New to office: is there any way to say no to this?

[Anonymous]

Started a new job last week, its a small office and the culture seems to be very close knitted. I dont mind that, actually a nice change of pace for me but there is one down side that has come up. There are 10 ppl in the office (including me) and they all take lunch together and all rotate buying lunch. Each person provides lunch twice a month; most ppl order something in and a few ppl bring in home cooked lunches. I really want to opt out of this because I do errands 50 percent of the time on lunch and the other 50 percent of the time I really just want to eat the type of food I prefer. My husband thinks Im crazy and I just need to suck it up and participate or else its going to look awful. I want to be part of the team and I do feel that first impressions are important so Im torn. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Is it a financial hardship? Don't do it.

If it is not a financial hardship just do it.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is right.

[Anonymous]

I think you can do a mix of both. Contribute your days (unless financially unfeasable) but if you choose to do your own things 1+ days a week, I think that is fine. That would be a bit much for me as well.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

[Anonymous]

I would just opt out from the beginning, because if you do it for a few months and then decide you really don't want to and you try to back out then it will be even more awkward. It's not a big deal, just politely express that you aren't interested in participating in this. It seems like too much to me too. My husband used to participate in something like this and it wound up being very expensive (and fattening!). Leftovers as lunch is much better for one's figure lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

I am not OP but this is what is wrong with the workplace.

I am there to work-period. I am not there to fit in, play social club like I am in high school, or participate in elementary pizza parties. I am there to do a job and then I want to go home.

If I am entitled to a lunch break, then I don't need you telling me how to spend that time. This is not second grade.

Please stop wasting my time with all the nonsense. This is a job, not my life. You want the job done well, then let me do it and save all the BS because I am not interested.

Sorry OP. You will have to feel them out to see if you have to play along or not. I am so glad I don't have to play these stupid games.

[Anonymous]

I think you are stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

I am not OP but this is what is wrong with the workplace.

I am there to work-period. I am not there to fit in, play social club like I am in high school, or participate in elementary pizza parties. I am there to do a job and then I want to go home.

If I am entitled to a lunch break, then I don't need you telling me how to spend that time. This is not second grade.

Please stop wasting my time with all the nonsense. This is a job, not my life. You want the job done well, then let me do it and save all the BS because I am not interested.

Sorry OP. You will have to feel them out to see if you have to play along or not. I am so glad I don't have to play these stupid games.

You sound like a delight.

Sorry OP. I think your husband is right.

[Anonymous]

OP here! Thanks for the confirmation. I will def do it! Im really not a grump, just adjusting to a new office culture.

[Anonymous]

What??? You should be able to eat what you want for lunch. If it once or twice a month that would be one thing, but...
Can you bring yr own lunch but still eat with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Started a new job last week, its a small office and the culture seems to be very close knitted. I dont mind that, actually a nice change of pace for me but there is one down side that has come up. There are 10 ppl in the office (including me) and they all take lunch together and all rotate buying lunch. Each person provides lunch twice a month; most ppl order something in and a few ppl bring in home cooked lunches. I really want to opt out of this because I do errands 50 percent of the time on lunch and the other 50 percent of the time I really just want to eat the type of food I prefer. My husband thinks Im crazy and I just need to suck it up and participate or else its going to look awful. I want to be part of the team and I do feel that first impressions are important so Im torn. WWYD?

Ugh. I would not do it. I am also in a small office, 10 people not counting the boss, and about half the office goes to lunch together. I don't. I bring my lunch and spend my lunch time running errands or working out. Also, I see my coworkers all the time -- they are lovely people but I don't need to spend yet another 30 mins chatting with them. I do that enough as it is. It took a little while in the beginning to work things out so no one felt hurt. I went to lunch once or twice but then refused invitations after that, and people seemed to take it ok. I get teased occasionally about my lunchtime workout but I don't mind. It's better than skipping it!

[Anonymous]

If you want to like this job, do it.

[Anonymous]

You may end up liking it.

[Anonymous]

You provide your once or twice a month meal. What you do the days that it is not you to supply lunch is up to you. You can stay and eat lunch with the gang or excuse yourself to run errands. And no one is going to know if you say you have to run errands and instead go out for Pho or Panera or your the Banh Mi lunch wagon. Just explain that your family schedule doesn't leave you much time other than your lunch hour to get some errands done. But, if you eat with the gang 2-3 times a week and run errands 2-3 times a week, it sounds like a good compromise. You'll be supporting the good close-knit feel of the office and still have some time to yourself. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.