Why don’t U.S. hospitals let women sleep quietly for the night in the hospital after giving birth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.

The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.

2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.

Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.

Ugh. This is the problem. You aren’t a “princess” (how old are you?) and you aren’t entitled to be treated like one. You had a baby, just like millions of other women have done throughout history.

And millions of women have died during & shortly after giving birth. And infants have sustained birth injuries and died of SIDs.

Your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I gave birth in 2016, 2018 and 2022. No nurseries at all and these were at 2 different NoVA hospitals.

The first time I just thought this was my burden to bear. I tried and tried. I was so sleep deprived, shaking and I remember sobbing at nurses. It definitely teed off my postpartum depression. I had been in labor for days before my induction. And then my induction started at 7pm. I gave birth two days later at 6am. I truly just hadn't slept in days. I have few memories of the whole thing, just a lot of pain and exhaustion.

2nd and 3rd births I was armed with information. DH slept near the door and stopped any nurse that came near. I refused all colace and brought my own. DH would run out and tell nurses if I was up and nursing at 3am so that they could take my blood pressure or do whatever the eff they wanted during that time (maybe they need a button we can push to say we're awake?) so that they didn't wake me up 15 min after I went back to sleep. I checked out promptly at 24 hours and it was a struggle. At home I had a husband and 4 grandparents to care for me. My mom is a doctor. At home I felt like a princess and dh could properly care for me.

Speaking of which, my mom is an OB. As a kid I would stay at the hospital overnight sometimes (dad traveled and mom was on call. I slept in the on call room). There were nurseries filled with sweet sleeping babies. Dads and grandparents would sit there rocking babies for hours. Fast forward to when I gave birth and there were no rocking chairs. Only delivery rooms had them, not postpartum. Nope, in postpartum, you just had the screaming baby on mom 24/7. Baby was unable to leave the room, no rocking chairs. Dads couldn't even push the crib around the halls (moms could). I remember my inlaws trying to visit, but I was sick (vomiting) and they didn't want to be in the room with me. They wanted to see the baby but there wasn't anywhere else to go.

Ugh. This is the problem. You aren’t a “princess” (how old are you?) and you aren’t entitled to be treated like one. You had a baby, just like millions of other women have done throughout history.

Don’t be surprised when women want to exercise their reproductive rights; childbirth & childrearing are h*ll in this country thanks to people like you.

[Anonymous]

For generations, babies were sent to the nursery after birth so Mom could rest and recover from childbirth. Closing nurseries or limiting their use is simply a way for hospitals to cut costs and put the burden of care on the mother - who is often in no condition to care for a newborn having just given birth. Hospitals guilt new Moms by telling them they need to bond with their babies or establish breastfeeding. That’s nuts! What a new Mom really needs is time to sleep and heal, and only then will she be able to bond with the newborn.

I would be interested in learning how poor postpartum care contributes to PPD in new mothers.

[Anonymous]

If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

This thread is so anger-inducing.
Are there any nurses out there who care to comment on this widely shared experience? Do you just not like babies or nursing? Have you come across snowflake new mothers that just drive you up a wall? Understaffed? what is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Both times I delivered in Massachusetts I was at a hospital with a nursery. They talked me into using it for about 2 hours overnight between feedings (no formula). I was initially against it but they both spit up a lot after delivery. Especially with the first one, I was so nervous about whether she was breathing, etc., that I couldn’t rest at all when I felt like I was the only one paying attention to her. It was 2 hours that I slept and probably the only 2 hours I slept. Maybe you would decline to do this and that’s fine but I don’t think having a nursery option equates to people using it for like 8 hour shifts.

Typically you’re discharged when you’re well enough to be home. The first day (or more) can be a different beast altogether, depending on the delivery, so I don’t think it’s an unreasonable “crutch” to have while still recovering.

[Anonymous]

NP. I have 2 DDs. My oldest was born in 2016, and my younger DD was born at the start of the pandemic in 2020. Both were born at hospitals without nurseries, but the difference in experiences was like night and day. Due to Covid restrictions during my second delivery, the constant in and out of random hospital staff was negligible. Nurses were still in the room frequently to check vitals (uncomplicated vaginal deliveries both times, so even this started to feel excessive to me after the first 12 hours). But that was it. No additional visits from food service to take my meal orders (that was done via a hang tag left on my door and carried in by a nurse). No constant pop-ins from janitorial staff (I was instructed to call if service was needed). No “customer care specialist” dropping in every few hours to discuss my hospital experience. Etc.

