Hypercompetiveness in Real Life?

[Anonymous]

I am often struck by the contrast of what I read on this forum and what I observe in real life in terms of the ultra competive, AAP obsessed, Tiger mom types out there. I really just don't see it around me - and I confess, I am somewhat of an AAP obsessed parent myself and I feel alone in this, like I have to play it cool and pretend I don't care around other parents because they behave as if it is totally not on their radar. Even the parents with AAP kids say stuff like, "Oh, THAT is what that test was for, I had no idea..."

Is everyone BSing? or is my child just at a laid back, non-competitive school? Does everyone act non-chalant IRL and then come here to this forum to let out their crazy, competitive side?

Am I alone in this observation?

[Anonymous]

I am the parent of 2 AAP kids. I have seen a small subset of "tiger mom-like" AAP parents at our Center school, but it is absolutely a small number. The rest of us are not hypercompetitive and obsessed.

[Anonymous]

I think the hypercompetitive ones can all be found here, LOL. We're in N Arlington and zoned for one of the Tiger Parent elementary schools. DC attends a different, countywide school. The parents of kids we know who go to this school are actually perfectly nice normal people but we hear stories about some of the crazies. A small minority whose voice gets amplified here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the parent of 2 AAP kids. I have seen a small subset of "tiger mom-like" AAP parents at our Center school, but it is absolutely a small number. The rest of us are not hypercompetitive and obsessed.

But if your child is already in AAP, then I guess there is nothing to be obsessed about (unless you also want to your kid to be at the top of their AAP class.) But even among parents of 2nd graders, I hear zero conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the parent of 2 AAP kids. I have seen a small subset of "tiger mom-like" AAP parents at our Center school, but it is absolutely a small number. The rest of us are not hypercompetitive and obsessed.

But if your child is already in AAP, then I guess there is nothing to be obsessed about (unless you also want to your kid to be at the top of their AAP class.) But even among parents of 2nd graders, I hear zero conversation about it.

Are you kidding? Once kids are in AAP the shift focuses to "it's all about TJ."

[Anonymous]

oooooh. I'm not that far along yet.

[Anonymous]

They are definitely at Longfellow and several of its feeder schools.

[Anonymous]

even the hypercompetitive moms are smart enough to know not to act that way in personal, face to face discussion.
Some act like "oh, I don't even pay attention to all that foolishness."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:even the hypercompetitive moms are smart enough to know not to act that way in personal, face to face discussion.
Some act like "oh, I don't even pay attention to all that foolishness."

Yeah, I am one of those. Is there a code word or secret club that you join where you allowed to discuss these things in person without being tagged a pariah?

[Anonymous]

Asian moms amongst ourselves talk about AAP. It's okay because we know we want the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I find Asian moms are more honest this way. What happens to the family and child though if the child doesn't get in for an Asian family?

[Anonymous]

I have never seen anything like what I have observed on this forum in real life, and I highly value academic achievement in my children.

I lurk on here because it is just so hilarious to read about "top ivies" and "Mrs. Simpson" and complaints of how the children are being force fed information instead of being taught how to think (bless my mom and teachers for force feeding me the alphabet and multiplication tables!), et cetera. My personal favorite is how posters believe that TJ both dumbs down its standards to accept black (5 out of approximately 200 applicants) and Hispanic (13 out of approximately 250 applicants) children while the Asian children apparently "cheat" by studying more.

The complete lack of perspective is strange, mesmerizing, and hilarious. I just can't tear my eyes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never seen anything like what I have observed on this forum in real life, and I highly value academic achievement in my children.

I lurk on here because it is just so hilarious to read about "top ivies" and "Mrs. Simpson" and complaints of how the children are being force fed information instead of being taught how to think (bless my mom and teachers for force feeding me the alphabet and multiplication tables!), et cetera. My personal favorite is how posters believe that TJ both dumbs down its standards to accept black (5 out of approximately 200 applicants) and Hispanic (13 out of approximately 250 applicants) children while the Asian children apparently "cheat" by studying more.

The complete lack of perspective is strange, mesmerizing, and hilarious. I just can't tear my eyes away.

I know what you mean. It's so addictive. I know it's a total waste of time but I can't help myself. I do actually believe in real life that people are much more normal. There must be just a small number of crazies that post constantly on here making it seem like there are a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asian moms amongst ourselves talk about AAP. It's okay because we know we want the same thing.

I belong to an ethnic group stereotyped for being underachievers - so maybe that is why no one talks to me about this things....

[Anonymous]

Agree it's hard to tear yourself away. I have seen some of these psycho moms at my kids' schools so I do know they exist. I don't have the energy or desire to keep up, which may be why my kids are still sane.