This is getting ridiculous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some applicants and their parents need to know the real difference between a safety, a match and a reach. Don’t complain if all your reflections are from reaches or even what seemed to be “matches”.

People know the difference. Rejections are still happening across the full range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CS won't be the lucrative major it is within 5-10 years. ChatGPT can write and repair computer code on command -- within five seconds. No one is talking about it yet. CS jobs are in for a massive upheaval. It isn't the field it was 15 years ago. It isn't a safe job field anymore.

I don't know why you focus on CS. Actually, there are a ton of professional jobs impacted by Chat GPT and Generative AI. From a report just released:

"Researchers from OpenAI and the University of Pennsylvania argued in a new research paper that 80 percent of the US workforce could have at least 10 percent of their work tasks affected by the introduction of ChatGPT. The study found that mathematicians, interpreters, accountants, legal secretaries, writers and authors are some of the jobs to have the highest levels of exposure.

At the other end of the spectrum, more low-paying jobs like rail maintenance workers, cooks, mechanics, floor-layers, meat-packers and stonemasons had no exposure."

I would choose Data Science as a major if I went back to college. Of course, my child is an art major

As someone who has done data science before data science was a term, it does get old and doing it for decades is not enticing.

WTH does enticing have to do with any of this. Is CS "enticing".
Is grinding away in a law office enticing?
Is having to work all day with a bunch of investment banker a**holes enticing?

If you read dcum college threads one thing and only one thing matters...a high enough pay check.
So do your data science or your coding or your banking and be quiet.

If you look up the word "triggered" in the dictionary, this post should come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My impression is that the kids who are high achievers like your kid often end up at the same college as the ones who didn't put in as much effort. So what's the moral here? Kick up your heels and still end up at State U?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some applicants and their parents need to know the real difference between a safety, a match and a reach. Don’t complain if all your reflections are from reaches or even what seemed to be “matches”.

People know the difference. Rejections are still happening across the full range.

Agree. DP here. Remember also that 2020 deferral applicants still adversely affect the pool - until at least 2026. So, colleges and universities, especially those with in demand programs, have fewer places to put incoming students. Those deferrals, and their after effects, were unprecedented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some applicants and their parents need to know the real difference between a safety, a match and a reach. Don’t complain if all your reflections are from reaches or even what seemed to be “matches”.

People know the difference. Rejections are still happening across the full range.

Agree. DP here. Remember also that 2020 deferral applicants still adversely affect the pool - until at least 2026. So, colleges and universities, especially those with in demand programs, have fewer places to put incoming students. Those deferrals, and their after effects, were unprecedented.

What is your source in this? My kid’s T10 school allowed a huge number of originally 2023 and 2024 kids to gap/defer , but subsequent incoming classes have been exactly the same size as prior years. The impact IS being felt in the supersized college classes if 24 and 25. ( housing etc) but absolutely not by applicants in subsequent years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!

But, of course, don't do any of this unless you're genuinely motivated to do it, right? Because otherwise you're just another of those people we have too many of already whose only true motivations are self-aggrandizement and profit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!

But, of course, don't do any of this unless you're genuinely motivated to do it, right? Because otherwise you're just another of those people we have too many of already whose only true motivations are self-aggrandizement and profit.

Go away, you bitter, bitter person. Go try to make someone’s life a bit better if you think your motivations are so PURE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Yes to this. My kid wrote their supplemental essays about some of their community work but didn’t help. So with everything, mileage varies. But this is really good advice!

I agree with the above. Another related point... I strongly encourage your dc to find an already existing reputable non-profit that is in line with their passion which they can bring to their school (in many cases via a current faculty member as a sponsor). Case-in-point my business-minded dc (through a faculty member at dc's school) brought an established non-profit to her school which helps marginalized intercity women fill-out their tax returns. DC oversaw putting together the group of students, coordinating their training and ultimately bringing dc's team of students into the intercity to support these women.

