Ive missed my mom a long time

[Anonymous]

Its been 19 years since my mom died of breast cancer. She was 50 I was 25. I was lucky to have her as long as I did.

I dont feel sorry for myself not having a mother, because kids lose their moms very young, and that is infinitely worse. My mother was also a great friend to me, and a great support. I am an only child.

Still, I miss her at times in a poignant way that is pretty painful when it happens. I see her in dreams. Sometimes its just like visiting and I like those dreams best.

Its odd to me sometimes how very accustomed I have become to the reality of her perpetual absence, yet how easily can I recollect the feeling of her being alive. A very different feeling. Its remembering what its like to be me with her still on this planet that is at once distant and so immediate that tears pop out of my eyes.

Just thought I would share for those who miss their moms.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say she was really a great person and I wish my daughter could have her grandmother. She would be the coolest!!!

[Anonymous]

I understand and feel this way often. I lost my mom 13 yrs ago

[Anonymous]

Thanks, OP. Same for me but with my dad. He died exactly 20 years ago-May 21, 1993. He was 54, I was 26.

Thanks for putting in words what I often feel. I too often dream of having conversations with him and can remember how it felt to be me with him still in the world. The feeling of loss can still hit me as a painful, heavy feeling in my chest and gut. It is overwhelming but in a way comforting, I don't want to forget.

He was awesome, the best guy. I miss him everyday, wonder how he would have made life better for so many people if he had lived longer. He never got to meet his five grandchildren, never got to really enjoy all that he worked so hard for.

I am jealous of but also very happy for my friends who still have both parents.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Its as if something in me decides its time to let me feel the pain. And you are right, it does feel good in the sense that it feels right to feel the feeling. Fully.

Big Bummer Alert: My six and half year old daughter never knew my mother. I really cant let myself focus on that one. I feel like DD was robbed.

[Anonymous]

I lost my mom only about 2 years ago and I feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Op..I am sure you know this but have you been tested for bc gene? Now is the time to take care of yourself!! Sorry for your loss!!

[Anonymous]

The interesting thing about grieving is that as universal as it is you end up doing the bulk of it alone and feeling alone in the feeling. At least this is my experience. Maybe being an only child has made that more intense for me? No siblings to share it with?

And here i also have only one child- as you can imagine that makes me concerned. But I could only make the one! And Im so glad I did because she is the gift that keeps on giving!

[Anonymous]

My dad died 21 years ago when I was 20. It has been hurting a lot more this year. Don't know why.

[Anonymous]

My dad has been gone about two and a half years. He got to meet and spend about a week with his first and only grandchild, my daughter, who was just a few months old at the time. OP, you and several PPs explained so well how that feeling comes back and hurts so much yet is also a relief in a way that's hard to understand. I am still trying to accept the fact that he is gone and never coming back. I have taught my daughter to recognize him in pictures and when she points to him and smiles, it's like my heart shatters all over again.

[Anonymous]

This post is weirdly comforting. Feel the exact same way about my dad--who I lost six years ago. Miss him so much and one of the great sadnesses of my life is that he did not get to meet his twin granddaughters. He would have been wild about them--and they would have been crazy about him. Going through a tough time at work right now and really wish he was here/-he was a very calming person. U find myself imagining conversations with him. Grieving is really a lifelong process.

[Anonymous]

My mom has been gone for 6 years. I miss her every day. And, yeah, my kid got robbed, too. It stinks. There are so many "it could have been worse" scenarios out there, but I'm also okay having a bit of a sad mope from time to time because no matter how old you are or how it happens, losing a loved parent is a tough thing.

I see my mom in my son's mischevious smile and it fills me with joy and breaks my heart all at once.

[Anonymous]

My mom died when I was 14 and I"m 52 now, so how many years is that? Suffice it to say I've lived much longer without her than with her. I still miss her and think about her almost every day, but it's less of a conscious thing and more like an essential awareness of not having her. After so many years being the daughter without a mother is part of my identity. Luckily it's not my entire identity anymore, but the hole will never completely be filled.

[Anonymous]

My father died 5 years ago. I occasionally dream that he is the first person to come back to life after being dead for such a long time. Is is a very vivid dream and has the "aha" feeling of solving a riddle- my brain has a hard time accepting his death as a possibility, so here's its answer for me. He WAS dead, but it was just temporary. It is an oddly comforting dream since I get to spend time with him in it. It is funny that such an inevitable part of life is so profound to those left behind.

[Anonymous]

My mom died about two years ago. She also had breast cancer. She was amazing. I was 35 and my kids were 5 and 6. She was 68 and had been dg with the cancer 2.5 years earlier. She spent lots of time with them and they were very close. I feel lucky to have had her for 35 years, but like others I feel like my children were robbed.

I dream about her often, too. The dreams are very comforting.

Hugs to everyone.