Nice White Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crummy schools have had trillions dumped into them over the last 40 years. People do not change. Whether it’s culture or genetics, I don’t know. What I do know is that the needle NEVER moves. All the so called improvements are fake, the result of cheating, data juking and other manipulating schemes. And we need stop painting inner city teachers and admins as selfless saints. The most unqualified POS six-figure admins I’ve ever dealt with were inner city admins.

I worked in one of those schools. The problem was not the teachers or the admin or the curriculum or the students. The problem was poverty, which schools don't cause and can't solve alone. No amount of money put into a school for anything at all is going to help a kid who goes home to a crack house every day, who is abused, hungry, whose mom leaves him locked out of the house all night while she has "clients" in, and so on. All that really happens and it happens right here in Northern Virginia. That's why the needle doesn't move. It's people that need money, not schools.

Exactly. And that so many folks are ready to blame the kids for their situation says all you need to know about the people throwing stones.

+1

And someone was advocating to just give extra SNAP cards to these parents and eliminate FARM

As a former poor who now is a rich white NoVa DCUMer, here's why SNAP increases don't work. My mom was/is stupid. She could not budget and SNAP benefits never ran through the end of the month. That last week, I was hungry and so were my sibs. So school lunch was it. All I ate for 5 days each month. This was before the breakfast program. I'm old, formally poor and now insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to the podcast, I realized I’m a Rob, though I honestly try to get buy-in from all parent groups. Last year I raised over $160k for the nonprofit that runs out after care program. Our PTA raises about $40-80k a year and our school is small. The PTA pays for all school field trips, some after school clubs for kids income based and repairs and needs for the school. I really think it is a class issue. Not race. Our school is 30/30/30/10. 30% Black, 30% Latino, 30% white, 4% Asian 6% mixed race. You have the diverse affluent families of color and then the kids who live in public housing. Our school is a mix of $1M homes and community housing developments. I really think people struggle when there are social and economic issues.

My son completed kindergarten. He picked up on the fact that some of his friends were experiencing homelessness, some had unstable home environments, some had food insecurity. With the pandemic, some of his friends disappeared from class on Zoom. Some kids told the class and teacher no adults were at home because they were at work.

As hard as I tried to build a friendship with friends of different social classes, there were issues like smoking and riding in the car without car seats. I felt judgey. It’s really hard that I need to have conversations with my son about homelessness and food insecurity. He told me about kids falling asleep in class or not having a bed. I do think it’s good to realize not everyone has the same privileged life. But throwing money at the issues doesn’t solve the root causes of poverty, inequality or equity.

Dear Rob: This was me. Food insecure. Abused. Never homeless but sometimes without running water and electricity (heat/cool). And guess what; I run a DC nonprofit and am a NoVa volunteer. I have an advanced degree and my kids blend with yours perfectly. Here's the thing; parents like you saw something in me. They took me places, purchased food for me and sometimes clothes. They provided these things to me subtly so I "saved face." I fell asleep in class b/c I was caring for younger sibs and guess what, the teacher offered to tutor me after school (I took the "late" bus). Don't give up on us! I dont' want to out myself but I did a really cool DC thing that impacts every american life. I'm amazed that I came this far but I could not have done it alone. Teachers, the social services safety net, and other people's parents. I know the upper class parents didn't want me hanging with their kids until they got to know me. Then, they helped in any way they could. I am so grateful and pay it forward every chance I get. well, almost...I could do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crummy schools have had trillions dumped into them over the last 40 years. People do not change. Whether it’s culture or genetics, I don’t know. What I do know is that the needle NEVER moves. All the so called improvements are fake, the result of cheating, data juking and other manipulating schemes. And we need stop painting inner city teachers and admins as selfless saints. The most unqualified POS six-figure admins I’ve ever dealt with were inner city admins.

I worked in one of those schools. The problem was not the teachers or the admin or the curriculum or the students. The problem was poverty, which schools don't cause and can't solve alone. No amount of money put into a school for anything at all is going to help a kid who goes home to a crack house every day, who is abused, hungry, whose mom leaves him locked out of the house all night while she has "clients" in, and so on. All that really happens and it happens right here in Northern Virginia. That's why the needle doesn't move. It's people that need money, not schools.

