MIL Intentionally Sends my Kids TONS of Candy

[Anonymous]

My children are very young elementary and are very sensitive to sugar -- they get just a little bit of candy or sugar and they are bouncing off the walls, and don't want to eat anything else. I am by no means anti-candy or anti-sugar, but DS has already had a cavity and DD is an underweight and very picky eater who would eat sugar all day every day if I let her. The basic point is that I am trying to take good care of the children and instill healthy eating habits. I certainly give them treats but only sparingly and I don't keep a big stash in the house. At this particular point in our lives, having a bunch of chocolate and candy stashed in the pantry just introduces whining and chaos that doesn't exist otherwise. MIL once brought over some chocolates (totally over the top king-sized chocolate bars) and saw that the kids were over the top happy, but then of course she wasn't around for the effects of the sugar rush or the spoiled appetites when it came time for dinner. I let it slide a time or two, chalking it up to the normal indulgences that grandmothers make on their children. But then I gently and politely explained to her that I really would prefer that she not send huge chocolates, candies and sugary sweets to the kids (which she mails them in care packages, directly to them), and she continues to do it. At first I thought she forgot, but then she laughed this bizarre laugh when I asked her about it again and now I feel like she is just doing it for sport. So unfortunately I have had to tell her that when a package from her arrives, that I am opening it first, removing the (copious amounts of) chocolates and candies, and then and only then giving the rest of what she's sent to the kids. I'm really annoyed that she's teeing up this ridiculous battle with me, and that she's so immature that she actually thinks this is funny.

[Anonymous]

Send her a box of road kill. I bet the care packages stop.

[Anonymous]

Go eat some of that chocolate. You will feel better.

[Anonymous]

She sends them "directly" to your kids? Last time I checked, you're the parent in the house and sign for/pick up mail. There's no way anyone "sends" my kids a package without me handling it first.

[Anonymous]

^^^ hit send by accident.

How did manage to send several packages. she "continued" to do it.

At this point, I wouldn't even tell her that I'm handling the packages. If you think she's playing a game with, then stop engaging with her.

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband to ask his mom to please stop, his wife appreciates her generosity but she's the one who has to deal with the resulting hyperactivity when the kids eat candy and now is the time to instill good eating habits.

If the kids ever visit your mil without you she probably becomes their personal Willie wonka. Then again maybe she needs to see how out if handle they can get because of candy.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn't respect your asking her to stop, then intercept the packages and monitor how much the kids actually get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't respect your asking her to stop, then intercept the packages and monitor how much the kids actually get.

+1. Every time my mom visits, she takes my kids to the store and buys them huge quantities of candy. I even buy my kids candy on occasion, but not pounds of it. As mean as I feel, I simply take away the bulk of it and throw it away. I tell my kids that they know they're not allowed to have that much candy because it's bad for them.

[Anonymous]

I told my in-laws to stop bringing candy, and they did. Sorry that your MIL is an asshole.

My mom always brought my DD a treat when she came to visit. Not candy necessarily, but a balloon or trinket. Once she came over, and my DD asked what she brought for her. I looked at my mom and said, "Well, I didn't create that expectation." My mom got the message and started spacing things out. Maybe point out to the MIL that she is making the kids thing she is just a human candy bowl as opposed to a person?

[Anonymous]

If she's ignoring you, don't waste time and energy on it. Keep a couple of pieces aside for treats and you and/or DH take the rest to your workplaces. Whenever I want to get rid of something, I put it in the office kitchen and it's gone in a half-hour. And then nothing is waste.

[Anonymous]

Work on controlling yourself and you kids, your MIL isn't under your control. Tell your kids they can't eat the whole candy bar but can have some after dinner. Just because she sends it doesn't mean you have to allow your kids to eat it. The fact that you can't deal with your kids is your issue, not your MIL's.

[Anonymous]

Don't even worry about it. Just throw it away or send it to the office.

One of the lawyers in my office has a MIL that does this. They just bag it all up and bring it to the office. It doesn't last too long in the break room.

[Anonymous]

Next time she visits, feed the kids a ton of candy, then ask MIL to take care of the kids for a few hours. Leave them with her.

[Anonymous]

My MIL always gives my DD cookies.

I think it's a cheap way to buy popularity.

[Anonymous]

Take out the treats and dole them out to your children over time. If you have the king size bar, cut off a bite for each of them and put the rest in a ziploc baggie. Give them a piece say, once a week. If your MIL is sending more than this, next time you see her tell her "Thank you so much for the treats. My friends at the office *LOVE* them." If she mentions that she bought them for the kids, just say "Really? Well, I mentioned that the kids can't have that much sugar so I save a few bites for their once/week treat and then send the rest to the office." She can then deal or stop sending them. When someone wants to push your buttons, the worst thing you can do is express exasperation because that's a sign they succeeded. If you don't let it bother you (or at least don't let her know that it bothers you), she'll stop spending money on sophomoric games.