Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

Not my experience. I delivered where there was a nursery and they kept the baby, fed her formula and brought her to me when she was hungry…except for night feedings. I still barely slept though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Because I was awake for almost 36 hours for labor and delivery, still numb from an epidural, and needed to rest. I was in no condition to care for a newborn when I had no clue what I was doing.

Honestly, what is wrong with people like PP?? I was also up for nearly 48 hours straight in labor, followed by an infection, delirium, and finally, a C-section. By the time they brought my son to me in recovery, I was still so numb I couldn't even sit up or even lift my head properly. My vision was blurry and I couldn't see my baby, hard as I tried. My arms didn't quite work well enough to hold him for very long, either. Thank god there was a nursery and I was able to sleep for a couple of hours right at the beginning. Then they kept waking me up to feed the baby, or because the nurse thought I should try "skin to skin" to bond with him, all while warning me that if I fell asleep I could accidentally kill him. It was pure torture. I left the hospital after 4 days, still so sleep deprived that I wasn't thinking straight, or really at all. Thank god I had my husband and mother to help me out. I really fear for women who don't have that support, or even the paltry few hours sleep I got thanks to the nursery in the hospital.

*shudder*. I did not have it nearly as bad as you (relatively fast and uncomplicated delivery) but I had little support at home. If my experience had been like yours in the hospital then I went home to no help, I probably would have ended up institutionalized with PPD psychosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel so badly for women who need to subject themselves to hospital regulations while giving birth to their babies.

They don't need to. There are options.

Right. Read threads like this with appalling maternal care stories and the same people who think hospitals have horrible policies do an about face and act like the people who admit to home births are monsters.

My planned home birth with midwives was supportive of both my rest and recovery and the care and bonding of my baby. Sorry to hear of women have psychotic breaks in hospital settings.

3 home-births for me. All a mom to be needs to do is read 20 pages of these horror hosptial stories and a soothing water-birth at home is clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one sleeps in the hospital. Everyone gets checks. Use the bassinet. Have someone stay with you.

No. The baby is a patient and should be cared for by hospital staff. Not by another patient that just had an intensive medical procedure.

No.

By that logic no one should take care of you either. Good luck!

I’ve had my kids. Their *father* “helped” me. No luck needed, but thanks for your concern!

Exactly. Only women like you deserve to recover after surgery.

Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do these nurses for holding babies magic come from?

Appropriate hospital staffing. Doesn't have to be highly medically trained staff to fulfill this function either, just gentle responsible and common sense providers.

LOL. Good luck with that. Nursing is completely short staffed in 2023. They aren’t going to hire some phantom “gentle, responsible and common sense” non-nursing staff either.

Hospitals are businesses. If you treat your patients like shit, don't be surprised when women with options make different choices for their births and postpartum care.

So put your money where your mouth is and quit whining. Just know that policies won’t change unless you convince tens of thousands of your fellow whiners to also eschew giving those hospitals their business, which won’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.

The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.

2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.

Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.

Ugh. This is the problem. You aren’t a “princess” (how old are you?) and you aren’t entitled to be treated like one. You had a baby, just like millions of other women have done throughout history.

what is wrong with you? if there is ONE time a woman is entitled to special treatment, it is after she has her first baby.

No. You’re an adult, and most assuredly not a “princess.” How pathetic and gross for PP to even type those words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And put the baby in a nursery room for the night. The recovery should be treated like recovery from a surgery; no interrupting sleep.

Have you had surgery? Sleep is absolutely interrupted for medical check ins. I don't disagree with you that someone who just gave birth needs sleep to recover, but the hospital isn't restful for anyone.

Sleep is important for ALL hospital patients.

And yet the PP you responded to is 100% correct.

No PP is not correct. Disrupted sleep in the hospital is being recognized as a problem for all patients. Sleep is not optional - it’s actually essential to health and hospitals are trying to do something about it for all patients.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2023/02/19/sleep-deprivation-hospitals/


At a minumum, bring back nurseries if you are going to insist that new mothers should not be allowed to sleep in the hospital. Because that is NOT safe for the baby to room in.

