Should I request dd to be put in a different class next year from an extremely disruptive child?
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Anonymous
| dd is in the same class this year with an extremely violent and disruptive child. Will I be on the shit list to school administration if I request dd to be separated from him next year? dd is in elementary school. |
Anonymous
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If the kids have a history of clashing, then yes you can request and admins will usually take this into account.
If you are just afraid of the kid that probably doesn't count. |
Anonymous
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If the kid was specifically violent towards DD, then I would assume that it's already likely they'll be separated. If they end up in the same classroom, you could ask to switch when you find out and base it on who the teacher is and the other students. If you don't switch and they're together, I would discuss concerns with the teacher ASAP. If the kid is generally just a pain to everyone, I probably wouldn't request but I know others who do and I don't think it earns them a spot on the shit list.
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Anonymous
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Here's a possibly more diplomatic approach to take.
It sound like this disruptive child is not directly harassing your child, but just in general has a number of behavior issues that cause drama in the classroom? Sometimes (but not always) there are certain issues that child has, that can not be shared with you due to privacy reasons. They have to put this child in some classroom, because everyone has the right to an education. However, "everyone" also includes your child. So, diplomatic approach is to ask for a meeting with the principal, and don't make it about your child, but the classroom in general. Give SPECIFIC examples about how the numerous times the teacher has to stop teaching and deal with the disruptive child has a negative impact on the classroom. Suggest that your observations indicate that this teacher (and whatever teacher get this disruptive kid next year) needs extra support in the classroom. In my kids school, there are aides whose entire job is to work with one or two kids. They are responsible for these kids, and that frees up the teacher to take care of the rest of the classroom. I've seen HUGE improvement in the behavior of some kids that have this kind of intervention. So, everybody wins: you kid, other kids, disruptive kid, teacher. So, don't ask for this kid to be "not your problem" next year by insisting on your kid being separated. Advocate for something that will be good for ALL the children in the school. |
Anonymous
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OP: Thanks!
He is not specifically harassing dd but he did hit her "by accident" before and destroy her things. The school administrator and teachers all know about him. He got into numerous fights with different students. He also refuses to go to classes, *sigh. dd is tiny and she won't stand a chance if he jumps her. I admit I am selfish and I just want dd to be safe and away from the drama next year. |
Anonymous
| OP, under those circumstances, your request is not likely to be honored. |
Anonymous
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OP: 13:57, I understand. I want to know if it's totally out of line to ask.
dd is a rule follower and she's tasked by one of the teachers to report any fights/misbehaviours caused by this child. dd is happy to do this for the teacher but I have told her not to. I know it seems crazy to tell dd not to do what the teacher says, but I just don't like this dynamics. I know she will be retaliated by this kid if she tattletales. |
Anonymous
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Got to ask---how old are these children?
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Anonymous
| OP: 8-9. |
Anonymous
this seems to me really out of line. this is the theacher's job. maybe the child needs a dedicated aid. asking a tiny girl to report on the behavior of a chid who has already hit her and has had fights with others at school seems really bad to me. I would talk to the teacher about it, telling her that her child is not going to report anything and do not ever ask again. as for being in another class, is the situation is that bad, why not. as in "let's take turns" |
Anonymous
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Please send a formal request that your DD be in a different class than this other child BEFORE the end of the school year. It will be nigh impossible to change AFTER the school year starts. It helps if incident reports were filed, but even if there are none, you can just state the facts.
Trust me, I've been there, done that, with a violent child who targeted my son and other children in Kindergarten. Schools are used to dealing with that kind of problem. They are not obligated to honor such a request in the class make up, but they will certainly try. In our case, they placed my son in a different class. However, since many parents had requested the same thing (!), the requests could not all be complied with. There will be no fallout. Unfortunately, this happens frequently. |
Anonymous
| My child was put with a particular child year-after-year. because that child had requested it. The special needs child considered my child a friendly face, and the teachers wanted to help the other child get along. I felt as though my child's class placement had been left to others. (It had been 4 yrs) I went to the Principal with a request never mentioning the other child. I requested a particular (considered difficult) teacher whom I thought they would never couple w/a special needs child. I may have been the only one in school history to "request" this unpopular teacher ~ |
Anonymous
| The school usually honors those requests (unless it is everyone!) They give the disruptive ones to the better discipline/more experienced teachers. |
Anonymous
Same here. So frustrating. I noticed that none of the PTA moms special snowflakes got this assignment. |
Anonymous
| Sometimes I think a truly random process would work best and be fair. |