I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

That was a great update, OP. You are clearly a very thoughtful person who has raised a son who sounds lovely.

In case this helps, one of my DD’s close friends ended up in a very similar situation a few years ago and has done brilliantly. They were applying from a top public instead of a top private, but the admissions results for their cohort sound similar. DD’s friend had a 4.0 unweighted and a ridiculously high weighted GPA as she’d taken something like 14 APs, including the highest levels of math and physics, plus she had a 2350 on the SAT and had great ECs and high level internships. She applied to 12 schools and got into 1, ranked somewhere between 75 and 100 on the USNWR. As best as we could figure, she was indistinguishable on paper from thousands of other high-achieving Asian girls, and her applications did not convey just how special a person she is. She also probably didn’t show the requisite interest, and like your son, didn’t add any rural SLACs to the list as I’d urged her to. She has absolutely killed it at college, and is very well known among the faculty. She’s had unbelievable internships and summer jobs and is weighing multiple high salary offers upon graduation. She also fell in love with international travel, so has to decide whether she wants to stay in the states or work overseas. Plus she’s loved her college years. Talented kids like this will flourish wherever they end up no matter how bleak things seem during admissions season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would change the character and quality of the education. Not everyone wants to go to a University with 28,000 undergraduates. And last time I checked, there was no right to an Ivy education. HPY could fill their incoming classes with valedictorians, twice over. Any mindset that equates hard work with entitlement to admission is warped on the front end.

I keep hearing this.. Sure. I don't have a right to their education. I should also have the right to not have my tax $ subsidize them, shouldn't I? Why not remove the non-profit nature of these institutions? After all, they operate like a secret cabal, with ambiguous admission rules that pretty much guarantees that 99.99% of all children (i.e. future tax payers) will not benefit from them. Why not pull the tax benefit? Their fees will go up, you say? Sure. Let it. Let it quadruple for all I care. See how quickly they drop all their "URM" and "first-gen" pretenses.

[Anonymous]

There are some schools with April 1 deadlines that he could still apply to. For example, the University of Iowa and University of Kansas are still open, and they’re both decent schools in fun college towns.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wish I knew you IRL, you seem really grounded and that your have your stuff together. Your kid is very fortunate. I feel like I'm surrounded by ivy or bust types and that gets old quick(who happen to not be very grounded and not really have their stuff together, except maybe living vicariously through their children). But you don't seem like that. GL to you and your kid.

We are going through something very similar as you, and it sucks. It hurts to see them hurt. It is an important chapter in their life, and we know it. This too shall pass. At least I keep trying to tell myself that! You are not alone. I hope you keep writing and updating us, so the small boat of us can commiserate.

[Anonymous]

Wow - that must have been devastating for your son OP. i thought it was bad when our now adult son applied to colleges 6 years ago but it sounds way worse now.

Things have worked out great for him (thriving in grad school) although he did not get into any of his reach schools. Like your son, this was despite being very qualified academics wise (Thank Heavens, i made him apply to at least 4-5 safeties and spend junior summer demonstrating clear and high-level interest in his chosen subject). Maybe those safeties would not be considered safe anymore. Many have pointed out that demand is far outweighed by supply of well qualified candidates.

I am wondering whether there is something else at play here: the common application. Perhaps so many students are applying to literally scores of elite reach and upper target schools that these colleges are rejecting more students then they really should (students more likely to attend various colleges and might other wise be waitlisted if there were not huge numbers of high achievers applying but with no real intention of attending if they get into an uber elite top 10 Harvard/ Princeton/ Yale.

The colleges will probably eventually figure this out, and hopefully place restrictions on number of colleges applied to. It is really a Catch 22 though as students seem to need to apply to many schools to have a chance ot getting in anywhere.

I agree with whoever made the earlier comment that the tertiary admission system is way less stressful n other countries where it goes straight down the line on academic achievements and tertiary entrance scores. However, there is so much profound inequality in the US that that system could penalize students from low socio economic backgrounds even more.

There is so much injustice in the US college system for many youth from both advantaged and disadvantaged backgrounds. I think it is morally right that Biden is forgiving the college debts of students at third rate crappy universities who ended up cheated from a decent Education and acquire huge debts.

I am sorry that your son faced such great disappointment after he worked so hard to play by the rules of the game - especially after you invested so much in his education. I hope that he is able to do well at his safety school and then transfer to one where he can flourish in his chosen field.

Fixing the US college admission system is way beyond my pay scale as a mother 😅. All we can do is support and encourage our children, which you have done.

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP, just wanted to thank you for your thoughtful updates and tell you I think your son sounds great (his volunteer work, etc.). I know you are proud of him and will continue to be proud of him, regardless of what he decides/where he goes next year.

(You and your son sound lightyears away from the entitled parent who posted about how her DD “only” got into Grinnell, W&M Monroe, etc. I wish your family the best.)

[Anonymous]

I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Demonstrating commitment" is total BS. Even a job does not require this and it provides a livelihood. The college admission is racketeering.

Guys, you are all understandably frustrated and embittered, but using hyperbole like "racketeering" is not helpful and also untrue. The colleges are doing their best in a difficult situation. And let's face it, for the most part we are speaking of 50-100 of the 3,000 colleges in the US, so maybe that is the issue?

