Anxiety and preschooler???

[Anonymous]

I'm posting this here because I'm at a bit of a loss. My son is almost 4. We've had a rough year; I had preterm labor and was in and out of hospital, on bedrest, etc. Usually without warning. DS had several different care situations going on to cover; at his preschool, grandma and daycare. I SAHM, so it was really hard on him. Since the baby has arrived our lives are so much better. DS1 us home with me most days, just has preschool 3 mornings a week.

My concern is tht he still shows signs of anxiety; biting his nails, occassional nightmare, very upset if I have to go to the doctors. It's been 3 months. His preschool teacher recommended we talk to our pediatrician. I feel like with more time, anda loving, predictable routine, my son will regain his trust in the world.

Thoughts on this? Could it just be general anxiety?? How should I proceed?

[Anonymous]

biting his nails, occassional nightmare, very upset if I have to go to the doctors.

These are concerning to be sure, but to me, it doesn't sound very alarming, but what can typically be expected under those circumstances.

Still, maybe contact Child Find and just have him evaluated generally and maybe they can point you in the right direction.

GL OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if Child Find screens for anxiety. I would go through your pediatrician for a recommendation.

He may get passed this in time or it may be he has anxiety and the timing of it was coincidental. I hope it gets better.

[Anonymous]

my four year old has anxiety. Child Find is not the right program for this. I saw a Child Psychologist who specializes in childhood anxiety. She saw me, the mom, and not my son. She said at that age it is more helpful to meet with parents and give them tips and strategies vs. meeting with the child. She gave me a lot of great advice and I also read some helpful books. My kid's anxiety changes in form all the time, but he is generally a very anxious kid. The older he gets the better he gets since now he can understand more and we can talk through things. It's still tough though and there are days when he drives me bananas. Some strategies that have helped us are using a timer for certain things so he knows when a change is coming. He does yoga for preschoolers and then we work on the "bumblebee breath." We do a "three breath hug" now and then to calm him down. We have done simple reward charts and he would get stickers for things like "I was able to keep calm." When he's on the verge of freaking I would say " let's take some deep breaths and try to "keep calm" and then he would get a sticker on his chart. He felt really proud of himself afterwards. At night time we had our routine and I put several night lights in his room which helped. The dream lite helped too. Planning ahead has helped a lot too. Maybe say something like "mommy has to go to the doctor tomorrow." explain why you have to go and how it's good to go the doctor. maybe read a book about it.

Honestly i think a lot of it will get better with time. I can see my son is much better now, but he's still a very anxious kid compared to his peers. Sometimes we talk about his "silly brain" when he gets really upset about something or can't stop doing a behavior. The psychologist suggested this idea to me, but it didn't really start working until a couple months ago because he didn't understand before.

HTH

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it can be incredibly helpful to talk to a child psychologist who specializes in anxiety, as a PP mentioned. My son started seeing a play therapist at about that age and it has been the best decision. As PP mentioned, most therapy for this age group is training the parents--though ours worked with our son, too. She was more insightful and specific in her advice because she really understood him. Everything you'll learn is good practice parenting stuff that would work with any child.

All that said... what you have described sounds fairly normal to me. What I mean by normal is that all children have trouble with major life transitions. An intense kid, or a kid who relies on a routine or who has any tendency toward anxiety, will likely take longer to recover and might show some of the signs you describe. But that doesn't mean that he has generalized anxiety. Would you say that your son's anxiety is interfering with his ability to learn and develop? with his ability to interact with others? with his happiness on a daily basis? Those are important questions.

Still, I think it is great that you want to help your son and I am fully confident that a therapist can give you ideas--I know that ours has been a life saver. But I also think that you should keep in mind that he has been through a lot of big changes and that kids respond differently to something like that.

[Anonymous]

OP here,
Can anyone recommend a child psychologist or play based therapist for this in Montgimery County?? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

JMD Counseling - Michelle Dodge

[Anonymous]

Anxious parents, anxious kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anxious parents, anxious kids.

You obviously know NOTHING about anxiety.

[Anonymous]

He sounds more upset than anxious IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxious parents, anxious kids.

You obviously know NOTHING about anxiety.

Yes actually, I do. Personally. I've struggled with it for years and I have a child. And I know that the children of depressed or anxious parents are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. Maybe you are the one who needs to educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxious parents, anxious kids.

You obviously know NOTHING about anxiety.

Yes actually, I do. Personally. I've struggled with it for years and I have a child. And I know that the children of depressed or anxious parents are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. Maybe you are the one who needs to educate yourself.

I don't doubt that there is a greater risk of anxiety, ADHD, and depression in kids with parents who suffer from the same. I know first hand as well. But the way you stated it wasn't really helpful to the OP. Your point was not clear, nor did you offer any advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my four year old has anxiety. Child Find is not the right program for this. I saw a Child Psychologist who specializes in childhood anxiety. She saw me, the mom, and not my son. She said at that age it is more helpful to meet with parents and give them tips and strategies vs. meeting with the child. She gave me a lot of great advice and I also read some helpful books. My kid's anxiety changes in form all the time, but he is generally a very anxious kid. The older he gets the better he gets since now he can understand more and we can talk through things. It's still tough though and there are days when he drives me bananas. Some strategies that have helped us are using a timer for certain things so he knows when a change is coming. He does yoga for preschoolers and then we work on the "bumblebee breath." We do a "three breath hug" now and then to calm him down. We have done simple reward charts and he would get stickers for things like "I was able to keep calm." When he's on the verge of freaking I would say " let's take some deep breaths and try to "keep calm" and then he would get a sticker on his chart. He felt really proud of himself afterwards. At night time we had our routine and I put several night lights in his room which helped. The dream lite helped too. Planning ahead has helped a lot too. Maybe say something like "mommy has to go to the doctor tomorrow." explain why you have to go and how it's good to go the doctor. maybe read a book about it.

Honestly i think a lot of it will get better with time. I can see my son is much better now, but he's still a very anxious kid compared to his peers. Sometimes we talk about his "silly brain" when he gets really upset about something or can't stop doing a behavior. The psychologist suggested this idea to me, but it didn't really start working until a couple months ago because he didn't understand before.

HTH

That's awesome suggestions. I think these strategies would help my ds4 too. Who does your child see?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxious parents, anxious kids.

You obviously know NOTHING about anxiety.

Yes actually, I do. Personally. I've struggled with it for years and I have a child. And I know that the children of depressed or anxious parents are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. Maybe you are the one who needs to educate yourself.

Woah -- chill out people. We're here to help each other. shesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anxious parents, anxious kids.

You obviously know NOTHING about anxiety.

Yes actually, I do. Personally. I've struggled with it for years and I have a child. And I know that the children of depressed or anxious parents are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. Maybe you are the one who needs to educate yourself.

I don't doubt that there is a greater risk of anxiety, ADHD, and depression in kids with parents who suffer from the same. I know first hand as well. But the way you stated it wasn't really helpful to the OP. Your point was not clear, nor did you offer any advice.

My advice would be for the OP to assess whether she and her spouse have anxiety issues and whether that is part of the problem for her child before or in addition to seeking help for her child. Help for the child alone is often not enough because it not addressing a major root of the problem.