Ovulating and husband won't have sex

[Anonymous]

Major issues in relationship, many related to infertility. Seeing a marriage counselor but since I'm over 40, every month counts. How long do I wait? (We've undergone multiples IUIs and IVFs - 2 miscarriages.)

Is anyone else having similar issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Major issues in relationship, many related to infertility. Seeing a marriage counselor but since I'm over 40, every month counts. How long do I wait? (We've undergone multiples IUIs and IVFs - 2 miscarriages.)

Is anyone else having similar issues?

How long do you wait for what? What are you asking?

[Anonymous]

That's a good question. How long do I wait for him to come around? Every month is so precious.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to address this precise issue in therapy. Withholding sex to punish you because of infertility is awful, but withholding sex because he doesn't think the marriage will make it is another matter. If you are thinking of leaving over the issue, I would try to figure out whether to do so now so that you could move forward with plans to be a single parent ASAP.

[Anonymous]

has he given a reason that he doesn't want to have sex?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever become pregnant without any medical intervention (even if the pregnancy ended in miscarriage)?

[Anonymous]

OP here - I think the issue is b/c he doesn't think the marriage will make it. (also, b/c he doesn't think it will work, ie, that it will result in pregnancy.)

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should have a baby with him. At least not now. Does he want children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I think the issue is b/c he doesn't think the marriage will make it. (also, b/c he doesn't think it will work, ie, that it will result in pregnancy.)

Again, has intercourse ever resulted in pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

No, only through IUI and IVF.

[Anonymous]

Then I would back off. Your energy needs to be spent on working on your marriage and scheduling your next IVF.

[Anonymous]

OP - no, intercourse has never resulted in pregnancy

[Anonymous]

OP here - that's complicated. Dr's say my odds through IVF are almost the same as with intercourse, at this point. They recommend DE - husband doesn't feel comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if that is where your husband stands you need to hold off on trying. But, let's say you get pregnant and get divorced. Are you prepared to be a single mom? Do you have the finances,help,etc.? I don't mean to be rude,but i think bringing a baby into not only a failing marriage but also a marriage where one person doesn't want a baby,is a really terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - that's complicated. Dr's say my odds through IVF are almost the same as with intercourse, at this point. They recommend DE - husband doesn't feel comfortable.

You still have time for DE. Please work on your marriage first. Having a child isn't a given for anyone -- work on the relationship you have with that special man you married.