I will simply ask this: what could the colleges do that would make it better for everyone?

Use their funding streams to massively increase capacity instead of installing gold-plated swimming pools?

See, this is exactly what I am talking about. Pejorative hyperbole without any facts. “Massively increase capacity” like all that takes is diverting the cost of a “gold-plated swimming pool” to a different budget line. Total nonsense.

How about a practical, adult conversation, with practical, adult suggestions?

Ok. Practically, adultly massively increase capacity? Seriously - there is no reason why "elite" institutions should accept so few candidates. They clearly get more applicants who meet their standards than they can accept. There's no reason to assume that accepting more students would drive down the quality of education they can provide, and the cost per student would go down.

Pick a college and describe me the steps for increasing capacity. Be specific.

Please note plenty of selected colleges have done this recently, most notably Yale. It’s not easy to do. Any time you increase a giant infrastructure it puts pressure on every aspect of it. Dorms, dining halls, classrooms, network capacity, parking, ...it ain’t just “let another 5,000 kids attend!”

And also, fort the record, many of these colleges have increased limitlessly by putting courseware online for free. But you don’t want that. You want the elite sheepskin and you want them to expand just enough to let in your kid then stop so the elite ness is not diluted any further. It’s total hypocrisy.

No. That's not my job, nor is it germane to my argument, because we already know it can be done. The University of Toronto has over 61,000 students, and a 43% acceptance rate. The average GPA for admitted students is 3.8 (compare with Harvard's 3.9). They have similarly strict SAT/ACT averages. But when it became clear over the past decade that many students who would exceed all those requirements were being turned away for lack of space, UoT INCREASED their student capacity by 20,000, and they're STILL one of the top universities worldwide, even though some of the "great unwashed masses" who meet those requirements can study there.

Just because a program isn't artificially restricted to a tiny number of students doesn't make it elite. If you actually care about the quality of the education, then that won't change even if more students have access to it. But if you actually care about making sure that the "elite sheepskin" (ew) is reserved for a few students based primarily on money and access to opportunity, then you and I have a fundamentally different idea of the purpose of higher education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rejected from Tulane with a 1580?! What in the world.

It’s only out of 1600 right? (The did away with the writing section that they were doing for a while?)

How can a kid with 1580/1600 be rejected from Tulane?!

Rejected easily if he didn't show the love.

-did he do the "optional" why Tulane essay? If not - rejected. They make it known it's absolutely NOT optional.
-did he interview?
-did he attend multiple virtual activities (they offered dozens)?

If he did all the above, then we can question the rejection. If he didn't do even 1 of the three- a rejection, even with his stats, is very understandable given Tulane's clear expectations of demonstrated interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

Hmm. Every single authority on college admissions disagrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know people want to think this year is “very” different but it’s not. This is the same story every year. People want to blame COVID or No SATs.

But it’s not different.

Kids realize their likely schools were actually reaches every year, counselors act aghast every year.

Hmm. Every single authority on college admissions disagrees with you.

I do not know many kids in this age group but know of 4 who took a gap year this year. Were applications way up with lots of kids taking a gap year rather than having their first year in the middle of a pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Are there any rolling admit schools your kid might be interested in? I know St. John's College has always been rolling. I am not sure about other SLACs.

I told my kid that focusing on Ivies and other top schools was a gamble. Her choices were SLACs and Ivies, got into 1 SLAC. She is extremely happy with her experience and outcome.

There may be more SLACs out there with rolling admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any rolling admit schools your kid might be interested in? I know St. John's College has always been rolling. I am not sure about other SLACs.

I told my kid that focusing on Ivies and other top schools was a gamble. Her choices were SLACs and Ivies, got into 1 SLAC. She is extremely happy with her experience and outcome.

There may be more SLACs out there with rolling admissions.

PP again. Here's a list of rolling admit schools. If there's a school your kid's interested in, I'd verify the rolling status with the school.

https://blog.prepscholar.com/colleges-with-rolling-admissions

[Anonymous]

OP - is schooling in your spouse's foreign country an option?

We are in a similar boat in which I am Asian American and my spouse is from the EU. We are planning on sending children to my spouse's alma mater unless DC gets merit aid from a top choice in the US. We figured this is a good option especially since professional schooling in the US requires a bachelor's first.

Congratulate your son on his likely - he can always go to his likely (or a CC) and transfer but know that hard work and perseverance will pay off in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep hearing this.. Sure. I don't have a right to their education. I should also have the right to not have my tax $ subsidize them, shouldn't I? Why not remove the non-profit nature of these institutions? After all, they operate like a secret cabal, with ambiguous admission rules that pretty much guarantees that 99.99% of all children (i.e. future tax payers) will not benefit from them. Why not pull the tax benefit? Their fees will go up, you say? Sure. Let it. Let it quadruple for all I care. See how quickly they drop all their "URM" and "first-gen" pretenses.

This stupid argument again. Can we make the same rules for all non-profits? Because there are plenty of churches that I don't like how they operate, and political PACs, and country clubs, and the NRA... but that's not how any of this works. Your vitriolic statement indicates a complete lack of understanding of basic civics.