Dealbreaker: students required to live on campus for 3 or even 4 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this OP, it was great and fostered campus community.

If your dc doesn't want to do that, they can attend another university.

No kidding, really?

You say foster community, I say perpetuates the nanny state and delays growth in life skills like paying utility bills, taking out the garbage on the right night, shoveling snow to be a good neighbor, grocery shopping, cooking, and I can go on like this all day

Then you are a nutjob. There is no curfew. Juniors and seniors can get singles if you want. You still take the trash out. In an apartment you often do not pay utility bills except cable depending on what part of the country; you never never take out the garbage on a given night in an apartment, and you do not shovel snow, you still grocery shop for the dorms which often have full kitchens in newer dorms so you do cook. This is not a nanny state. At my undergrad senior housing was fantastic. Did not slow down me entering the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this OP, it was great and fostered campus community.

If your dc doesn't want to do that, they can attend another university.

No kidding, really?

You say foster community, I say perpetuates the nanny state and delays growth in life skills like paying utility bills, taking out the garbage on the right night, shoveling snow to be a good neighbor, grocery shopping, cooking, and I can go on like this all day

They will get there.

Why does it have to be at 20 instead of 22?

You sound pretty rigid.

And, many of the juniors and seniors opt to live in on-campus apartments where they shop, clean and cook (this is what I did ) or on-campus language houses where they speak their chosen language full-time (and shop, cook, clean take out trash etc). And since bills are basically all on auto-pay their utility bill is not any different than their spotify, amazon prime, other bills etc. They are still managing money and making sure they have enough if their account to pay for these. And in what typical off-campus housing at other colleges are kids shoveling snow or taking out garbage on a given day? Most places have a service to do that these days and apartments will have a dumpster that you put your trash in whenever (pretty much like a dorm). Most college kids are not living off-campus in single family homes. And even most 20 something college grads aren't living in single family homes where you do those things--the typical person will live in an apartment building in a city where they take care of those services and you have your bills on auto pay just adding to the bills teens and college students wherever they live have on auto-pay. It's almost as if you think that if college students aren't living your 'frozen in amber' version of what you think on-campus life and off-campus life are, they are not learning life skills. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23 year olds are typically not in college.
Not sure what schools have curfews. I went to a SLAC that had on-campus housing for all 4 years. It was fabulous. No curfew. Juniors and seniors had really nice rooms. Or they had suites with friends. No worry about rent.

You’re making an issue out of nothing.

OP here. My kid will be 22 years and 11 months old assuming he graduates in 4 years. He's not at all atypical for males in the class of '22.

Is your son complaining or you? Why do you think you are the exception to the rules? Have your son pick another college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this OP, it was great and fostered campus community.

If your dc doesn't want to do that, they can attend another university.

No kidding, really?

You say foster community, I say perpetuates the nanny state and delays growth in life skills like paying utility bills, taking out the garbage on the right night, shoveling snow to be a good neighbor, grocery shopping, cooking, and I can go on like this all day

They will get there.

Why does it have to be at 20 instead of 22?

You sound pretty rigid.

And, many of the juniors and seniors opt to live in on-campus apartments where they shop, clean and cook (this is what I did ) or on-campus language houses where they speak their chosen language full-time (and shop, cook, clean take out trash etc). And since bills are basically all on auto-pay their utility bill is not any different than their spotify, amazon prime, other bills etc. They are still managing money and making sure they have enough if their account to pay for these. And in what typical off-campus housing at other colleges are kids shoveling snow or taking out garbage on a given day? Most places have a service to do that these days and apartments will have a dumpster that you put your trash in whenever (pretty much like a dorm). Most college kids are not living off-campus in single family homes. And even most 20 something college grads aren't living in single family homes where you do those things--the typical person will live in an apartment building in a city where they take care of those services and you have your bills on auto pay just adding to the bills teens and college students wherever they live have on auto-pay. It's almost as if you think that if college students aren't living your 'frozen in amber' version of what you think on-campus life and off-campus life are, they are not learning life skills. So weird.

Auto pay? You sound incredibly sheltered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to imagine a parent getting all twisted up because her kid might not be able to get a cat or drink beer in his or her room senior year. Is this really a decision point, OP? Seriously?

OP here. It's a very significant factor for the student's decision making, yes. It's not about having a beer with your dog. It's about independence and autonomy. You know, making important choices for yourself as the adult that you are.

