how long should a mom be away from her 2 year old?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are moving in a few weeks into a new house, but we will be "homeless" for 3 weeks during the process. I'm staying with a friend in
their one bedroom apartment in town while my husband will take our toddler to his parents, 4 hours away, as he is able to tele-commute to work during this time.
My son loves his grandparents and will really enjoy his time with his cousins who also live close-by. My in-laws offered to keep our son an extra week, while we get situated in the new house.
What would you do in my situation--? I was thinking if it was just three week, doing face-time every night might suffice....but I think 4 weeks is way too long for a toddler to be away from his mother.
My husband is telling me to just relax and enjoy the only period in my life where I may got such an extended break to myself. The longest I've been away from my son, was about 5 days, when my husband and I took a vacation together, when he was about a year old.

[Anonymous]

3 weeks!? That is a long time.

What are your other options?

[Anonymous]

Four hours isn't so far that you couldn't go there on the weekends. That's what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Four hours isn't so far that you couldn't go there on the weekends. That's what I would do.

Agreed. 4 weeks would be a really long time to be away. And I say this as a mom who left my 2 & 5 year olds for 2 weeks for a personal vacation, so I'm really not at ALL anti time away from your kid.

[Anonymous]

i would do weekends with your child. facetime daily or as mich as you can during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Four hours isn't so far that you couldn't go there on the weekends. That's what I would do.

Agreed. I'd also take the 3 Fridays off from work. Can you spare 3 vacation days? That way it's just 4 days away before 3 days together. I would definitely not add the 4th week.

[Anonymous]

I'd have him stay for 4 weeks and go visit in the middle on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

The longest we've gone away since DC arrived was 7 days. By the end of about day 5 I was definitely ready to hug my little one. I'd go up on the weekends if I were you, 4 weeks totally without seeing DC at this age is quite a bit. 4 hours isn't a bad drive.

[Anonymous]

Id go up on most weekends too. It would feel weird to me to just be hanging around on the weekends by myself for several weekends when my family was a few hours away.

I am not against separating from the kids, and have easily gone on multiple business trips. But 4 weeks feels long When you dont really have to. We have family 4 weeks away, and in your situation it would never occur to me to stay witth them, we would rent some place in town. I have a 2 year old and he changes so much in just a couple weeks, he might be fine but i would miss him terribly for 4 weeks!

[Anonymous]

4 weeks? Man, i have never been away from my kids for more than one night in 5 years. I realize I am insane.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP's- at least do weekends. Kids get very out of sorts when their routine is switched up, and then to add on an extended period away from one parent could cause them to develop some different or usual behaviors (such as acting out, feeling more separation anxiety, etc).

[Anonymous]

Why can't you stay with his family?

[Anonymous]

I'd visit on the middle weekend, but would take the week kid-free to unpack and get settled in your new home. Trying to move into a new home with a toddler is challenging- trust me - and the process will be less painful on everyone if you can get as much done as possible without him there.

[Anonymous]

if you think 4 weeks will feel long to you, imagine what that will feel like to a 2 year old who doesn't understand time and that the separation will end at some point? i'd try not to make it such a long time apart.

[Anonymous]

My partner relocated a month before the rest of the family when my daughter was almost two. It was hard on everyone, especially the adults. We did a long weekend visit in the middle of the month. I think you are right to try and keep it at 3w instead of 4. For my family, after a couple weeks we just really wanted to be together, and I would have gladly set up a new house with a toddler underfoot, rather than having the family seperated for another week.

(I will suck, but you'll be fine and your son will be totally fine.)