Too focused on competitive sports around here

[Anonymous]

I was recently on vacation just outside Pittsburgh and saw lots of kids just playing in the street. They were getting plenty of exercise playing tag and other made up games, but there was no overly competitive sports component to it. They weren't even playing a specific sport. I spoke to friends who live there and they say that's a typical day and how the kids spend their time at school recess also.

Sadly, that's not how I see it at my DS's local MoCO elementary and the surrounding area. Seems like every boy (and to a lesser extent girl) wants to play basketball or soccer and it's always competitive and about winning. I think it's a function of how parents push their kids around here to excel at everything and not just let them be kids. My DS enjoys a game of basketball or soccer as much as the next kid, but he'd much rather just play random made up games. He just wants to have fun and isn't competitive about it. In fact, he feels bad because he isn't competitive like the other kids.

I think parents of kids who are of the competitive mindset will not understand, but it's hard if you have a non-competitive kid who feels like he doesn't fit into this ultra-competitive atmosphere. We shield him as much as we can from it and tell him there are plenty of other things to do besides sports to get exercise, i.e., walking, cycling, etc., but sometimes I just wish we lived away from the DC metro area where everything is so damn intense.

[Anonymous]

It might be a DC thing, but you're kidding yourself if you don't think that other communities have travel teams, competitive sports, etc. What do you think Friday Night Lights is all about? In Northern California, girls play softball year-round.

I suspect it's more the crowd you found yourself hanging with and similar crowds exist here. There are entire strata of leagues from the most competitive to the purely recreational. Just research it a bit further.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's not just here, it's everywhere. We were just visiting relatives in Indianapolis and they were complaining about the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was recently on vacation just outside Pittsburgh and saw lots of kids just playing in the street. They were getting plenty of exercise playing tag and other made up games, but there was no overly competitive sports component to it. They weren't even playing a specific sport. I spoke to friends who live there and they say that's a typical day and how the kids spend their time at school recess also.

Sadly, that's not how I see it at my DS's local MoCO elementary and the surrounding area. Seems like every boy (and to a lesser extent girl) wants to play basketball or soccer and it's always competitive and about winning. I think it's a function of how parents push their kids around here to excel at everything and not just let them be kids. My DS enjoys a game of basketball or soccer as much as the next kid, but he'd much rather just play random made up games. He just wants to have fun and isn't competitive about it. In fact, he feels bad because he isn't competitive like the other kids.

I think parents of kids who are of the competitive mindset will not understand, but it's hard if you have a non-competitive kid who feels like he doesn't fit into this ultra-competitive atmosphere. We shield him as much as we can from it and tell him there are plenty of other things to do besides sports to get exercise, i.e., walking, cycling, etc., but sometimes I just wish we lived away from the DC metro area where everything is so damn intense.

+1

[Anonymous]

With few exceptions, this is not a particular hotbed for producing profesional athletes or even scholar athletes. Baseball just had its draft and very few players from this area even though the baseball draft involves lots of players. I think what you are observing is that this is a high income area with lots of pushy parents, lots of private coaching as a result, and silly bragging rights among parents. I think there is probably more money here for private coaching and clubs than many other places but it does not strike me as any more competitive.

[Anonymous]

I actually think it's worse in other areas. People more focused on sports in smaller cities and towns and less on academics. In other areas though I guess they might not have the academic pressures as well or at least to the same extent. Also this area has a lot of options for sports that might not be available in other areas so more people take advantage of them. Some kids on our street still just play outside every day, but many others are involved in competitive sports all the time. I'm with you OP though. DC's in 1st grade and is decent at sports but can't even keep up anymore with the more competitive players.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it's worse in other areas. People more focused on sports in smaller cities and towns and less on academics. In other areas though I guess they might not have the academic pressures as well or at least to the same extent. Also this area has a lot of options for sports that might not be available in other areas so more people take advantage of them. Some kids on our street still just play outside every day, but many others are involved in competitive sports all the time. I'm with you OP though. DC's in 1st grade and is decent at sports but can't even keep up anymore with the more competitive players.

+1. OP, if you think it's bad here, try major cities in the south (Atlanta, Dallas, places in Florida) or in states like Ohio, where EVERYTHING, and I mean everything, is focused on football or other sports, even for very young kids. I always chalk it up to the fact that parents don't have the intellectual capacity to push them at anything else.

[Anonymous]

My high school took home two state championships a year. You couldn't even get acknowledgement if you only won your conference or regional. This is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might be a DC thing, but you're kidding yourself if you don't think that other communities have travel teams, competitive sports, etc. What do you think Friday Night Lights is all about? In Northern California, girls play softball year-round.

I suspect it's more the crowd you found yourself hanging with and similar crowds exist here. There are entire strata of leagues from the most competitive to the purely recreational. Just research it a bit further.

Friday Night Lights is about HIGH SCHOOL football. I got the impression OP was talking about all the organized so-called "elite" leagues for younger kids. It's a different thing to be intense in a sport as a teen vs. being suited up to kill starting at 8.

[Anonymous]

Naaa, it's not that bad here. Go to an area where the incomes and academic opportunities are reduced and it will all be about sports. Lower middle class communities in and around cities like Baltimore and Philly are much worse than anything around here.

[Anonymous]

DS will never be a competitive athlete so guess this is not something we have to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think it's worse in other areas. People more focused on sports in smaller cities and towns and less on academics. In other areas though I guess they might not have the academic pressures as well or at least to the same extent. Also this area has a lot of options for sports that might not be available in other areas so more people take advantage of them. Some kids on our street still just play outside every day, but many others are involved in competitive sports all the time. I'm with you OP though. DC's in 1st grade and is decent at sports but can't even keep up anymore with the more competitive players.

+1. OP, if you think it's bad here, try major cities in the south (Atlanta, Dallas, places in Florida) or in states like Ohio, where EVERYTHING, and I mean everything, is focused on football or other sports, even for very young kids. I always chalk it up to the fact that parents don't have the intellectual capacity to push them at anything else.

Came here to say exactly this. I'm from a small town in the Deep South where life revolves around high school and college athletics. If anything, I think D.C. goes too far in the opposite direction. It's o.k. to keep score. Kids learn a lot by losing. And for heavens sake, every child does not deserve a trophy.

But I disagree with the cheap shot at the parents' intellect. Many of those high school students excel academically. Another example of if it's not the way I think, it must be wrong.

[Anonymous]

Sports are a choice. There are so many other options.

It's the competitiveness with grades/honors/AP/etc. that I find bizarre.

[Anonymous]

People seem to overly schedule their kids around here, but I don't find the sports overly competitive. On my 8 yr old's teams, they don't keep score. No winning, no losing. Every kid gets to play the same amount, regardless of skill level or effort. For the kids who really like the game, it is frustrating to play with kids who appear to be more interested in the snack than the game.

The kids seem to do pickup games at school during recess. Football, soccer, kickball, 500, ect. Most of the kids who play aren't on teams outside skill.

[Anonymous]

They don't keep score officially, but the coaches are still writing down how many shots each kid scored and ranking their players. We still hear about who won the game and who scored what. In our local town, soccer instruction and games are offered 3 times a week for first graders and played during recess. It's also offered now year round and some first graders try out for travel teams. I didn't grow up in a sports family to know how often practices and games were growing up, but it just seems like a lot for that age group even without keeping score.