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SIL and extreme weight gain
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Anonymous
| Okay, let's preface this by saying I had a very unique pregnancy and because I am tall I never had a big belly, no maternity clothes, only 15 lbs weight gain (only a size 6, not obese). So now my SIL is 7 weeks pregnant and has already gained close to 25 lbs. Now keep in mind she isn't very smart and educated on prenatal care. I feel like this is really extreme though, did anyone else gain this much weight this early on? Could this be a sign she is having twins? |
Anonymous
| You might be overreacting. I am an extremely healthy eater (read: unprocessed, whole grain, fresh food) and was not fat before pregnancy. I gained 60 lbs while pregnant, and the most rapid gain was in the first trimester because food was the only thing that helped nausea. As long as she is still exercising (walking, swimming, stretching), she may be okay. make sure she is taking prenatals, and encourage her to eat non-junk. |
Anonymous
| Okay thanks for the helpful response. I know she isn't a healthy eater that is mostly why I am concerned. I can see her filling up on McDonalds and frozen pizza everyday. Like i said she is really a uneducated hick that needs some guidance! |
Anonymous
An uneducated hick. You are so wonderful for looking out for her, glad she has such a loving SIL. Wow. Well, all those babies of other uneducated hicks seem to be doing ok for the most part so I'd let her take care of herself. You may have a different metabolism and a different BODY. But she is lucky to have an educated non-hick looking out for her. |
Anonymous
| Hey, hey, PP, second poster here -- while the OP's choice of phrase is not so nice, I totally understand the frustration. After all, SIL is carrying her future niece or nephew. I have unsophisticated in-laws who smoke and eat terribly and don't use seat belts, and sometimes, I get really disgusted and angry because they are carelessly putting their children at risk. But I love these same in-laws and think they are 'good people.' And, let's not forget, those same in-laws probably talk crap about me all the time - think I am an out-of-touch ivory tower liberal. |
Anonymous
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I hope this post is a joke. If not, back off. Immediately and completely. Irrespective of how accurate your narrative may be - 25lbs in 7w sounds a little unbelievable - you are unlikely to gain anything by lecturing or hectoring or even offering "helpful" advice to your SIL. You appear to have your own weight issues - otherwise why advertise your dress size? - so try to address those rather than someone else's.
As someone who has gained lots of weight during 2 pregnancies, I have to say it's hard enough being pregnant without listening to 'helpful' comments on this fact by friends/family/strangers. In my case, the weight gain appeared to be mostly water and a huge baby, as I lost it all immediately, so I try not to sweat it. But when you're struggling with all the physical and emotional burdens of pregnancy, even the most innocent comments (like the cashier who asked me today if I was having 1 child or twins) can be very hurtful. Which frankly doesn't aid in the battle to eat healthy and maintain other good habits like exercise. |
Anonymous
| I am educated (Master's Degree), from Chicago (midwest hick), very small and still gained 65 plus pounds while pregnant. That was eating fruits, organic everything and walking everyday. I think some bodies are different, hold water differently and gain regardless of what you do. I am certain your SILs doctor is advising her better than you can. |
Anonymous
|
OP poster here, you don't know about the situation. My SIL is immature, self centered, and got pregnant from a one night stand. She is pregnant, still smoking, and having a drink once and a while. So the weight gain is just another added strick for her. To be honest, I wasn't judging about gaining 60 lbs or more. Mainly I wanted to know if 25 lbs in 7 weeks is at all normal or this is a result of her poor choices.
So when I saw she is being irresponsible and not looking out for her baby, the eating is only the tip of the iceberg. |
Anonymous
It's a little more than 3 pounds a week which can be normal, I bet some of it is water weight. I bloated badly in the beginning. |
Anonymous
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At seven weeks, the SIL's pregnancy is barely established. It's even early for morning sickness to be a reason to be overeating. With 25 pounds that early, she is not gaining due to the pregnancy. I would be seriously concerned about other underlying issues: Is she depressed over the pregnancy? Is she considering terminating? Is she trying to quit smoking? Asking her about these issues may be your best option - just checking in with her to make sure she's in a good place mentally.
The stress of what she's dealing with may be causing the weight gain, but at 7 weeks I would bet a lot of money it's not due to the pregnancy. |
Anonymous
Is there a way you could frame this concern for your SIL so that you are supporting her rather than tearing her down? You may have legitimate concerns, but it's getting muddled by the negative tone of your post. It's funny, when I read this I thought of Amy Poehler's character in the movie Baby Mama--maybe you two could have a movie night, with pizza, popcorn and ice cream and watch this together. It might prompt some honest discussion. I'm completely serious. Be well. |
Anonymous
| OP here, I have tried the supportive friend approach and sadly had no luck. She is still at the stage that most of us pass when we are teens and think we know everything. It's just a really sad situation and I am hoping when she goes to the doctor she will get a wakeup call and be told that her behavior is not okay. |
Anonymous
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Your language is a bit over the top, OP. You should come to my office. I can assure you that even Harvard and Yale-types can be known to eat lots of horrible food, day after day without regard for what it does to themselves and in some cases their children.
OP, stop lecturing. I have never met an adult who stopped smoking, drinking, eating junk, started exercising, adopted healthy habits because they were lectured by another adult. Also, if she thinks she's right -- don't make her defensive. Then she might continue her ways just to spite you. Instead, really listen to her; ask what her doctor says, what her plans are to quit smoking, etc. |
Anonymous
| I bet her doctor will say something to her. My first pregnancy I gained 10 pounds one month(I gained a total of 32 pounds) and I got a lecture and was questioned on what I was eating. My OB sat down with me and helped me come up with some heathly alternatives but alternatives where I could also eat the foods I was craving. (Wheat wraps instead of white bagels... that sort of thing). Doesn't sound healthy to me. |
Anonymous
| Don't forget, though, that at 7 weeks she may not even have had an appointment yet. So, when she does go in, the doc will record her weight as the "start" weight, even though it's 25 pounds heavier than normal. And it's unfair to call it 3 pounds a week when most of those weeks were before implantation. |