Bad Art Friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://mobile.twitter.com/skepticalspice/status/1447261010662985736
Here’s a guy who was inspired to donate a kidney after seeing Dawn at the Lakers game. That’s why you’re supposed to talk about your donation. To take the fear out of it, show that you can live a full life after.

I was actually JUST going to post this. I actually almost teared up, in part because the message itself is quite beautiful and important, but also knowing that the person who inspired this action is being villainized by a flurry of self-important privileged elites who found glee in shitting on her. Wow. And her posts about this were SO NORMAL. Like, SO NORMAL. Wtf.

The only thing that makes it make any sense is that Dawn was really, really annoying. But even still, so annoying that grown-ups acted like this over her? It's SO weird. I've hated on some annoying people, but not to the point I'd write a story that everyone would know was about them (except that was the point, right!), lift a whole letter .. UGH!! No one has explained what Dawn could have possibly have done to deserve this treatment by Sonya and the writers. I saw this post from a Jezebel writer who personally knows Dorland: https://jezebel.com/for-the-love-of-bad-art-friends-1847828213

"Dorland inspired a different reaction, and I have never known why. Here was someone who was driven and passionate about many of the same things as me (writing, social justice, reproductive rights) but whose approach to those subjects made me feel insecure in ways I still find hard to pinpoint. We were friendly at first but the chemistry went sour. I shrank back, but there was so much I wanted to say. The wall of her intensity clammed me up, and I didn’t know how to handle this in a healthy way. The viability of a friendship can seem less reliant on shared values or interests, sometimes, than whether your insecurities are compatible."

I don't know exactly what she's talking about though. In my twenties, I hated this girl at work called "Larla," and I can enumerate her many faults, with detailed stories explaining how Larla was a suck up, a twit, a hypocrite, a baby, and besides all that ugly, and etc. No one is very clear about why Dorland was offensive.

+1

I developed a strong loathing of a woman I met in my early 30s after a brief friendship that went bad. But like you, I could explain in detail the reasons I came to hate this woman. I'm sure some people would find them petty (a lot of it has to do with these minor things that added up over time to drive me up the wall) but I could explain them. Yet I've seen nothing to explain why these people hate Dorland other than that she is intense and might come off as fake (her posts are super positive, stuff like the heart hands, all the hashtags). I can imagine being annoyed by someone like that, but not hating them unless they had done something to me specifically.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I obviously don't know Dawn or have personally met her, but it is a little telling I think that people aren't able to articulate exactly why beyond vague descriptors like "sunny" and "extra" and "obnoxious." Nothing hard or tangible.

I, too, have found many a person obnoxious or annoying, but I can confidently say I would never go so far as to torment and secretly ridicule as these people did, and certainly wouldn't justify that kind of behavior if it did come to light. I am not saying I'm a saint by any means whatsoever, either, it's just not... something I'd expend emotional energy on.

So, what is it? Part of me wants to hear from people who know Dawn personally and aren't, IDK, MFAs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://mobile.twitter.com/skepticalspice/status/1447261010662985736
Here’s a guy who was inspired to donate a kidney after seeing Dawn at the Lakers game. That’s why you’re supposed to talk about your donation. To take the fear out of it, show that you can live a full life after.

I was actually JUST going to post this. I actually almost teared up, in part because the message itself is quite beautiful and important, but also knowing that the person who inspired this action is being villainized by a flurry of self-important privileged elites who found glee in shitting on her. Wow. And her posts about this were SO NORMAL. Like, SO NORMAL. Wtf.

