Kids Vacationing with ILs?
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Anonymous
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So, DD, age 7 has invited to go away on a last minute beach vacation with her grandparents (my ILs), two cousins about her age and their dad, a single parent.
I'm nervous about this and don't think I want her to go. Too many variables, weird dynamics and feel like if I let her go away, I'll be worried about her (grandparents are lax sunblock appliers and think that rash guards are ugly) and DD herself sometimes clashes horribly with her older cousin. If I don't let her go, I'm a controlling witch who makes her DD miss out on memories. BTW, I have another child who wasn't invited because he is going to a half day camp in our community. My DH will be out of town on a business trip. He thinks if I let DD go away, it will be easier on me. Anyone BTDT? |
Anonymous
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Only you (with your husband) can decide this. How well can you count on DD to put on sunblock. I have 2 girls and one is as fanatical about it as you can be, and the other never thinks of it herself.
You don't say how long the trip is, but if it's for a long weekend I'd allow it, after giving DD a big talk about sunscreen and rash guards, and brainstorming and playing out what she can do when clashing with the older cousin. She'd have to call me every night. |
Anonymous
OP here. I think it would be for a long weekend, but here's the thing that drives me batty; my ILs are notoriously flaky when it comes to schedules and times. They run late for everything, forget/mix up times for events, are retired and have no set schedule, etc. So, they may tell me "four days at the beach," but then they'll decide to stay an extra few days and why doesn't DD extend her time away, etc.? DD is extremely fair skinned. Translucent, nearly. Blonde with blue eyes. Hates to wear sunblock and won't willingly apply it. The car trip is about 3 hours. Family condo in VA Beach. |
Anonymous
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Just say no, OP. Or, more appropriately, "no thanks."
You don't have to get into why it's a bad idea, though it sounds like it is. The logistical headache of their "no set schedule" sounds awful--there goes the "it's easier for you" argument, right there. Just say you were looking forward to the time with your kids and maybe you can all go down together another time. If giving that answer makes you a controlling witch in their eyes, all the more reason to say no. |
Anonymous
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OP -- i understand it can be hard to let go of your kid...but I don't see why this would be a problem.
Great way for kid to bond with grandparents and cousins...even if the cousins sometimes clash...that is family...and more importantly...it is life...have to learn how to deal with people... as long as you don't think g-parents will let your kid drown, smoke weed, or leave her alone for days at a time...i think u can not worry about a few days of spotty sunblock... my 8 yr old DD is about to go away for month with my mom...no she does not do everything the way WE DO...but i can live with it...i know she cares about her safety...she loves her...is responsible...and is invested in having a close and loving relationship with my DD...plus ...she didn't kill or nearly kill me growing up... signed a mommy who spent summers with her grandparents... |
Anonymous
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Personally I wouldn't. Maybe down the road. I would just say that you have plans to do some special Mom/Daughter things while son is at camp. If it was a last minute invite, it's not a big deal if you say no.
I would hate for her to get sunburned day 1 and then suffer the rest of the trip. Hopefully that wouldn't happen. I find the dynamics a bit hard with my DC's and their cousins, GPs try to split their time evenly but cousins are high-drama kids and their parents are always looking for a break. If your DD is not getting along with the cousin, would GPs help the situation? Sometimes it's awkward for GPs to discipline when one parent is there and the other isn't. |
Anonymous
I know this is going to sound snarkier than I mean it, but you would seriously not send your kid on a vacation on the slight chance she may get sunburned? Are we really that fragile these days... Lord -- our generation is raising a bunch of punks...are kids can't handle sunburn or sunblock... God Help them when life really hits them with a DOOZY! |
Anonymous
| Hey, if you're not going to send your child - can I send mine instead??? Sounds great, and kids can handle a variety of care givers. |
Anonymous
'FO REAL! |
Anonymous
| I have a kid that can take her place. Of course this is your decision but nothing you pointed out would concern me. I grew up the "fortunate one" from my cousins and frankly visiting them helped me appreciate my wonderful homelife. |
Anonymous
| I would think this would be great except it is at the beach. Trip to mountains, fine. Give dd a wide brim hat and some rollon sunblock. Beach with no moms? I would worry about sun exposure and drowning. But in reality she would prob have a good time and it would be good for her. The offer is very very nice. I would profusely thank them even if you say no. If you decide to send her, send her with cooliblock or other sun guarded swimsuits and hats. My sister does this, so much easier in terms of sunblock. |
Anonymous
| If you send ONLY swimsuit that are full body or at least covering chest and arms, she won't have any choice but to wear them. |
Anonymous
There are sunburns, and then there are sunburns. My kids are redheads and burn like you wouldn't believe. They burn so badly that they cannot wear clothing on the affected areas; they develop blisters on burnt skin; they get fevers and chills and cannot sleep. This hasn't happened much but the few times it has have been horrific. Sunburns are a huge issue for our kids in particular and if they were too young to manage the sunblock themselves and I couldn't count on an adult to do so, then I would think hard about allowing them to go to the beach. |
Anonymous
OP here. Nah, my MIL would buy her a "real" bathing suitat the beach. And, I am generally a hands off, low key mom...and kind of lazy, too. I suppose my personal issue is sun protection, as I am a fair skinned, reformed sun worshiper. Even I can take more sunshine than my DD. |
Anonymous
| No I wouldnt. |