Neighbor invited me to her church but we're Jewish - WWYD

[Anonymous]

I have recently moved to a home near a church and the pastor's wife, a neighbor, has been really nice to me. She invited me to services there, but I am Jewish and don't really feel very comfortable going to church services. When she asked me I said, "thank you, we're Jewish but it is a possibility...?" I was kind of taken off-guard. I SO don't want to appear rude or unfriendly in any way, as this neighbor has been so sweet and welcoming.

The church does offer occasional kids' activities (which I think are non-religious) so perhaps we could attend one of those instead to show our good will?

[Anonymous]

Just assume she meant well. Besides, my church has interfaith interaction with a local synagogue a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently moved to a home near a church and the pastor's wife, a neighbor, has been really nice to me. She invited me to services there, but I am Jewish and don't really feel very comfortable going to church services. When she asked me I said, "thank you, we're Jewish but it is a possibility...?" I was kind of taken off-guard. I SO don't want to appear rude or unfriendly in any way, as this neighbor has been so sweet and welcoming.

The church does offer occasional kids' activities (which I think are non-religious) so perhaps we could attend one of those instead to show our good will?

This. Sounds like the perfect solution.

[Anonymous]

We've been "prayed for" by well meaning Christians--annoying!!!

[Anonymous]

I would take it in the spirit of welcoming you to the neighborhood, and either politely decline "I really appreciate the invitation, but I'm not comfortable attending services outside of my own faith", or attend a less religious event at the church and then reciprocate in some way. I'm not Jewish, so I'm having trouble coming up with a specific example that's appropriate in April, but inviting them to join you for a Seder, or to bring their kids to the Purim carnival, or come over for Sufganiyah on Hanukkah would be examples of traditions that some of my Jewish friends have shared with our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been "prayed for" by well meaning Christians--annoying!!!

Why would this annoy you? Are you that jaded?

[Anonymous]

PP ---Praying for me to "find a relationship with Jesus?!?!" I'll take prayers of health but "path to heaven?!?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take it in the spirit of welcoming you to the neighborhood, and either politely decline "I really appreciate the invitation, but I'm not comfortable attending services outside of my own faith", or attend a less religious event at the church and then reciprocate in some way. I'm not Jewish, so I'm having trouble coming up with a specific example that's appropriate in April, but inviting them to join you for a Seder, or to bring their kids to the Purim carnival, or come over for Sufganiyah on Hanukkah would be examples of traditions that some of my Jewish friends have shared with our family.

Back again to say, I'm not naive enough to assume that it was definitely offered in the spirit of welcoming you to the neighborhood, just that I'd assume best intentions while giving a response that basically says "I'm happy for us to learn about each other's cultures, but I am very happy in my faith and have pretty clear boundaries". If their intention was to proselytize it will become clear shortly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently moved to a home near a church and the pastor's wife, a neighbor, has been really nice to me. She invited me to services there, but I am Jewish and don't really feel very comfortable going to church services. When she asked me I said, "thank you, we're Jewish but it is a possibility...?" I was kind of taken off-guard. I SO don't want to appear rude or unfriendly in any way, as this neighbor has been so sweet and welcoming.

The church does offer occasional kids' activities (which I think are non-religious) so perhaps we could attend one of those instead to show our good will?

This. Sounds like the perfect solution.

+1 I can't imagine anyone -- especially not a pastor's wife -- would be offended or think you were unfriendly for not attending church services. Especially since you've said you're Jewish, but even if you were Christian, I think only the most aggressive people would throw that out to a new neighbor and have any expectations at all. If you want to check out the kid stuff, or other non-religious community stuff, that would be nice but if it is outside your comfort zone, that is okay, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP ---Praying for me to "find a relationship with Jesus?!?!" I'll take prayers of health but "path to heaven?!?"

Not the PP, but you didn't mention the "to find a relationship with Jesus" part in your initial post. You said said that Christians have "prayed for" you, which I took to mean that when you were going through a particular struggle, such as illness, job loss, death in the family, etc. they prayed for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP ---Praying for me to "find a relationship with Jesus?!?!" I'll take prayers of health but "path to heaven?!?"

You didn't mention that part... You just said they prayed for you. I'll take people's prayer. But, yeah, a prayer that I accept their deity would bug me too.

[Anonymous]

Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

[Anonymous]

I think what you said is fine. I would not feel obligated to send my child to a church run activity. I'm sure she understands that Jews don't go to church or participate in church activities.

[Anonymous]

I am a Christian and have gone to numerous services, sat shiva, gone to many bar/bat mitzvahs and participated in seders. Jesus was Jewish and I was raised to believe Jewish and Gentiles both studied and believed in the Old Testament. We both believe God is going to come to Earth. Christians just believe he's coming again. All that having been said, we share 75% of the same beliefs and just have different ways of doing so. That's cool. I don't follow anything 100% so, 75% is pretty excellent for me and my friends. My parents always said "if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

I'd enjoy yourself at the children's activities while standing firm in your faith. Be firm with her up front. I hope this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

I have found in the South (for the sake of this discussion, I consider this area to have a Southern culture -religon-wise) many evangelical types view Jews as "unevolved Christians."