The only thing that makes it make any sense is that Dawn was really, really annoying. But even still, so annoying that grown-ups acted like this over her? It's SO weird. I've hated on some annoying people, but not to the point I'd write a story that everyone would know was about them (except that was the point, right!), lift a whole letter .. UGH!! No one has explained what Dawn could have possibly have done to deserve this treatment by Sonya and the writers. I saw this post from a Jezebel writer who personally knows Dorland: https://jezebel.com/for-the-love-of-bad-art-friends-1847828213

"Dorland inspired a different reaction, and I have never known why. Here was someone who was driven and passionate about many of the same things as me (writing, social justice, reproductive rights) but whose approach to those subjects made me feel insecure in ways I still find hard to pinpoint. We were friendly at first but the chemistry went sour. I shrank back, but there was so much I wanted to say. The wall of her intensity clammed me up, and I didn’t know how to handle this in a healthy way. The viability of a friendship can seem less reliant on shared values or interests, sometimes, than whether your insecurities are compatible."

I don't know exactly what she's talking about though. In my twenties, I hated this girl at work called "Larla," and I can enumerate her many faults, with detailed stories explaining how Larla was a suck up, a twit, a hypocrite, a baby, and besides all that ugly, and etc. No one is very clear about why Dorland was offensive.

+1

I developed a strong loathing of a woman I met in my early 30s after a brief friendship that went bad. But like you, I could explain in detail the reasons I came to hate this woman. I'm sure some people would find them petty (a lot of it has to do with these minor things that added up over time to drive me up the wall) but I could explain them. Yet I've seen nothing to explain why these people hate Dorland other than that she is intense and might come off as fake (her posts are super positive, stuff like the heart hands, all the hashtags). I can imagine being annoyed by someone like that, but not hating them unless they had done something to me specifically.

The "fake" argument falls flat when it becomes increasingly clear that Sonya was the one who was fake in this relationship, leading Dawn to believe in their friendship. Calling her "my dear," recommending Dawn apply for a job at GrubStreet, etc. Is it really that difficult to establish boundaries? It really does feel like Dawn was deceived not just by Sonya, but by the promise of community and safe-space-ness that was promised to her explicitly by GrubStreet.

[Anonymous]

I really used to respect Roxane but I'm incredibly disappointed. How privileged, holier-than-thou, and clueless can one be?

[Anonymous]

Do Celeste Ng's television-ready potboilers include characters who have a gracious, even-keeled social persona but are actually totally maniacal beneath the mask?

If so, "Write what you know", as they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I obviously don't know Dawn or have personally met her, but it is a little telling I think that people aren't able to articulate exactly why beyond vague descriptors like "sunny" and "extra" and "obnoxious." Nothing hard or tangible.

I, too, have found many a person obnoxious or annoying, but I can confidently say I would never go so far as to torment and secretly ridicule as these people did, and certainly wouldn't justify that kind of behavior if it did come to light. I am not saying I'm a saint by any means whatsoever, either, it's just not... something I'd expend emotional energy on.

So, what is it? Part of me wants to hear from people who know Dawn personally and aren't, IDK, MFAs.

Feels like the writing community must be small and a bit like high school. They’re are cool kids and then people like Dawn. Dawn could exhibit the same behavior as a popular writer but she’d be ostracized for it while the popular writer would be rewarded. Imagine if Dawn stole bits of Sonya’s life without giving her a heads up or plagiarized her writing. Would Sonya consider that no big deal? Sonya is obviously well liked and people will stretch to defend friends and loved ones. I don’t care how annoying or narcissistic Dawn is, Sonya is in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another important fact:

“Dawn had hoped all along that a member of her recipient's family would also donate a kidney (that did not match with their loved one) to another stranger. Sure enough, inspired by her extraordinary act of kindness, the recipient's wife donated the gift of life to a young mother in Oregon the same day as Dawn's procedure.“

https://www.nba.com/lakers/laker-for-a-day

Also, apparently Dawn’s original letter was not for the recipient, but the potential person at the end of the donation chain, which really changed how the letter itself is interpreted.

Wow- there is even more to it:

“ An avid Los Angeles Lakers fan, Brian always watched the team’s social media feeds. He was casually scrolling his Facebook page when he saw a video about a woman named Dawn Dorland Perry, who was being recognized as a Laker for a Day in February 2017 by the team and its health partner, UCLA Health, for donating her kidney to a stranger.

