New to office: is there any way to say no to this?

[Anonymous]

Remember the episode of Friends where Rachel missed out on stuff bc of the impromptu work talk during smoke breaks? I'd give it a shot because you may miss out on work stuff and also find it's important for working relationships, especially in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right.

+1 after you are there a while and become more comfortable with the people, then you can opt out. I wouldn't do it until 3-6 months.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you have dietary restrictions so you can't participate. Eat with them once or twice a week with food you bring in, if you think you are missing out on something.

[Anonymous]

I would try to do it 2-4 days per week in the beginning. Just be upfront from the beginning that you run errands/go the gym during lunch on some days. I agree with the Rachel from friends story, you may miss out if you opt out completely. Over time you may be able to phase out lunch with colleagues without causing a rift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

I am not OP but this is what is wrong with the workplace.

I am there to work-period. I am not there to fit in, play social club like I am in high school, or participate in elementary pizza parties. I am there to do a job and then I want to go home.

If I am entitled to a lunch break, then I don't need you telling me how to spend that time. This is not second grade.

Please stop wasting my time with all the nonsense. This is a job, not my life. You want the job done well, then let me do it and save all the BS because I am not interested.
Sorry OP. You will have to feel them out to see if you have to play along or not. I am so glad I don't have to play these stupid games.

+1 My lunch time is my down time. I resent if people try to make it into social hour. I also have very specific food interests, and I don't eat meat, so half of the time, I probably wouldn't eat what other people choose.

Could you tell them that you have food sensitivities and really would prefer not to participate? Or tell them that you use your lunch time for other things. period.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. I am an introvert and lunchtime is my time to decompress from dealing with people all morning and gear up for the afternoon full of dealing with people. I can not be lunching socially every day. Maybe once a week.

Also, I am a very picky eater and really would hate having others decide what I'm supposed to eat.

[Anonymous]

You are a grown woman and can do what you want. It's not a sorority. Don't give in and just do what you want. Period.

[Anonymous]

It would be a problem for me because I'm a strict vegetarian. Surprising something like that isn't an issue among the 10. They wouldn't thank you for imposing something like that on them! Then again, you wouldn't want to lie about something like that and be found out.

It's a tricky one, OP ...

[Anonymous]

I would do it at least a few days a week in the beginning. Even if you don't want the workplace to be a social outlet, your coworkers will be more likely to go out of their way to help you and assist in getting you adjusted/up to speed on the job if you are friendly. Once you get to know people, do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Maybe join in in the beginning but save a day or two each week to opt out. As time goes on, opt out a little more. And then a little more. And then you're free! By then, you should have built up a nice working relationship with everyone. I bet there are others in the office who would also like to get out of this ritual and maybe when they see they don't need to do it all the time, they too will start opting out. Then only the ones who really want to do it will be left. And everyone will be a little happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

I am not OP but this is what is wrong with the workplace.

I am there to work-period. I am not there to fit in, play social club like I am in high school, or participate in elementary pizza parties. I am there to do a job and then I want to go home.

If I am entitled to a lunch break, then I don't need you telling me how to spend that time. This is not second grade.

Please stop wasting my time with all the nonsense. This is a job, not my life. You want the job done well, then let me do it and save all the BS because I am not interested.

Sorry OP. You will have to feel them out to see if you have to play along or not. I am so glad I don't have to play these stupid games.

Be sure to complain about how everyone in the DC area is so unfriendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Started a new job last week, its a small office and the culture seems to be very close knitted. I dont mind that, actually a nice change of pace for me but there is one down side that has come up. There are 10 ppl in the office (including me) and they all take lunch together and all rotate buying lunch. Each person provides lunch twice a month; most ppl order something in and a few ppl bring in home cooked lunches. I really want to opt out of this because I do errands 50 percent of the time on lunch and the other 50 percent of the time I really just want to eat the type of food I prefer. My husband thinks Im crazy and I just need to suck it up and participate or else its going to look awful. I want to be part of the team and I do feel that first impressions are important so Im torn. WWYD?

so you eat the free food but won't buy any WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to go along with the rest of the office if you want to fit in.

I am not OP but this is what is wrong with the workplace.

I am there to work-period. I am not there to fit in, play social club like I am in high school, or participate in elementary pizza parties. I am there to do a job and then I want to go home.

If I am entitled to a lunch break, then I don't need you telling me how to spend that time. This is not second grade.

Please stop wasting my time with all the nonsense. This is a job, not my life. You want the job done well, then let me do it and save all the BS because I am not interested.
Sorry OP. You will have to feel them out to see if you have to play along or not. I am so glad I don't have to play these stupid games.

+1 My lunch time is my down time. I resent if people try to make it into social hour. I also have very specific food interests, and I don't eat meat, so half of the time, I probably wouldn't eat what other people choose.

Could you tell them that you have food sensitivities and really would prefer not to participate? Or tell them that you use your lunch time for other things. period.

ok now i get it you're annoying

[Anonymous]

I understand needing to "fit in" and would probably do it. But, I think that would drive me crazy after awhile. I am so busy at home with child, family, etc. The last thing I want to worry about when I get to work is feeding the whole staff twice a month. And paying for it!! Wouldn't that be really expensive??

It reminds me of when I lived in a group house in college and the house voted to all chip in on the groceries. People would buy stuff I would never eat and didn't want to pay for. LIke vanilla ice cream! I wanted my own stuff on my own shelf in the refrigerator.

I do understand the need to chip in. I'd probably suck up and do it but would hope it would change.

[Anonymous]

Has nothing to do w/ friendliness IMO, it's a bit of passive-aggressive thing imposed on you and I wouldn't like it either for reasons having nothing to do with my personable demeanor.

One or 2 days a week, maybe. Beyond that we're back in 4th grade or something, not a world of independent responsible adults.