I didn’t have any issues having my babies in the room with me, because both of mine slept well early on. It was the constant interruptions by multiple members of hospital staff the first time around that was so jarring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

There is an over sensitive looking for pushback component to this point of view. Mentioning it more than once or more with each shift is not aggressive. I wonder how much of this is anticipated resistance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Because I was awake for almost 36 hours for labor and delivery, still numb from an epidural, and needed to rest. I was in no condition to care for a newborn when I had no clue what I was doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in Europe who had a baby left in less than 24 hours.

Yes but don't they have home checks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the nurses that you won’t be breastfeeding at all, especially as a first time mom, they get angry & aggressive.

I found the opposite. Not angry bit not supportive of breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the annoyance with sleep disturbance from random nurse checks, that’s a separate issue. But those of you who are annoyed that you couldn’t send your baby away all night - what did you do when you get home? Did your support system get better? If so, why couldn’t you implement that support system in the hospital?

I could not imagine sending a healthy non-NICU-requiring baby away all night to strangers, right after it had been born, after it had been with me for 9 months. It sounds so weird to even write it down!

Because I was awake for almost 36 hours for labor and delivery, still numb from an epidural, and needed to rest. I was in no condition to care for a newborn when I had no clue what I was doing.

Honestly, what is wrong with people like PP?? I was also up for nearly 48 hours straight in labor, followed by an infection, delirium, and finally, a C-section. By the time they brought my son to me in recovery, I was still so numb I couldn't even sit up or even lift my head properly. My vision was blurry and I couldn't see my baby, hard as I tried. My arms didn't quite work well enough to hold him for very long, either. Thank god there was a nursery and I was able to sleep for a couple of hours right at the beginning. Then they kept waking me up to feed the baby, or because the nurse thought I should try "skin to skin" to bond with him, all while warning me that if I fell asleep I could accidentally kill him. It was pure torture. I left the hospital after 4 days, still so sleep deprived that I wasn't thinking straight, or really at all. Thank god I had my husband and mother to help me out. I really fear for women who don't have that support, or even the paltry few hours sleep I got thanks to the nursery in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, there is no reason why they can't take the babies to the nursery and bring them to the mom to nurse every 2-3 hours.

They put mine in a bassinet at the foot of my bed that I couldn't even reach without getting up, ensuring that I had to get out of bed whenever he fussed. Then peaced out with a warning not to fall asleep while holding him because he could fall from the hospital bed which is stupidly high.

The whole thing is so crazy, it's the worst possible way of doing things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


“The nursing staff is usually not the most educated lot in the medical profession.”



This is unnecessarily rude.

You all do realize that the nurses are only doing what the doctor orders, right? I imagine that for nurses waking up a patient at 3 am who hates them and thinks they’re stupid is not their idea of a good time either. If you have issues with the routine check-ins you should take it up with the doctor on call.

I don't think so. It is necessarily a factual statement. Most of them are not very scientific or educated for the work they do. Nurses are notoriously incompetent, poorly educated and unscientific. They are trained in some medical procedure but you cannot depend on them for due diligence. They are the factory workers of the hospital. Incapable of making sound independent decisions.

On the other hand, I have had very good experience with foreign-born and trained nurses.

Wow, you are so hateful and wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


“The nursing staff is usually not the most educated lot in the medical profession.”



This is unnecessarily rude.

You all do realize that the nurses are only doing what the doctor orders, right? I imagine that for nurses waking up a patient at 3 am who hates them and thinks they’re stupid is not their idea of a good time either. If you have issues with the routine check-ins you should take it up with the doctor on call.

I don't think so. It is necessarily a factual statement. Most of them are not very scientific or educated for the work they do. Nurses are notoriously incompetent, poorly educated and unscientific. They are trained in some medical procedure but you cannot depend on them for due diligence. They are the factory workers of the hospital. Incapable of making sound independent decisions.

On the other hand, I have had very good experience with foreign-born and trained nurses.

Wow, you are so hateful and wrong.

You are triggered and hateful yourelf. Are you a nurse? Stop trolling DCUM and attend to your patients!