As it turned out, she and Brian’s dad shared the same surgical team at UCLA.

“This was my final sign, my tipping point, my inspiration,” Brian recalled. “It felt like a calling to me.”

With his mind made up, Brian contacted the UCLA kidney transplant program and began the donor evaluation process.

Even if he was not a match, Brian was determined to donate his organ as part of a kidney chain at UCLA. A chain is where donors who don’t match with a loved one give their kidney to someone else. In turn, it helps their loved one get a kidney from another donor in the chain.

After the donor evaluation, the family learned that the father and son were a match.

On Aug. 9, 2017, the team removed Brian’s kidney and immediately transplanted it into Dana, who lives in Los Alamitos, California. The healthy, pink kidney started working immediately.

“Dana’s transplanted kidney functioned beautifully,” said Dr. Jeffrey Veale, director of the UCLA Kidney Exchange Program. ”Brian did something really big for his dad.”

Months later, that Lakers connection with Dawn’s video was still on Brian’s mind.

He emailed the Lakers to tell them how her story affected his family. And he wrote that he wanted to nominate his dad, a lifelong Lakers fan, to be a Laker for A Day to help raise awareness of the need for organ donation.

When he heard back, it was an invitation for the father and son to both be honored as Lakers for a Day. And, they would be featured in their own social media video, like Dawn Dorland Perry, who they eventually met during the taping of the video.

“Meeting Brian and his dad was so gratifying,” Perry said. “When I went through the process, I did not count on how powerful the gesture would be.”

I mean, wow. hate on Dawn all you want, but look what she did/inspired! Sonya is a stone cold loser by comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another important fact:

“Dawn had hoped all along that a member of her recipient's family would also donate a kidney (that did not match with their loved one) to another stranger. Sure enough, inspired by her extraordinary act of kindness, the recipient's wife donated the gift of life to a young mother in Oregon the same day as Dawn's procedure.“

https://www.nba.com/lakers/laker-for-a-day

Also, apparently Dawn’s original letter was not for the recipient, but the potential person at the end of the donation chain, which really changed how the letter itself is interpreted.

Wow- there is even more to it:

“ An avid Los Angeles Lakers fan, Brian always watched the team’s social media feeds. He was casually scrolling his Facebook page when he saw a video about a woman named Dawn Dorland Perry, who was being recognized as a Laker for a Day in February 2017 by the team and its health partner, UCLA Health, for donating her kidney to a stranger.

As it turned out, she and Brian’s dad shared the same surgical team at UCLA.

“This was my final sign, my tipping point, my inspiration,” Brian recalled. “It felt like a calling to me.”

With his mind made up, Brian contacted the UCLA kidney transplant program and began the donor evaluation process.

Even if he was not a match, Brian was determined to donate his organ as part of a kidney chain at UCLA. A chain is where donors who don’t match with a loved one give their kidney to someone else. In turn, it helps their loved one get a kidney from another donor in the chain.

After the donor evaluation, the family learned that the father and son were a match.

On Aug. 9, 2017, the team removed Brian’s kidney and immediately transplanted it into Dana, who lives in Los Alamitos, California. The healthy, pink kidney started working immediately.

“Dana’s transplanted kidney functioned beautifully,” said Dr. Jeffrey Veale, director of the UCLA Kidney Exchange Program. ”Brian did something really big for his dad.”

Months later, that Lakers connection with Dawn’s video was still on Brian’s mind.

He emailed the Lakers to tell them how her story affected his family. And he wrote that he wanted to nominate his dad, a lifelong Lakers fan, to be a Laker for A Day to help raise awareness of the need for organ donation.

When he heard back, it was an invitation for the father and son to both be honored as Lakers for a Day. And, they would be featured in their own social media video, like Dawn Dorland Perry, who they eventually met during the taping of the video.

“Meeting Brian and his dad was so gratifying,” Perry said. “When I went through the process, I did not count on how powerful the gesture would be.”