I should have known that SLAC grads from Tiny Rural Town, NewEngland would be overrepresented in the DCUM responses. If I went to school in Waterville, ME I'd likely stay on campus for 4 yrs, too.

You are just full of biases, instead of having an open mind and considering whether there might be advantages to something different than what you did.

What a shame if you have passed this narrow-mindedness on to your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our family is narrowing the list of reach/match schools, and as part of this process, we are closely reading about the details of 'student life.'

It had someone escaped our attention that DS's #1 and #3 choices require students to live in on campus, in assigned housing, for 3 and 4 years, respectively. One of these schools goes on and on about how nobody is likely to get an exemption from that rule (unless you're married with kids, significant ADA issue that can't be accommodated, etc.). What the hell?

On a whim I went down his 'Maybe list' of 15 schools and I see that the 3 year requirement is not a rarity. The notable exceptions are giant state schools and/or California schools. Why would a university mandate that their 22, 23 yr old students live in little dorm rooms, potentially with a roommate, and have curfews, alcohol bans, visitor limits and so on? Not to mention limits on having a pet, having a car, and more.

This would be great for my DD. Her sister had a horrible experience with off-campus roommates as a second year and that university did not allow you to come back into on campus housing once you left.

[Anonymous]

I don't get some of these comments, I went to a large state school where most people moved off campus sophomore year. Some stayed in dorms as sophs but definitely by junior year everyone had a house or apartment. "Off campus" doesn't mean moving thirty miles away, it just meant we were paying rent to a landlord instead of to the school. We were still physically right in the mix. In fact the places I lived were all closer to most of the academic buildings than my freshman year dorms.

[Anonymous]

What is the purpose of your post? If it’s a dealbreaker, he should go elsewhere. Not sure what the question is.

[Anonymous]

I don't get some of these comments, I went to a large state school where most people moved off campus sophomore year. Some stayed in dorms as sophs but definitely by junior year everyone had a house or apartment. "Off campus" doesn't mean moving thirty miles away, it just meant we were paying rent to a landlord instead of to the school. We were still physically right in the mix. In fact the places I lived were all closer to most of the academic buildings than my freshman year dorms. Still walked to classes, still participated in "campus life", blah blah blah. When I went to rent an apartment after graduation, it was great to have some rental history under my name.

[Anonymous]

Some colleges have these requirements. Many great colleges don't. Take your pick OP.

About 20 years ago, such a policy was challenged at Yale on multiple grounds, including religious freedom and antitrust. They lost.

https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=64499868774423475&hl=en&as_sdt=6,36 (district court dismissing)

https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=7485550729974992469 (Second Circuit affirming)

[Anonymous]

I think it is mostly small private schools that have this requirement, especially LACs and especially if they are in more rural areas where there wouldn't really be any good options for students to live off campus. If this is a deal breaker for your kid, look at state schools or bigger private schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a deal breaker, don’t bother applying.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this OP, it was great and fostered campus community.

If your dc doesn't want to do that, they can attend another university.

No kidding, really?

You say foster community, I say perpetuates the nanny state and delays growth in life skills like paying utility bills, taking out the garbage on the right night, shoveling snow to be a good neighbor, grocery shopping, cooking, and I can go on like this all day

They will get there.

Why does it have to be at 20 instead of 22?

You sound pretty rigid.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to imagine a parent getting all twisted up because her kid might not be able to get a cat or drink beer in his or her room senior year. Is this really a decision point, OP? Seriously?

OP here. It's a very significant factor for the student's decision making, yes. It's not about having a beer with your dog. It's about independence and autonomy. You know, making important choices for yourself as the adult that you are.

I should have known that SLAC grads from Tiny Rural Town, NewEngland would be overrepresented in the DCUM responses. If I went to school in Waterville, ME I'd likely stay on campus for 4 yrs, too.

You are just full of biases, instead of having an open mind and considering whether there might be advantages to something different than what you did.

What a shame if you have passed this narrow-mindedness on to your child.

I'm not sure how many different ways that I can say this is my adult son driving the process here.

Also, all the people telling me it's so awesome and juniors will get big apartments with no other roommates and full kitchens -- really? You're basing your blanket statement on an N=1 and you have no idea which colleges I'm talking about.

I'm looking at one college's website that directly contradicts you. That would be the previously frontrunner college.

[Anonymous]

OP if this factor is important to you and your kid, then find a school among the thousands that fit your bill. But expecting all those schools to contort to your version of adulthood demonstrates a personality disorder. You do you.