father's house being foreclosed: what to do? Or do nothing?

[Anonymous]

18:45 here.

If he has a POA and did not exceed its scope, you're right, no crime, etc.

I would not put another dime into this IMO, the brother is a grifter and the best you can do now is find an elder law attorney and try to do the best you can from here on out. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree that there is no crime here. POAs have fiduciary duties. They are not allowed to abuse their powers. If the brother used the POA to steal money and spend it on himself, it's a crime and it's elder abuse. Every state has an elder abuse reporting hotline. I would call the hotline and ask about it. Most lawyers know very little about elder abuse.

As far as what to do -- I'd make arrangements for my father to go to a nursing home or assisted living apartment or senior apartment. I'd also hire an elder lawyer and apply for guardianship. Once I had the guardianship, I would revoke the POA.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, a POA doesn't mean that the brother can use his dad's money for whatever he wants. I'd consult a lawyer who specializes in elder law and see what you can do to ensure that your dad's assets are protected and available to pay for his care.

[Anonymous]

OP, will you father be eligible for low income and/or Medicaid to cover his care?

Why save the house if you have no control over assets? So sorry!

[Anonymous]

P.S. Three years? What kind of expenses do your brothers / does your brother have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, will you father be eligible for low income and/or Medicaid to cover his care?

Why save the house if you have no control over assets? So sorry!

If he has any assets, including a house, he will not qualify for medicaid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree that there is no crime here. POAs have fiduciary duties. They are not allowed to abuse their powers. If the brother used the POA to steal money and spend it on himself, it's a crime and it's elder abuse. Every state has an elder abuse reporting hotline. I would call the hotline and ask about it. Most lawyers know very little about elder abuse.

As far as what to do -- I'd make arrangements for my father to go to a nursing home or assisted living apartment or senior apartment. I'd also hire an elder lawyer and apply for guardianship. Once I had the guardianship, I would revoke the POA.

Excuse me. 10:40 here.

I believe I said exactly that in a different way. I said no crime IF he didn't exceed the scope of the POA, which necessarily includes exercising his fiduciary duty and not abusing it. And I said, as you did, to get an elder law attorney. Is there an echo in here?

So while you may "disagree" that no crime was committed, your disagreement is based on a whole host of assumptions that I specifically made a major qualifier in my assessment.

Just pesky little details like that, that make the difference between criminal behavior and not...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consult an elder attorney. They specialize in just this sort of thing. That attorney will represent your father, not your brothers or you.

This is very good advice.

[Anonymous]

How does a house w a reverse mortgage get foreclosed on? They make payments TO your dad. Not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

If your father has items of sentimental or monetary value, get them out now. Then move away from it. Your father might benefit from an elder law attorney, but, as you said, he does not need this house anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't agree that there is no crime here. POAs have fiduciary duties. They are not allowed to abuse their powers. If the brother used the POA to steal money and spend it on himself, it's a crime and it's elder abuse. Every state has an elder abuse reporting hotline. I would call the hotline and ask about it. Most lawyers know very little about elder abuse.

As far as what to do -- I'd make arrangements for my father to go to a nursing home or assisted living apartment or senior apartment. I'd also hire an elder lawyer and apply for guardianship. Once I had the guardianship, I would revoke the POA.

+1

[Anonymous]

Happened in our family and the money embezzlement was discovered at the Gma's death. One brother and adult grandson, the closest locally, had free reign on the checkbook, ate meals at the house each day provided by the visiting nurse/maid, bought Mercedes, etc. After a year of shock and betrayal conversations the will was recut. Those two still made out like the bandits they were.

What worked? Applying the word Shame often. Switching to a purely professional relationship with the perps (no holiday invites, etc), lots of emails from siblings cousins, etc. and a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P.S. Three years? What kind of expenses do your brothers / does your brother have?

They do not work, and are used to having money. One bought a new home for himself.

[Anonymous]

Had this happen in my family with my Grandma and my dad's brother. My dad let the house be foreclosed on thinking that any money he put up should go to his mother's long term care. She was not returning to the house anyways. Immediately after the foreclusre notice was posted, dad went to court and got himself apponited her guardian so that his brother and his family no longer had access to her monthly checks. It was a tough situation but it had to be done.

Ten years later, my dad and his brother are just now beginning to talk again.

[Anonymous]

OP here: We spent money we really did not have to hire a very good lawyer. Just could not make it happen. In some States they WILL NOT prosecute, even though it is a crime.