father's house being foreclosed: what to do? Or do nothing?

[Anonymous]

Recently I received a call from my brother, who is managing my father’s affairs while he is in a long term recovery and mentally disabled. It seems that my brother has been using my father’s income as his own. As a result, my father’s home is facing foreclosure. It is unlikely that my father will understand any of this, or be able to return. My brother is asking me for money to pay the expenses on the house so that the bank will not foreclose. I have already paid some of his bills, but I cannot keep up with my brother’s spending. He says, just send the money: this time I will pay you back. That would be the first time. I hate to see my father lose his home, but I cannot afford to pay for it, and my brother’s expenses also. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You need to get financial peer of attorney over your dad, stay, and block your brother from having access. Do not give your brother any money directly.

[Anonymous]

Agree

[Anonymous]

No money to bro. The only way you bail out the property or assets he milked is if you get 100% control and title ship in your name, nothing in his. He has proven his incompetency and his selfish motives to dire (foreclosure) consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No money to bro. The only way you bail out the property or assets he milked is if you get 100% control and title ship in your name, nothing in his. He has proven his incompetency and his selfish motives to dire (foreclosure) consequences.

This.

[Anonymous]

Agree ... if father won't give you a POA you may have to petition the court to be appointed as Conservator and then you can cut brother out.

If you do anything, pay directly to father's creditors so brother never sees it or has a chance to intercept or divert.

Also may want to keep in mind and perhaps let brother know he may have committed a crime in misappropriating father's income, etc., but hold that card back for now (IMO).

[Anonymous]

OP,

Yikes! I have lots of questions.
Does your brother have POA?
How much equity is in the house?
Does your father have other assets to cover his care?
Could you avoid foreclosure and put the house on the market? Or does your brother live there?
You should speak to an attorney STAT!
Your brother probably didn't commit a crime, by using the money as his own, unless he was forging checks and/or other documents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Yikes! I have lots of questions.
Does your brother have POA?
How much equity is in the house?
Does your father have other assets to cover his care?
Could you avoid foreclosure and put the house on the market? Or does your brother live there?
You should speak to an attorney STAT!
Your brother probably didn't commit a crime, by using the money as his own, unless he was forging checks and/or other documents.

OP here. It is an ugly story. Yes, has POA. No equity in home removed to brother via reverse mortgage. Yes, father has other assets, diverted to bro. House needs cash pay in to avoid foreclosure. No, bro does not live there. Yes consulted an attorney. State will not prosecute a POA holder. Now another bro has POA. Same story repeated. I am getting pressure for the second time to "save this house" I feel that there is no, and will be no, end to the pressure on me to put more money into this. "save the house!" round three.
Actually, I am feeling very manipulated by this: You drained the estate and now you are whining to me for MORE MONEY? This has been going on for 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Consult an elder attorney. They specialize in just this sort of thing. That attorney will represent your father, not your brothers or you.

[Anonymous]

Whoa. Your brother used a reverse mortgage and took all the equity out of the house and now asking you to save it? Don't spend any money to save the house. Save you funds for later for anything you father will really need since it looks like the other brothers won't be taking care of him. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this ugliness with family OP.

[Anonymous]

Don't spend any money to save the house. There's zero guarantee your brother will actually spend it the way he promises, and it's quite likely that even if he does, you'll be asked for money again.

Save your money to care for your father.

[Anonymous]

Let the house go, especially if Dad is not returning home. Save your money for further care of him as he ages.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I am just so MAD at all of them! In case it is not clear, there are 2 different bros. This has broken my family into pieces.

[Anonymous]

Another NO to any money to either of your brothers. They have done enough damage. What is the situation of your father's medical care. Is there enough safe money to pay for it? Or are your brothers eating through that too?

It is one thing for you to give up on any possible inheritance but another thing to allow your brothers to hang your father to dry w/o enough care, even though he has the money. Talk to an attorney and secure all the financial resources that belong to your father. You never know how long he will live and although this will be additional work for you, please cut your brothers out so that your father can live in peace and get the required care to the end of his life.

[Anonymous]

I agree with trying to protect your fathers assets for him. However, it sounds as if brothers live in the same town as father and op lives far away? Are they caring for your dad on a daily basis?