Neighbor invited me to her church but we're Jewish - WWYD

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why it would be rude or unfriendly to politely decline. I think you are over thinking it. You can certainly not have a friendly relationship without attending their church.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't ever make the mistake of saying "it's a possibility" to a Christian who wants to convert you.
I am not saying that she wants to convert you, but you left the door open

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm Jewish too. If I had been you when the pastor's wife invited me, I'd have said, "Oh, thank you, but we're Jewish and have found a temple we like already." If she seemed upset I'd ask if she could give us a tour of her church when it's decorated for Christmas, because it'd be pretty. But I don't want to and will not sit through a service praying to Jesus. So I won't do that.

But you're kind of stuck because you gave an open-ended answer. So now she may approach you again. If it were me having given the answer you gave, when she comes back a second time, I'd say, "Thanks! We're Jewish, and already found a comfortable place of worship. But thank you for the offer. Would you like to come over for a BBQ next Sunday?" (and then because I'm me, I'd make a joke about BBQing pork). Your "place of worship" could be your house, a temple, whatever. You know us Jews - we'll bust out a prayer anywhere.

I wouldn't do the children's activities at the church, because even though they're always saying it's non-religious, it's usually like, "Let's color! YAY!" and then passing out a picture of Jesus or Mary to color.

[Anonymous]

If you're uncomfortable with it, just don't go. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

May I help you out with a couple of things? You've attended multiple bris. Also, you did NOT sit shiva. You payed a shiva call, which means visiting someone while THEY were sitting shiva. Big distinction.

On to the point of your post ... I understand what you're saying about being open to attending Jewish ceremonies and how it didn't change beliefs and let you see something different to you. But I've had several Christians get excited at the idea of getting me to convert, and I've NEVER seen OR heard of any Jewish person trying to talk a non-Jew into crossing over to our side. It's not that I, as a Jewish person, am against going to a Church service. It's that I am all set in my religion, and am not interested in a hard sell to switch religious carriers. AT&Tstein is working out just fine for me.

[Anonymous]

+10000000000000000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

May I help you out with a couple of things? You've attended multiple bris. Also, you did NOT sit shiva. You payed a shiva call, which means visiting someone while THEY were sitting shiva. Big distinction.

On to the point of your post ... I understand what you're saying about being open to attending Jewish ceremonies and how it didn't change beliefs and let you see something different to you. But I've had several Christians get excited at the idea of getting me to convert, and I've NEVER seen OR heard of any Jewish person trying to talk a non-Jew into crossing over to our side. It's not that I, as a Jewish person, am against going to a Church service. It's that I am all set in my religion, and am not interested in a hard sell to switch religious carriers. AT&Tstein is working out just fine for me.

Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

May I help you out with a couple of things? You've attended multiple bris. Also, you did NOT sit shiva. You payed a shiva call, which means visiting someone while THEY were sitting shiva. Big distinction.

On to the point of your post ... I understand what you're saying about being open to attending Jewish ceremonies and how it didn't change beliefs and let you see something different to you. But I've had several Christians get excited at the idea of getting me to convert, and I've NEVER seen OR heard of any Jewish person trying to talk a non-Jew into crossing over to our side. It's not that I, as a Jewish person, am against going to a Church service. It's that I am all set in my religion, and am not interested in a hard sell to switch religious carriers. AT&Tstein is working out just fine for me.

As a Christian of the non-proselytizing type, I'd also add that there's a difference between inviting non-Christians to specific events and inviting them to church in general. I assume that my Jewish friends will come to my wedding and my funeral, both of which are in the context of a service. Inviting someone to a Bris,or call on you while you sit shiva, or to attend your child's bar mitzvah or wedding seems similar.

But inviting someone to church, or synagogue for that matter, on a regular sabbath day (whenever that may be) is a different thing. It's an invitation to join your religious community. I think it was fine for the pastor in the original post to ask, since it seems like they didn't know at that point whether the OP was Christian, and it is reasonable to think that a newcomer might be looking for a congregation, but generally asking someone to come to church with you is an act of evangelism.

[Anonymous]

If you think your neighbor was of the proselytizing type, politely decline, but compliment her on her plus sign necklace. You may also consider inviting her to some sort of interfaith mathematics club may - that may be a bridge you both can cross.