Point being -- don't focus on inventing the wheel, chances are there are already established non-profits out there which your dc can bring to their school. They can find them through clubs, faculty and the internet. (In some cases the programs need an adult and that's where the faculty member can sponsor students). Full-disclosure, dd did this at boarding school in New England, i strongly encourage DMV parents to find these sort of programs for their kids to bring life-changing programs like this to their schools... they are out there!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Yes to this. My kid wrote their supplemental essays about some of their community work but didn’t help. So with everything, mileage varies. But this is really good advice!

I agree with the above. Another related point... I strongly encourage your dc to find an already existing reputable non-profit that is in line with their passion which they can bring to their school (in many cases via a current faculty member as a sponsor). Case-in-point my business-minded dc (through a faculty member at dc's school) brought an established non-profit to her school which helps marginalized intercity women fill-out their tax returns. DC oversaw putting together the group of students, coordinating their training and ultimately bringing dc's team of students into the intercity to support these women.

Point being -- don't focus on inventing the wheel, chances are there are already established non-profits out there which your dc can bring to their school. They can find them through clubs, faculty and the internet. (In some cases the programs need an adult and that's where the faculty member can sponsor students). Full-disclosure, dd did this at boarding school in New England, i strongly encourage DMV parents to find these sort of programs for their kids to bring life-changing programs like this to their schools... they are out there!!!

PP here - meant to point out I was suggesting bringing in outside established non-profit to their school community in lieu of founding a new non-profit. By spear-heading implementing an established program at dc's school, they may have a greater chance of impacting more families in need and create an enduring community at dc's school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Yes to this. My kid wrote their supplemental essays about some of their community work but didn’t help. So with everything, mileage varies. But this is really good advice!

I agree with the above. Another related point... I strongly encourage your dc to find an already existing reputable non-profit that is in line with their passion which they can bring to their school (in many cases via a current faculty member as a sponsor). Case-in-point my business-minded dc (through a faculty member at dc's school) brought an established non-profit to her school which helps marginalized intercity women fill-out their tax returns. DC oversaw putting together the group of students, coordinating their training and ultimately bringing dc's team of students into the intercity to support these women.

Point being -- don't focus on inventing the wheel, chances are there are already established non-profits out there which your dc can bring to their school. They can find them through clubs, faculty and the internet. (In some cases the programs need an adult and that's where the faculty member can sponsor students). Full-disclosure, dd did this at boarding school in New England, i strongly encourage DMV parents to find these sort of programs for their kids to bring life-changing programs like this to their schools... they are out there!!!

PP here - meant to point out I was suggesting bringing in outside established non-profit to their school community in lieu of founding a new non-profit. By spear-heading implementing an established program at dc's school, they may have a greater chance of impacting more families in need and create an enduring community at dc's school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My impression is that the kids who are high achievers like your kid often end up at the same college as the ones who didn't put in as much effort. So what's the moral here? Kick up your heels and still end up at State U?

+1

+1 we are following this strategy for our second kid. the first kid worked hard and got into state U. second one anyway likes chilling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!

But, of course, don't do any of this unless you're genuinely motivated to do it, right? Because otherwise you're just another of those people we have too many of already whose only true motivations are self-aggrandizement and profit.

Go away, you bitter, bitter person. Go try to make someone’s life a bit better if you think your motivations are so PURE!

That's what I thought I was trying to do by pointing out that focusing on getting a leg up on everyone else instead of on what we truly care about can easily lead to a life of shallow pursuits.

I don't think I'm the one who sounds bitter in this exchange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!

This is pretty creative trolling.

City IT departments are not looking for “help” from high school kids unless a parent is a council member and can force them to accept the kid. Startups are not looking for high school kids. And I say this as the owner of a small software company that gave my kid an internship during COVID.