I mean, wow. hate on Dawn all you want, but look what she did/inspired! Sonya is a stone cold loser by comparison.

Agree. Sonya wrote a very weak short story to make fun of her frenemy. Dawn saved one life directly and inspired more. Dawn wins. Sonya can console herself over wine with Celeste Ng. Neither of them going on to better things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://mobile.twitter.com/skepticalspice/status/1447261010662985736
Here’s a guy who was inspired to donate a kidney after seeing Dawn at the Lakers game. That’s why you’re supposed to talk about your donation. To take the fear out of it, show that you can live a full life after.

I was actually JUST going to post this. I actually almost teared up, in part because the message itself is quite beautiful and important, but also knowing that the person who inspired this action is being villainized by a flurry of self-important privileged elites who found glee in shitting on her. Wow. And her posts about this were SO NORMAL. Like, SO NORMAL. Wtf.

The only thing that makes it make any sense is that Dawn was really, really annoying. But even still, so annoying that grown-ups acted like this over her? It's SO weird. I've hated on some annoying people, but not to the point I'd write a story that everyone would know was about them (except that was the point, right!), lift a whole letter .. UGH!! No one has explained what Dawn could have possibly have done to deserve this treatment by Sonya and the writers. I saw this post from a Jezebel writer who personally knows Dorland: https://jezebel.com/for-the-love-of-bad-art-friends-1847828213

"Dorland inspired a different reaction, and I have never known why. Here was someone who was driven and passionate about many of the same things as me (writing, social justice, reproductive rights) but whose approach to those subjects made me feel insecure in ways I still find hard to pinpoint. We were friendly at first but the chemistry went sour. I shrank back, but there was so much I wanted to say. The wall of her intensity clammed me up, and I didn’t know how to handle this in a healthy way. The viability of a friendship can seem less reliant on shared values or interests, sometimes, than whether your insecurities are compatible."

I don't know exactly what she's talking about though. In my twenties, I hated this girl at work called "Larla," and I can enumerate her many faults, with detailed stories explaining how Larla was a suck up, a twit, a hypocrite, a baby, and besides all that ugly, and etc. No one is very clear about why Dorland was offensive.

That Jezebel writer wrote a terrible essay and comes across as a truly talentless, whining little itch. Sorry. I’m lying, I’m not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Like, “the wall of her intensity clammed me up.” YOU ARE NOT A GOOD WRITER. So MANY of those hating on Dawn CANNOT WRITE based on the fragments we’ve seen. (Don’t worry, I’m taking a breath. I’m just shocked- the audacity. The audacity!)

[Anonymous]

"But she was cringe" as the counterpoint to Dawn's growing résumé of lives saved feels somehow demonstrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do Celeste Ng's television-ready potboilers include characters who have a gracious, even-keeled social persona but are actually totally maniacal beneath the mask?

If so, "Write what you know", as they say.

Ha! Totally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But she was cringe" as the counterpoint to Dawn's growing résumé of lives saved feels somehow demonstrative.

Omg, yesss

[Anonymous]

Here is an email from Dawn to Sonya, and at the end she says anyone who has been medically-cleared deserves a kidney and then she cites a New Yorker piece that the Twitterverse is saying Sonya also ripped off for the title. She even gives her an out: ""I was giving you space to not endorse my choice if you didn't want to (I did get some strange reactions)." Dawn may have been needy, but look at how she ends the email: "Thanks again for the correspondence, Sonya. Let me know if you'd like to talk on the phone. Otherwise, I wish you well in your work." Why so much hate?

https://twitter.com/dancow/status/1446292364956471296/photo/1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But she was cringe" as the counterpoint to Dawn's growing résumé of lives saved feels somehow demonstrative.

"Yes, she saved lives, and yes I stalked her, made her think I was her friend, bullied her, got a bunch of other people to bully her too, stole her work, sued her, and gaslit her for years, but... she was cringe! Ugh you guys, she was so cringe, you don't even understand."