Should I request dd to be put in a different class next year from an extremely disruptive child?

[Anonymous]

"The school administrator and teachers all know about him. He got into numerous fights with different students. He also refuses to go to classes, *sigh."

OP - I urge you to consider compassion for the child and his family while you try to help your own child. Speaking from experience, it can take years for even the most diligent and responsible parents to get a good diagnosis and treatment plan for a child like this. Think how you would feel if this were your child behaving so horribly and you didn't know how to help him, and on top of that you and your child lost friends and were shunned because of his behavior that you were trying to hard to fix.

[Anonymous]

OP: Thank you! I will put in a formal request next week.

15:46, totally agree! I think he definitely needs a one-to-one aide. His behavior is just not normal. I am not going to get into the specifics but it is way more than kicking teachers/students.

[Anonymous]

17:42, I do feel bad about this and that's why I ask.

I really think that even the teachers are not sure how to handle this. I am pretty sure his current teacher is just counting down the days till he moves on to the next grade.

[Anonymous]

Tell them your dd doesn't feel safe being in the same class and use specifics even if most weren't directly towards your child. Maybe if you like her current teacher show her first. You could say something like Sally said the 15 things Wes did in class and she doesn't feel safe and you want to ensure they are in different classes next year. Since Sally is only 8 years old and you are getting this information second hand you have the story straight. Teacher will probably thank you. I don't think it is your place to suggest the 1 on 1 to the head.

[Anonymous]

Also if Sally is smaller/weaker than most of the other kids in class you could mention this as well as a reason to keep them separate. If you document in writing your concerns and they put the kids together and something bad happens between the two of them ie lets say he destroyed her backpack it would be embarassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them your dd doesn't feel safe being in the same class and use specifics even if most weren't directly towards your child. Maybe if you like her current teacher show her first. You could say something like Sally said the 15 things Wes did in class and she doesn't feel safe and you want to ensure they are in different classes next year. Since Sally is only 8 years old and you are getting this information second hand you have the story straight. Teacher will probably thank you. I don't think it is your place to suggest the 1 on 1 to the head.

I agree. I think it would be completely inappropriate to go the the administration and discuss what you (as a parent, not an educational professional) think another child needs. The school can't by law discuss the other child's issues with you. It has to be about your child. Your child DOES have a right to feel safe in her classroom. If she does not feel safe around this particular child because of past incidents or she feels she is put in the middle when teachers ask her to report, then that's a reason to request a different assignment. Be factual and focus on your child.

[Anonymous]

Discuss your child's needs. Admin can read between the lines and the more parents who make requests like these the more likely they will get an aide for this child, as it is impossible to put everyone else in a separate class.

This should have been dealt with sooner so parents wouldn't need to make requests. They swept it under the rug instead of being proactive and now they are going to have to deal with the blow back.

[Anonymous]

OP: 13:57, I understand. I want to know if it's totally out of line to ask.

dd is a rule follower and she's tasked by one of the teachers to report any fights/misbehaviours caused by this child. dd is happy to do this for the teacher but I have told her not to.

I know it seems crazy to tell dd not to do what the teacher says, but I just don't like this dynamics. I know she will be retaliated by this kid if she tattletales.

13:57 again. No, it's never out of line to ask. I just don't want you to get your hopes up. It's likely, with the situation you describe, many parents have made or will make such a request. Creating the class list from year to year is a crazy puzzle like process to balance, and some jurisdictions (like the district I used to work in) routinely turn down requests unless circumstances were extreme between two students. That said, ask anyway. As PPs have mentioned, focus on the issue of your child's experience. Also, be sure to mention your child has been asked to "report" on this other child, and how that contributes to your concerns. That is incredibly unprofessional of the teacher to ask her to do that. At the very least, even if they can't accommodate your request, at least they can address that issue.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I made a keep separate request last year for this year and it was honored. I had never made a request before. I can't imagine that they were surprised to receive my request. The kid had many instances of punching, kicking, choking etc. other kids in the class. I requested a conference at one point because I could not believe what my child was saying about what happened in school. I went in to ask the teacher if my child was making things up and the teacher said no that my child was accurate about what was going on in school. She assured me that the school was following its stated discipline policies. That was good to hear, but since it didn't seem to make any difference, I went ahead and made the request.

[Anonymous]

Since your child has been in a class with this gem for a year, I think it's fair to make the request. (Meaning that if they hadn't been in the same class yet, it would be a different thing to preemptively ask for a different class.) Everyone at that school gets that someone has to share a room and about 7 hours per day with that kid, but it's not fair for your child to have to do it more than one year, or at least not two years in a row. Good luck!