For those without close-knit families
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Anonymous
| How do you cope? Both DH's and my families are not close knit. For me, I'm an only child, and my parents live 4000 miles away and never visit. For DH, his family, including his siblings, is as far from close-knit as possible, and they live 2500 miles away. Our extended families (cousins, aunts, and uncles) are like strangers, and live all over the country. We have no family here. I have difficulty coping with our lack of close-knit families, and feel bad that our child will not grow up with a close-knit loving extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) who enjoys spending time together. How do others in a similar situation cope? |
Anonymous
| Friends, family and our little family. It sucks but nothing you can do to change others. |
Anonymous
| Some "close-knit" families are essentially cults, with lots of drama and little time for others, such as neighbors and spouses. |
Anonymous
| My family is absolutely nuts -- they are perfect candidates for a reality TV show. I refuse to expose my children to them. |
Anonymous
lolz |
Anonymous
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I have no problem with it at all. One of my parents live a thousand miles away, and we visit a few times a year. The other parent is not part of my life. My in-laws live 3,000 miles away and we visit a couple of times a year.
Our friends are the family we choose, and we've got single friends, neighbors who've become friends, friends with kids our kids' ages, etc. Feels perfectly comfortable, though to be honest, I was never close with my parents when I lived with them. |
Anonymous
| We are a small family of three. Our son doesn't know his grandparents on my side father and his other set of grandparents are passed away. But we are completely satisfied with our little unit and our extended family and friends. We don't envy some of our friends who have large families and lots of drama. |
Anonymous
| DH family is extremely close. I feel trapped and suffocated. |
Anonymous
This times a thousand. On the one hand, they do look out for each other, but the drama and the nosiness and bossiness is suffocating to me. They all want to hang out every day. My family lives up and down the coast. I adore them, but we don't see each other much, and we give each other plenty of space and privacy. I wish they lived closer. |
Anonymous
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I don't really understand the question. I'm an only child. My mother was an only child. My father had three siblings. Frankly, one of the happiest days in my life was when my father's last parent died and it meant I'd never have to see my alleged "family" ever again.
They were the classic midwestern family, lots of relatives but no relationships. They all disliked each other and were just looking for an opportunity to take what they could get. The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was getting out from that. One of my cousins is really bright and we have basically agreed to pay for her college education so that she won't end up like the rest of my "family". I regularly visit with friends from college and graduate school. I play with their children and they will play with mine. Likewise with graduate school, it's just an expanded family. I have more in common with my coeducationals than I ever could with my high-school-educated "family". It's the 21st century. Life isn't based on bloodlines anymore. |
Anonymous
| you should of married someone with a large close knit family, but you didn't so just make a lot of friends, have more babies and be great parents that do the opposite of yours. Mayb your children will have a close knit family. |
Anonymous
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Create your own. With your own traditions. Help your kid learn how to pick and make good friends.
It works out. |
Anonymous
Ditto. I am focusing on creating a sense of family, tradition, and valuing friendships for my child. |
Anonymous
| Single mom with no family. I work hard to make sure my DD has chances to build relationships with my long term close friends and their families. My DD has a few "cousins" and "aunts" and we are grateful to have the opportunity to build our own unique family. |
Anonymous
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"They were the classic midwestern family, lots of relatives but no relationships. They all disliked each other and were just looking for an opportunity to take what they could get. "
THIS. MIL has a huge midwest family, they say they are close, but are not. It is plain as day, but she thinks everyone is as stupid as her. Consequently, DHs family says they are close when they want something. Its transparent and predictable, yet still nauseating. OP, make your family. Surround yourself with people who are NOT "Takers". |