit her against someone bigger, she might just move on.

[Anonymous]

I always heard that there's one asshole in every office, but I've never met him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always heard that there's one asshole in every office, but I've never met him.

Then it's probably you!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always heard that there's one asshole in every office, but I've never met him.

Then it's probably you!!!

Everyone else got the joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to destroy her. Bring her down. Don't know how, but everyone has their weaknesses, and their flaws.

In short, you out-asshole the assholes.

This. Scorched earth approach; leave nothing left of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to destroy her. Bring her down. Don't know how, but everyone has their weaknesses, and their flaws.

In short, you out-asshole the assholes.

This. Scorched earth approach; leave nothing left of her.

Personally, unless you are really good at this sort of thing, I would not waste your effort on this right now. Have the long view. First, make partner. Then, figure out if you still want to screw her.