99% of what’s written on DCUM about IT and CS is written by people who have never worked in the field and have no idea what they are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of Class of 2022 HS grad here — kid is CS major and admitted to 2 of the top 3 universities. I know most people do not listen to free advice, but for the ones who do, here it is….Focus your perfect stats kids HS years and application on two things. (1) What has your kid done to help others in their community? (2) How will they use the elite school education to help others in their community. It’s not about the perfect stats or the awards, although those help. It’s NOT about how well the essays are written — it’s about the HS experience affecting your kid in some way that they ended up genuinely helping others (not racking up hours at a food pantry), and what are they going to do beyond getting a good job that will change the world for the better?? Without the desire and evidence of having a positive impact on their community, my kid would have been at a safety school (which is really not as bad as some make it out to be!) Oh and leadership “titles” do not count as much as actual leadership — can your kid lead others without a formal title? I’m not saying that being President of a club is bad, just that the kid needs to do something after they get the title….or do lead others without a title. Make sure to have documentation — news articles etc.

Or “When others zig, your kid should zag.” Do something different. For CS, do not do robotics or build apps that no one uses. I cannot say what my kid did without doxxing, but this is also important. Why should a college pick your perfect stats kid who was President of their Robotics Club over the 100’s of other similar kids? What sets them apart?

I hope that makes sense!

Can you give some examples ?

Thank you for sharing ! This is helpful!
Sure…obviously these are not what my kid did but I hope they help.


(I will say that my personal advice is not to tutor at places that teach math or send too much time on a single club like robotics unless it’s one of the best in the country.)

Try to get a paid internship, but an unpaid one will do too. Often your city will need some help with their IT systems. If you build something for them, it will be used and will make you stand out from the crowd! If you can be paid for building it, even better. Startups often look for talented high schoolers, so scour the web looking for them, use LinkedIn or use parent’s network. Can you get a research position at a university? Again connections come into use here; not sure “cold calling” is the way to go. If you have an internship one summer, don’t do something different the next summer. Continuity is good when it comes to jobs and internships, as it shows your bosses liked you! That’s like a Letter of recommendation that you don’t submit!

Something I heard in an podcast was that elite colleges have tons of resources and they are looking for kids who will be motivated and have the skills to make the most of the resources. Your college application should show evidence that you have already done that in your high school years. Another tip: they say pay-to-play programs should not be reported on applications. I would say that they are sometimes OK. After my kid was rejected REA from one school, I watched a YouTube video by a kid who had been accepted there — he said one of his activities was pay-to-play. From then on, we decided to list a couple of pay-to-play activities on the application. My kid made sure to connect the dots in activity listings or essays to show how they used learnings from the paid activities to do something big in our community outside of the high school (so it was more than a check-the-box activity, KWIM?). And we made sure to get news articles about it. Local reporters are willing to highlight awesome things that kids are doing, so I would encourage reaching out.

For school year activities I would look at Math (either accelerating in coursework or other competitions like AIME) or CS competitions (USACO, etc)

Here is a heart blog — https://holdmeback.com/to-stand-out-start-by-looking-in/

The other thing colleges care about is what you have done for others? Have you stood up for a kid who might have been vulnerable? Have you done anything with DEI? The best thing will be to do it for at least 2 years — maybe have a book drive and connect it with something else in your story.

These things also help with Coke Scholars etc. Oh yeah, that reminds me — an excellent place to see what other kids have done and be inspired to come up with your own ideas is to read the bios of kids who win scholarships. Apply for all the scholarships you possibly can. Even if you do not get them, the practice writing essays pays off. And if you’re lucky, you will get one honor that will snowball!

An excellent book to read is How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport IIRC. I read it only recently — my kid had bought it in 9th grade, but I had never read it. Looking back at it, we did many of the things he says. Also listen to the Yale Admissions podcast. I forget what it’s called but it’s very good and we based a lot on that. College Coach is another one, but not all of their episodes are that helpful. There are other podcasts too.

Hope this helps! I could go on and on, but I have chores to do. Cheers!