Yes, they ARE correct. Can you read? They didn’t say sleep wasn’t important. Read what they actually said. I bolded it to help you and yes, they are correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Sounds like you base a lot of your decisions and actions on EMOTION. There’s something amiss if you can’t imagine why a woman wants to sleep and recover after delivery and/or surgery. That or sorry but you have a low IQ.

The fact you refer to nurses at the hospital as “strangers” is a huge red flag. Let me guess…you don’t work?

Get some rest.

So you didn’t have a real response to their very valid point. Quelle surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is not hospitals, the problem is that families are so splintered, many new mothers have nobody to take care of them!

I didn’t mind interrupted sleep during my hospital stays because I got a lot of support, and I knew when I went home I would get even more support. I fed and cuddled with my baby, and when I wanted sleep I handed him off to someone he was related to by blood. Would never hand him off to a medical professional unless he had medical needs.

It’s the job of the hospital to care for patients dong dong, not family members.

The “job” of the hospital is what they decide when they set their policies. They are not required to have a nursery and not required to take your baby. Don’t like it? Too bad.

Oh, and learn to spell if you’re going to hurl third grade playground insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is not hospitals, the problem is that families are so splintered, many new mothers have nobody to take care of them!

I didn’t mind interrupted sleep during my hospital stays because I got a lot of support, and I knew when I went home I would get even more support. I fed and cuddled with my baby, and when I wanted sleep I handed him off to someone he was related to by blood. Would never hand him off to a medical professional unless he had medical needs.

It’s the job of the hospital to care for patients dong dong, not family members.

The “job” of the hospital is what they decide when they set their policies. They are not required to have a nursery and not required to take your baby. Don’t like it? Too bad.

Oh, and learn to spell if you’re going to hurl third grade playground insults.

Wow. Imagine being such a twot about postpartum care. Your hatred of women is just boiling over. Karma won’t be kind to you.

[Anonymous]

Refuse to patronize hospitals without nurseries. Write to administration to tell them exactly why. Push back on baby “unfriendly” policies. Ostracize women like the above that like to shucks and tough luck vulnerable women that are down. No other hospital patient is treated as badly as a post partum woman and a newborn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

Not my experience. I delivered where there was a nursery and they kept the baby, fed her formula and brought her to me when she was hungry…except for night feedings. I still barely slept though.

I’ve written about my experience here before and it was exactly the above. They got very aggressive about breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Sounds like you base a lot of your decisions and actions on EMOTION. There’s something amiss if you can’t imagine why a woman wants to sleep and recover after delivery and/or surgery. That or sorry but you have a low IQ.

The fact you refer to nurses at the hospital as “strangers” is a huge red flag. Let me guess…you don’t work?

Get some rest.

So you didn’t have a real response to their very valid point. Quelle surprise.

They were being really nasty to be honest. And then they assumed the person they were responding to didn’t work. What the hell is that?
Reactivity. It’s not a valid anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

Not my experience. I delivered where there was a nursery and they kept the baby, fed her formula and brought her to me when she was hungry…except for night feedings. I still barely slept though.

I’ve written about my experience here before and it was exactly the above. They got very aggressive about breastfeeding.

Ok. That’s your experience. Not my own. See how we all are different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.

The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.

2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.

Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.

Ugh. This is the problem. You aren’t a “princess” (how old are you?) and you aren’t entitled to be treated like one. You had a baby, just like millions of other women have done throughout history.

what is wrong with you? if there is ONE time a woman is entitled to special treatment, it is after she has her first baby.

No. You’re an adult, and most assuredly not a “princess.” How pathetic and gross for PP to even type those words.

NP Omg, it’s an expression. Shorthand for being waited on hand and foot (which new mothers DESERVE and which I myself received, thanks to supportive parents and ILs and DH). I don’t think PP means a crown was placed on her head and she went to a ball every night.