Exactly. And that so many folks are ready to blame the kids for their situation says all you need to know about the people throwing stones.

+1

And someone was advocating to just give extra SNAP cards to these parents and eliminate FARM

As a former poor who now is a rich white NoVa DCUMer, here's why SNAP increases don't work. My mom was/is stupid. She could not budget and SNAP benefits never ran through the end of the month. That last week, I was hungry and so were my sibs. So school lunch was it. All I ate for 5 days each month. This was before the breakfast program. I'm old, formally poor and now insufferable.

This makes sense, thank you for sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about living in a country where I am not responsible for your kids? If your school is a problem, go somewhere else. Your kids are not my problem.

"Seriously, screw those kids. They should've picked better parents."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying "Nice White Parents" is racist and targeting a specific racial group because of your negative feelings toward them.

White's not a "racial group".

[Anonymous]

Child poverty and food insecurity is absolutely a problem and needs to be better addressed. However, these are programs that should be handled outside of our school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why the focus is on the behavior of white parents in the 60s when we can see Asian families today using every tool in the book to preserve their kids’ dominance at selective magnet schools like Stuyvesant and TJHSST. It obviously is not the case that white parents are the only ones trying to maximize their own kids’ advantages.

What do you propose? Quotas? The elimination of standardized tests? Hard pass.

See the thread in the AAP forum. There apparently is one particular prep company that accounts for 25% of the admitted class. This company only teaches Indian students. And there are multiple current TJ students who have stated in a public FB group that this company had a copy of part of the test ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why the focus is on the behavior of white parents in the 60s when we can see Asian families today using every tool in the book to preserve their kids’ dominance at selective magnet schools like Stuyvesant and TJHSST. It obviously is not the case that white parents are the only ones trying to maximize their own kids’ advantages.

What do you propose? Quotas? The elimination of standardized tests? Hard pass.

See the thread in the AAP forum. There apparently is one particular prep company that accounts for 25% of the admitted class. This company only teaches Indian students. And there are multiple current TJ students who have stated in a public FB group that this company had a copy of part of the test ahead of time.

These are smart kids who would have done well either way.

[Anonymous]

This podcast dovetails nicely with the book Dream Hoarders. The only fault I found with the book is it failed to address race. Otherwise, it's spot on, and what's happening now. And how it hurts our entire society.

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Hoarders-American-Leaving-Everyone/dp/081572912X

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This podcast dovetails nicely with the book Dream Hoarders. The only fault I found with the book is it failed to address race. Otherwise, it's spot on, and what's happening now. And how it hurts our entire society.

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Hoarders-American-Leaving-Everyone/dp/081572912X

Yes! The hoarders and wreckers are to blame. Something must be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This podcast dovetails nicely with the book Dream Hoarders. The only fault I found with the book is it failed to address race. Otherwise, it's spot on, and what's happening now. And how it hurts our entire society.

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Hoarders-American-Leaving-Everyone/dp/081572912X

Yes, no one should care about their kids and do what's best for them. We all need to conform to mediocrity moron

[Anonymous]

All this woke-ness has convinced me to just worry about my kids and family. Decades of trying to be more "inclusive" has only produced generations of of those who simultaneously demand I give more and who hate me for how I give it.

Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

To everyone struggling with this podcast, on either side, I recommend reading Isabel Wikerson's new book, Caste. It is an informed and eye-opening look at how our country was built as a caste society with race as the caste determinate. It enlightens many of these contentious conversations about race.

As a member of the dominant caste, it gives me a new perspective on the societal programs and laws we have in place that keep our caste system going, despite a genuine desire by many to combat racism.

People on all sides of the issues raised around Nice White Parents would really benefit from reading this book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This podcast dovetails nicely with the book Dream Hoarders. The only fault I found with the book is it failed to address race. Otherwise, it's spot on, and what's happening now. And how it hurts our entire society.

https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Hoarders-American-Leaving-Everyone/dp/081572912X

Yes, no one should care about their kids and do what's best for them. We all need to conform to mediocrity moron

Nobody is saying that. Guess you are name-calling without having read the book. Who's the less-intelligent one?

[Anonymous]

Do away with affirmative action in education (racism in all forms is destructive).
Do away with welfare and other failing programs.
Make vouchers widely available.
it's time to restore personal responsibility into our society.