Aimless sister in law

[Anonymous]

My 30-something younger sister finished law school 3 years ago. she went into a big firm in Chicago, but didn't like the "stress" of the job, so she recently quit. She's been working on some ideas but has not bothered to look for a job yet. Now all she does is hang out with friends, and go on vacations. She's not married.

I suspect her lack of motivation to seek gainful employment is because my parents paid for law school and even bought a condo for her in Chicago where she went to lawschool.

Basically, she has some savings from working after college before law school and from her legal job that paid well. She has monthly expenses beyond food and utilities because the condo is paid off by our parents.

My problem is, I feel like someday it's going to be my and DH's problem to support my sister. we both work hard, have 2 kids, and have a good HHI, and have the mortgage under control. It's annoying that my sister has no ambition. She has never really needed to make money to support herself because she's always been bailed out by the parents. Someday, the spigot of money from my parents will turn off and my Sis will be on her own.

I want to help her learn some better habits now so she isn't going to mooch off of us in the future. I'm so frustrated that she doesn't feel the need to get a real job!

Any advice, DCUMers?

[Anonymous]

MYOB. I doubt she will ever try to mooch off of you and your dh. You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. I doubt she will ever try to mooch off of you and your dh. You sound jealous.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here. Are you people serious? I'm not jealous. I care about my sister, but also is looking out for my own family so this doesn't become a problem in the future.

It's hard to MYOB when it's family.

[Anonymous]

So if she does come looking for support simply say no. No explanation needed. Problem solved. I had this happen with a close relative and didn't really stress about it. Lack of planning on their part is not now a problem on my part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are you people serious? I'm not jealous. I care about my sister, but also is looking out for my own family so this doesn't become a problem in the future.

It's hard to MYOB when it's family.

You have waay too much time on your hands.

[Anonymous]

OP, you do,have too much time on your hands. Your sister is living a condo that is paid off. If your parents died tomorrow, she'd still have a place to live! You act as if your sister is pawning off others just to get her next meal.

Plus, she's in her early thirties, not sixties. She's very employable and can easily support herself if push comes to shove.

I am the oldest of 6 children and totally get your need to be the "responsible" one and look out for everyone's interest. But you have taken to a level that is totally unnecessary. Do NOT offer any advice about how she needs to grow up, get a "real" job or take care f herself. If you say anything, you will most definitely come off as a jealous shrew.

[Anonymous]

Op I feel for you. I have siblings who are not uhm self sufficient ( so does hubby). So I do wonder who they will turn to In the future when their means of support is not longer there. Me. I am aware of that possibility and I've decided I'll cross that bridge when I come to it... Maybe they'll win the lottery...

[Anonymous]

Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

[Anonymous]

I have a aimless, albeit older sister who has been supported by our parents for her life (2 grad degrees, one from U Chicago, one from Cornell). She's 55 now, and still a moocher. My dad passed a few years ago and she started asking me for help. She received a strong and quick no, and hasn't asked again. Mom still supports her though. I am jealous, especially because I've needed and asked for help, and received a no, because she is seen as a needier case, thus all spare funds go to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 30-something younger sister finished law school 3 years ago. she went into a big firm in Chicago, but didn't like the "stress" of the job, so she recently quit. She's been working on some ideas but has not bothered to look for a job yet. Now all she does is hang out with friends, and go on vacations. She's not married.

I suspect her lack of motivation to seek gainful employment is because my parents paid for law school and even bought a condo for her in Chicago where she went to lawschool.

Basically, she has some savings from working after college before law school and from her legal job that paid well. She has monthly expenses beyond food and utilities because the condo is paid off by our parents.

My problem is, I feel like someday it's going to be my and DH's problem to support my sister. we both work hard, have 2 kids, and have a good HHI, and have the mortgage under control. It's annoying that my sister has no ambition. She has never really needed to make money to support herself because she's always been bailed out by the parents. Someday, the spigot of money from my parents will turn off and my Sis will be on her own.

I want to help her learn some better habits now so she isn't going to mooch off of us in the future. I'm so frustrated that she doesn't feel the need to get a real job!

Any advice, DCUMers?

She can only mooch off of you if you let her.

[Anonymous]

You lost me when you placed sarcasm quotes around the word 'stress.' Do you have any idea how brutal biglaw can be?

[Anonymous]

Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are you people serious? I'm not jealous. I care about my sister, but also is looking out for my own family so this doesn't become a problem in the future.

It's hard to MYOB when it's family.

You have waay too much time on your hands.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me when you placed sarcasm quotes around the word 'stress.' Do you have any idea how brutal biglaw can be?

Oh boo hoo, I'm tired of the woe is me lawyers on this forum. "WAAAH! I'm a lawyer and I only make $150,000! WAAAH! It will take me 7 years to make partner and rake in my $1M."

You realize in most other fields, a lateral hire will result in lower pay? Only in law do you guys feel entitled to similar pay when you jump ship to another firm.