[Anonymous]

Go. It's great theatre.

[Anonymous]

I would not think that she old be offended. Ask them over for dinner or coffee instead.

[Anonymous]

Would not old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

May I help you out with a couple of things? You've attended multiple bris. Also, you did NOT sit shiva. You payed a shiva call, which means visiting someone while THEY were sitting shiva. Big distinction.

On to the point of your post ... I understand what you're saying about being open to attending Jewish ceremonies and how it didn't change beliefs and let you see something different to you. But I've had several Christians get excited at the idea of getting me to convert, and I've NEVER seen OR heard of any Jewish person trying to talk a non-Jew into crossing over to our side. It's not that I, as a Jewish person, am against going to a Church service. It's that I am all set in my religion, and am not interested in a hard sell to switch religious carriers. AT&Tstein is working out just fine for me.

As a Christian of the non-proselytizing type, I'd also add that there's a difference between inviting non-Christians to specific events and inviting them to church in general. I assume that my Jewish friends will come to my wedding and my funeral, both of which are in the context of a service. Inviting someone to a Bris,or call on you while you sit shiva, or to attend your child's bar mitzvah or wedding seems similar.

But inviting someone to church, or synagogue for that matter, on a regular sabbath day (whenever that may be) is a different thing. It's an invitation to join your religious community. I think it was fine for the pastor in the original post to ask, since it seems like they didn't know at that point whether the OP was Christian, and it is reasonable to think that a newcomer might be looking for a congregation, but generally asking someone to come to church with you is an act of evangelism.

Jewish poster here. Exactly. Thanks for putting this so well. I wouldn't have a problem attending a church service (and have, several times), as long as the boundaries and context are clear. But "church shopping" is out of the question. It's not fair to us and it's not really fair the to Christian community either. The neighbor in OP's post may have to put time and energy into asking several times because it's unclear to her whether OP is interested in going to church for church's sake. Not fair to the neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't ever make the mistake of saying "it's a possibility" to a Christian who wants to convert you.
I am not saying that she wants to convert you, but you left the door open

^^Agree^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really? Tell her what you want to tell her. If you don't want to attend, then tell her so and why. As a non Jew, I've sat Shiva, attended baby Bric's (sp?) and Synagogue without feeling offended. Going to Synagogue did not change my beliefs, it was a way to learn about something different than what I live daily.

May I help you out with a couple of things? You've attended multiple bris. Also, you did NOT sit shiva. You payed a shiva call, which means visiting someone while THEY were sitting shiva. Big distinction.

On to the point of your post ... I understand what you're saying about being open to attending Jewish ceremonies and how it didn't change beliefs and let you see something different to you. But I've had several Christians get excited at the idea of getting me to convert, and I've NEVER seen OR heard of any Jewish person trying to talk a non-Jew into crossing over to our side. It's not that I, as a Jewish person, am against going to a Church service. It's that I am all set in my religion, and am not interested in a hard sell to switch religious carriers. AT&Tstein is working out just fine for me.

As a Christian of the non-proselytizing type, I'd also add that there's a difference between inviting non-Christians to specific events and inviting them to church in general. I assume that my Jewish friends will come to my wedding and my funeral, both of which are in the context of a service. Inviting someone to a Bris,or call on you while you sit shiva, or to attend your child's bar mitzvah or wedding seems similar.

But inviting someone to church, or synagogue for that matter, on a regular sabbath day (whenever that may be) is a different thing. It's an invitation to join your religious community. I think it was fine for the pastor in the original post to ask, since it seems like they didn't know at that point whether the OP was Christian, and it is reasonable to think that a newcomer might be looking for a congregation, but generally asking someone to come to church with you is an act of evangelism.

Agreed. It's totally different if it's a life-cycle event and the person experiencing the event is (understandably) incorporating their religion into the ceremony. I agree that the pastor's wife just sounded friendly and was trying to be welcoming by offering an invitation to the community that she knows best- her church. As an atheist, I would not attend a church service because the sole purpose is to pray to a God I do not believe in. I would not be offended as long as the invitation was not repeated after I indicated that I was not Christian/religious.